Chapter Three
A cold dance on the ice

"Hey, Ishihara, are you trying out for the ice skating part too?"

"Sure am, Kuwano! Besides with a partner like Elen who wouldn't want to miss this job?"

"Yeah all the guys are trying."

"Have you heard? There are rumors going on about the transfer student and Elen going out on a date yesterday."

"Yeah, I heard. You think it's true?"

"I don't know. But this transfer student guy better not come any closer. Elen's mine!"

"Says you and who's army? Face it, Ishihara, everyone guy wants her. The school committee is even using her as a popularity boost. But you are right, if this transfer student gets any closer . . . "

"Oh yeah, I heard. Remember what JB said? Hahahah! He turned Vera down! She was mad as a hornet!"

"Yeah now that was a first!"

"(yatayatayatayatayatayatablahblahblahblahblah)"

"(soandsoandsoandsoandsoandsoandsoandsoandso)!"

Ririka chuckled as she heard the latest campus gossip. Her friend, Elen, however was distracted and it was annoying her, badly.

"Would you stop jiggling around?"

"I can't! The try outs are today and about a hundred guys are gonna try and partner with me."

"I know! Isn't it exciting?"

"Ririka, unlike you I do not like men always hitting on me."

"I don't too! But that's beside the point. What I meant was that it would help you and your skills."

"I know, I know."

"So you think Jonathan is going to show up?"

"Jonathan?"

"Don't tell you had a lunch in heaven with the guy and you actually forgot his name the next day?"

"Oh, you mean him. No, he said . . . that he liked basketball."

Ririka rolled her eyes.

"So? That doesn't mean he can't skate either."

"Well, I don't know."

"What do you think of him?"

"Think of who?"

"Jonathan of course! Good God, Elen, would try to at least keep up with ongoing conversation?"

"Oh him . . . "

"Don't just go,'Oh, him.' Use his name, that's what it's there for! Have some respect for the guy's name."

"I will, I will! Okay, Jonathan."

"Good, now continue."

"Continue what?"

"Elen! I asked you what you thought of him?"

Elen took a moment to consider this before answering her friend truthfully.

"Seriously, Ririka, I don't know."

"Elen, what's happening to you? You look so different now. Ever since you saw him. I have a feeling that this is going way over my head. Oh, Elen, I just hope you'll be alright,"Ririka thought sadly.

In a ditch effort to cheer her up Ririka played a few funny jokes, all of which were given by some weak smiles and chuckles by Elen. It seemed an eternity to Elen but in actuality it was only a few minutes later when Ririka tapped her lightly on the shoulder and give her a reassuring smile for support. Elen knew right away it was time for the try outs. Already some men were leaving their lunch benches just to have a good feel on the ice. Unknowingly her eyes sought out for the familiar face. The dangerous
icy Prussian blue eyes, the mahogany brown hair that seemed green under a certain light, the smooth pale skin, the slender body, and the dangerous smile.

"Come on, Elen. We don't have time."

"Yeah . . . "

"You want to see him, don't you?"

"Huh?"

"Jonathan . . . you want to see him."

"How would you know that?!"

"I don't know. I just feel it. That you needed each other. Anyway, I'm talking crazy! Come on, we need to get you on the ice!"

Giggling excitedly Ririka pulled a silent Elen to the ice rink.

"Whoa, would you look at how many people are trying out for the skating position?"

'Yeah . . . The entire ice court is filled up."

"And most of them are skaters."

"We gotta see this. I wonder who's going to win."

A geeky guy walked past them, the same one who asked Heero if he was talking to him. He happened to overhear the girl=s chitchat and decided to put his two cents in it.

"Actually, some of them have a very high chance of winning. Jared Ace was supposed to be an ice skating hockey champion once."

"Darwin! Don't scare us like that!"

"Sorry."

"No worries. Anyway is it really true that Jared Ace was a skating champion?"

"Yeah. I wanna see how this goes out. The majority of these guys like Elen and they'll do anything to get her."

"Yeah but what about that new guy?"

"He isn't even here yet. I doubt he'll show up."

"He sure is cute. Him and Ms. Elen would make a good couple."

"Yeah. Ooh, it's starting."

