| My name is Kandace and I am from a very small town in alabama! I am also a christian and it is awesome! As of right now I live with my grandparents. My biological father died exactly 4 months before I was born. My mom met the father I do know when I was 6 months old and they got married. He adopted me into his side of the family. About a year later my younger sister was born. Then when I was 9 my dad left us because he had cheated on my mom and had another woman pregnant. He now lives in Georgia. I used to live with my mom but she had one of her boyfriends living with her and I could not tolerate him. She always yelled at my sister and me and told us how much she didn't want to see us and constantly hitting and yelling at us. At the time I didn't know how to handle things so I would go outside and make myself throw up, then when I would be sick I would have to stay home and take care of myself. Finally my sister and I moved in with my grandparents. Eventually, we went to court and began seeing my mother again. She had married the guy she was with when we left but it didn't last long. We seen her twice and her new husband left because she wasn't getting my SSI check from my biological dad or child support for my sister so he decided to leave. Then he got on drugs and decided to try to take my mothers life. My mother was extreamly beautiful. After my dad left she lost alot of weight, she had long silky blonde hair, she finally began to act like she loved us. She hugged me alot. The only memory I really have of her was the last time I seen her. The wind was gently blowing and the tempature was just right. As we drove up to meet her she got out of her car. She had on a red silk shirt, her hair was down and was blowing in the wind. She took her sunglasses off and put them on top of her hair. She began to walk over to me and she hugged me and told me she loved me. We drove around that day with the radio on singing together. We went back to her house and layed outside for a while just talking. Then she let me drive her car from her drive way down the road to the stop sign. I was almost considering going back to live with her. Saturday, May 8,1999, It was the Saturday I was supposed to see my mom. Mothers Day was Sunday and I wanted to do something special for her. I had saved up money and was going to buy her some flowers and a gift and had a homemade card telling her how much I loved her. My grandmother came downstairs and woke me up early. My mom wasn't supposed to be there for another hour. As I walked up the steps I sensed that something was wrong. My grandmother had only acted that way once before and that was when my dad left us and she picked us up at the end of the drive way because it was storming. When I came up my grandparents from my mothers side and my preacher were in the kitchen. My sister was sitting on my grandads knee crying. As I entered the door way everything seemed like a dream. My moms parents began telling me how My mom was in intensive care and didn't know if she was going to make it. The rest is blank. I don't remember hearing anything else. I just remember all these thoughts and memories were racing through my head. Everything seemed unreal. I went to go see my mom about 3 weeks later. Everyone told me she looked alot better, and I still had the image of her getting out of the car the last time i seen her. As I walked down the hall and came to her wide door my heart was pounding and I had butterflies in my stomache. My grandad opened the door and motioned for us to come in. As I walked in my mom was sitting in a chair to the left. She couldn't open her left eye, her long silky blonde hair was now filthy and knotted, and she was hooked up to all of these tubes. My mom is still alive but has some brain damage and isn't the same person she used to be. I haven't seen her in 3 years and only talk to her about 3 or 4 times a year. Feb 7, 2002, My grandpa from my bilogical dad's side of the family died. I had gotton a phone call that night about 8:00 wanting me to come up to the hospital because they didn't expect him to make it through they night. I stayed until about 3 and they told me to go home because they didn't want me to miss school. The next day I called after school and he had died around 8:00 that morning. My biological father had a son with another woman before i was born. He's 18 and I met him at the hospital that night and then again at the funeral. It's taken me a long time to get over losing my grandfather, but I'm glad he's in a better place and isn't in pain anymore. Revelation 21:4- and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, now crying; neither shall there be anymore pain; for the former things are passed away. Jerimiah 29:11- "For I know the plans I have for you," Declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Proverbs 16:9- In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps Psalm 9:9- The Lord is a refuge for the opperessed, a strong hold in times of trouble. My child, I loved you before you were born, I knit you in your mothers womb and knew what your 1st and last words would be. I knew every difficulty you would face. I suffered each one with you, even the ones you didn't suffer with me. I had a plan for your life before you were born. The plan has not yet changed no matter what has happened to you or what you have done. You see, I already knew all things concerning you before I formed you. I would never allow any hurt to come into your life that I couldn't use for eternity. Will you let me? Your truth is unfinished unless you view it against the backdrop of my word. Your story will forever remain half-finished.......untill you let me do my half with your hurt. Le me perfect that which concerns you. -your faithful father |
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