The ice skating couch went up to the middle and took up a megaphone. His voice blared through it.

"Aright, tryouts! I want to see good skating and I am going to see good skating! If you're just a rookie you better get out of this gym because I am going to humiliate you! This try outs are for the pros! The ones who have the will to survive and the determination to keep up! And if you're a big beefcake of a guy and don't have a clue about skating, scamper out! We want
ones who already have experience! Alright, after weeding out the wimps here's how the try out goes! I will have you and our champion skater Ms. Lia to go on a duo on a song and try this combo!"

The coach indicated at a series of jumps, twirls, spins, whirls, and everything.

"Then we'll see if you're good enough to make it to the skating team! Let the try outs begin!"

Skaters streamed down to the coach and formed a line. The coach was a strict man, that much was to be seen. Sometimes he eliminated at once just by looking and sometimes he just felt the guys arms and he would send them away. At the last there was only a handful of men that were to be respected as participants. The coach commanded them to do a series of spins, whirls,
twists, figures of eight, and such. Then it was only five or so people. The crowds were getting excited. Elen skated out gracefully with much applause from the crowd and she considered the contestants with the coach listening to his words and nodding every so often. She seemed disappointed for some reason.  Her eyes were downcast and demure but looked at the
participants if need be.They all rated well according to the coach but one stood above the rest. Jared Ace was a very nice skater. Elen winced inwardly. Would she have to be stuck partnered with this body obsessed fanatic? Jared smiled at her
showing off his body and he held out his arm. Elen offered a polite smile and started skating with him determined that Jared would not be her partner.

"Looking good, Elen."

"Hmm."

Elen started skating in time with the music. It seemed that even though Jared was good he wasn't able to keep up with Elen's move. Her movements were graceful, fluid, and perfect. Jared's were quick, impulsive, and jerky compared to hers. She cursed silently as he fumbled to a stop and he snaked his arm around her waist to stop her. She had to dig her skates hard on the ice to keep from pitching forward. Jared had enough and he started doing the last part of the combo. The spin. The watchers stared as he spun faster and faster. It was the coach who first noticed that he was getting out of control. He barked out at him.

"Ace, get yourself under control! You're spinning out of spot!"

Ace either didn't hear or didn't want to answer but either way he didn't stop. Elen skated in circles around him, shouting.

"Ace, if you keep on doing that you're going to crash into something! Get a grip!"

This time Elen was trying to dodge between the sharp skates to grab his arm or leg to stop him. The coach shouted again.

"Elen, get back! You'll hurt yourself!"

"I have to stop him! He's going to hurt himself!"

Elen made another wild grab. She almost grabbed his arm but it whisked past a second after Elen had made a grab for her. Elen was too wrapped up to notice the feet skating its way to her. Before she knew it she was lying on the ice, blood starting to seep out from the deep cut she had on her stomach. Several people were screaming and the coach was barking orders. In the distance she heard Ririka calling out.

"Elen! Elen!"

Jason had been knocked from his spin and he was sitting on the ice in a daze unaware of his surroundings. The coach was yelling furiously in his earpiece to the office for an ambulance and the other students were spilling onto the ice field. For some reason Relena could feel her breathing getting shallower and shallower and her vision was starting to get blurry. There was a
flurry of snow as a skater braked hard to stop near her. She sensed a hand pressing gently on her cut with some sort of towel. Opening her mouth to scream she found that she had no voice. Her head was starting to swim as her head turned from side to side trying to speak. She managed to mumble one single phrase.

"Please, no. It hurts."

"Ssh, Relena. I know it hurts but it'll all be gone soon, I promise. Just . . .. just don't leave . . . me."

Focusing her eyes with all her might Relena found a pair of Prussian blue eyes staring at her, worry and concern clouding its beautiful clearness.

"He- . . . "

Her eyes rolled back as she fell unconscious. The last thing she remembered was the tightening of the arms around her, the yelling increasing, and the warmth surrounding her.

"Doctor, is she going to be okay????"

"She's going to be fine. Her muscles are going to be sore and she'll feel some spasms of pain when she eats sometimes but she'll be fine, Ms. Papillon. Now, are you absolutely sure that Ms. Lia doesn't have any relatives at all? No credit account?"

"I'm her best friend not her keeper, Doctor! I don't monitor what she does. As far as I know she doesn't have a relative and where she gets her money she gets it from working on the Interstellar Space Observatory."

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry, Miss. Anyway we want to run a DNA test on her to see if she does have any relatives."

"Very well."

Relena moaned silently as she tried to move her stiff body. Her hand had a needle sticking from it. Her eyelids felt heavy and clumsy as she fought to regain consciousness.

"What's going on?"

"Elen! You're okay!"

Ririka dashed towards Elen's bedside, her eyes glimmering with worry.

"Ririka . . . where's He . . . ero?"

"Who? Elen, you need to save your strength. Rest now. And before you know it you'll be out of here."

"Ri . . .ri . . . ka . . . Heero . . . ?"

"Hero? What are you mumbling about?"

"Ririka . . . Jonathan . . . ?"

"Oh, you mean the hero who rescued you?? You're right it was Jonathan. Are you okay, Elen? Are you sure you're fine? Jason Ace hit you pretty bad there. At least the jerk is getting detention for a month."

"Ririka . . . Jonathan?"

"Rest, Elen!"

"Jonathan! Please . . . "

"Elen, I don't know where he is. He just got you to the hospital then he left."

"Jonathan . . . "

Elen looked away, tears starting to trickle down her cheeks.

"Elen, what's wrong? I know it was kinda mean of him but maybe he had other more important stuff to do, right? He could still come and visit you."

Burying her head on the pillow, Elen clenched her fist and dug her nails onthe bed with one thought running through her head.

"Nobody understand, nobody understands."

"What happened? Did I say something?"

"Ririka . . . you're the only . . . true friend I've ever had but . . .I'm sorry, I just need some time alone."

Ririka's eyes softened as she saw her usually strong best friend laying completely helpless on the bed with tears leaking off her eyes. What was the matter with her?! Jonathan shouldn't have such a big impact on her!  What was going on?

"I understand, Elen. Its okay, my friend. Rest easy. I'll bring your stuff over."

If Elen had replied Ririka didn't hear it but she seriously doubted if Elen had even heard. She was now burying her face on her pillow. The pillow was getting soaked with her tears. Her hands were bunched up on the bed clutching the fabric. Ririka closed the door silently and headed for the dorms.

There was another loud poof as Heero punched another pillow making the stuffings explode from the inside. He mumbled some obscenities and he closed his eyes painfully recalling the gorgeous Nile blue eyes looking blankly up at him, expressionless. The pain and hurt inside those eyes were enough to make him flinch every time he closed his eyes. The beauty she made, with her
light hair fanned out around her forming a halo reflecting the lights, her white outfit with the transparent outer cloth, the deadly paleness of her body, and the deep dark red blood forming around her brought horror to many people but yet the majesty and regalness could inspire an artist. But then the eyes boring into him . . . . It was more than he could bear. He just couldn't stand seeing, watching her laying on that blank white bed, silent and unmoving.

"My fault . . . my fault . . . It's all my fault! It's all my fault! If I had tried out for the stupid tournament! If only I had participated! I could have at least stopped her from skating with that Ace guy! Stupid, stupid, my fault, my fault . . . "

Heero laid down on his bed, breathing hard. His eyes closed pitifully, moaning slightly. His thoughts were running around like crazy inside his head batting the debate like a tennis ball between two players.

"Why do I even care? Why did I do that anyway? I just don't get it! What was I doing? Should I transfer to another school? Should I leave again?"

He seriously contemplated on that thought considering the pros and cons.  Deciding finally he stood up and looked at his stuff. There was only a few stuff to pack. Moving silently and swiftly he rummaged through his cabinet and shook the contents out. Randomly he began throwing items inside.  That is until he came up to a picture of the Gundam Pilots with Relena, Duo,
and Quatre making funny faces while the rest looked away. It had been a nice summer day. A vacation day from the usual battles and Relena had no appointments or meetings or speeches to make that day. The three of them, Trowa, Wufei, and him, had been convinced to go to the beach where Relena had met up with them. He remembered when he and the other Gundam Pilots had been dumped with sand because they had been staring too long and too painfully obvious at Relena. It was a good thing Relena didn't tell Zechs.  Instead of sand they would have been showered with bullets. Unbidden, an image of Relena
smiling and playing in the water splashing it on Duo, one building a sand castle with Quatre, another sitting and chatting on a boulder with Wufei and suddenly both of them started running away because a really strong wave was roaring towards them, one with Trowa doing underwater acrobatics, one with him just sitting with him enjoying his presence and playing with a few
strands of his hair, and finally one where she was lying fragile and helpless on the hospital bed. He groaned and sat on his bed, guilt overwhelming him.

"I don't know why but for some reason I feel like I have to protect her. Even for just a little while I'll stay and protect her."

Heero then laughed. It wasn't a happy laugh. It was the laugh that Heero, the one from the past, laughed. A bitter laugh of irony, of resignation.

"Looks like Fate binds us together and because of me Relena starts getting killed."

Relena sighed listlessly. Her slash at the stomach had gone quite deep but it was healing well and nothing was severely damaged. All she needed was time and rest to heal. The doctors had promised that by the end of three weeks they would have healed her wound and there wouldn't even be a scar thanks to the wonders of technology. She sighed again and turned over. Big mistake. The scent of way too many sweet scenting flowers hit her like a brick wall.  Relena groaned and glared at the huge stack of chocolate boxes, pounds of fruit, and the vases of flowers strewn all over the floor. Her bedside table was littered with get well cards from much too many people. Ririka had brought them all from students from their university and even from her
co-workers. That reminded her that she would miss three weeks of her school and her job. But that thought reminded her of the one thing she wanted to forget with all her heart. Heero Yuy. Or more publicly known as Jonathan Brandon. Since their last meeting, he had seldom come. In fact Relena could only remember one meeting from him. One visit. Just one visit from him was
enough to shatter her mending heart and make it bleed again. The old Heero Yuy had come back. Instead of the mysterious and rarely charming and sweet Jonathan Brandon Heero Yuy had come back. The one with the icy cold small smirk, the one who cared nothing but for his mission, his job. The one whose life revolved around it. The one who hated her. A sob tore at Relena's throat demanding release. Determined not to fall, not to cry Relena swallowed hard to force back the heart wrenching sob.

"I will not cry, I will not cry. No more tears. Just no more. You will
not
let them ruin your life again, Relena. You will not cry."

Burying her face in her pillow once more, she shut her eyes from the world letting darkness succumb to her.

Outside of the room Heero Yuy stood gazing at the barrier between him and Relena. It was confusing what he was going to do. His first visit was disastrous enough. He second would probably shred the last pieces of Relena's emotions so why? Why did he come here? Something was different inside of him.  Something strange. There was this yearning feeling in his heart. It was
like an ache, a longing. This feeling somehow made him feel misery. Grief.  But that couldn't be. He was the perfect soldier. Feeling nothing at all.  So why?  Why now? Why here and why for her? He had come to find Relena, he knew that.  But for what? After the Gundam Pilots had been officially declared no longer needed, when all their missions were over, they had their whole lives in front of them. All for them to do with. No, they didn't live for the colonies. No, they didn't fight to survive, fight and kill the enemies.  They were to live for themselves. All theirs. To Heero, starting a new life meant starting a really new life. One where no one knew him. He hadn't planned on leaving his fellow Gundam Pilots completely. He would just stay in touch.
Moreover to really leave his old life behind Heero had decided to say farewell to all the people he had known as Heero Yuy. And that included Relena Dorlian/Peacecraft.  He had come to say goodbye. But . . . when he saw her again. All alive and well, full of life and brilliance but somehow emanating a sad and lonely aura he was drawn.  It was the first time he had really appreciated her beauty and her vibrance for life. Her manners and actions were graceful and cute, ladylike but somehow he found himself laughing, as if that Relena wasn't really the Relena he knew. But that was partly true. The Relena he knew was very different. The Relena he knew was very courageous, brave, and held independent ideals and stuck with them, unafraid to stand up. This Relena was more subdued, more tired. His past actions . . . they were beyond his reasoning. He didn't understand why he did those things. Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind, one that had been lurking in the shadows, ready if the opportunity presented itself.

'Maybe I didn't come to say goodbye to Relena. Maybe I didn't come just to say farewell. Maybe I had actually come because instead of saying goodbye to the past, I was going to greet the future. Maybe the real reason I came was because I thought I could build my future, with Relena. But now that I know . .. . what should I do??? I couldn't stay with her. She doesn't want me.  I should leave. But this ache. It feels like its telling me to stay. Yes, it is a need. A need to protect her. What's this all about?! What are these feelings?!'

"Excuse me, are you coming in? Oh its you, Jonathan!"

Heero looked up, surprised though he didn't show it. He didn't notice her come at all. How could that happen? Being attentive, on the guard 24/7, he knew what would come. Whatever these feelings were, he had to get rid of them, and fast. They were dangerous! He couldn't concentrate with those feelings fluttering around.

"Oh."

Stepping back to allow the girl passage he turned to walk away.

"Wait!"

Halting slightly he paused.

"I know this sounds crazy but . . . I just can't stand to see Elen hurt anymore. Please, come inside even for just a little bit. The Elen I know is always sad, however she may act, she's always sad. The only time I've ever seen her completely happy . . . was with you. Please . . . go talk to her.  Elen's my best friend and I . . . want to see her happy. Again, like the happy you brought her when after your date."

"What makes you think I made her happy?"

His cold calculating and harsh voice made the girl step back. However, the memory of the occupant inside the room they were standing before made her steel herself, for a little while at least.

"I don't know how but I know that something you did, did make her very happy.  There are times . . . when her eyes, they turn so dark and pained that I want to look away. Something inside her is still hurting. The wound is still there in her heart but you made her forget. I don't care how you did it, just do something!"

"Don't talk to me about heart. Don't even talk to me about Elen. I have no idea who she is besides what's she's told me, no idea what I did to make her happy, and no intention of relieving her pain. If she has any besides her physical pain that is, it's her fault for having that pain. She ran away from her mistakes and she's coward for doing that. I'd say she deserved it."

With that he coldly walked away with the girl with fiery red hair staring, slack jawed and eyes wide in disbelief and rage.

"You don't deserve her!!!!! You're the coward!!!!! You're the coward for not going with your heart!!!!!! You're a coward for not helping her out just so you can maintain cool image around you!!!!! Whoever deserves pain here, is you!!!!!! I hope your heart gets twisted out, beaten up, and burned so bad there'll be nothing left of it!!!!!"

"I hope so too."

It's amazing how one sentence, one phrase has so much power. One phrase, said with emotion, can move a mountain and inspire great artists such as Leonardo Da Vinci. In fact words spoken with such magnitude, with such intensity are often given such high regard. At times it is even treated as a miracle, with the power in it, could persuade thousands, and make the indifferent think twice. But this phrase that Ririka heard, was not said with emotion, not said with anything at all. There wasn't any hint in it. No indication of sorrow, of regret, or of even joy. It was flat monotonous. Yet it had the same power as emotion filled words did. Its simple meaning baffled Ririka even more so that anything. It kept her silent as she watched the mysterious aloof Jonathan Brandon walk away.

Jonathan, calmly pulled on his jacket and stepped out on the cold day.  The clouds outside hung gray and overcast.  Nimbustratus, he noted. It was expected to rain. Just as he was prepared to step out from the shelter of the building he felt wetness on his cheeks. His hand came up and quickly brushed it aside.

"What? Its not raining yet."

He took one more look at the desolate sky and confirmed that it wasn't raining yet. So how in the world did his cheeks get wet. Puzzled and curious, Jonathan wiped more from his other cheek before straightening up. His back was stiff and ramrod straight. Touching his cheeks again, Heero finally realized what they were.

"Tears . . ."
 
 

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Author's note: Hey, minna-san. Hope you like the story so far. School
and SAT
9 tests are coming up and we have to study extra hard, not that we ever
do
anyway. Sorry for making it take so long. I've got some fics I really
need to
work on. Chapter 4 might come up soon.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing and Co. They belong to some people
who I
forgot the names of. Sorry.