Sizism oppresses all of us. Whether fat or thin, chances are you have had a distorted view of yourself and others because of sizism. This is internalized size oppression. Chances are you have hurt yourself and others because of this distorted view. This perpetuates sizism.
Size activists have been around for years, as have Big Beautiful People and their lovers. It is possible to be fat, healthy, and happy, and actively resist the constraints of the societal oppression that is sizism. It isn't easy to overcome a lifetime of messages telling you that you're not good enough.
These guidelines are not steps, but a process. There won't be a universal order to the stages one may go through. I have expressed each in a positive and negative form. Sometimes in the process it is necessary to raise the hand that says, "Stop. Don't." Sometimes a more affirming or accepting view is needed.
The goal here is to live and feel healthier, to be happy with who you are and who you can be. A side effect may be that you lose weight, or it could be that you gain more weight. So much painful baggage regarding the issue of weight has been heaped upon us all; I hope these guidelines help you shed the baggage, not necessarily the weight.
This principle forms the standard for all the other guidelines. It is the foundation that can make or break recovery from any internalized oppression.
The oppression of sizism has affected all aspects of your life: you've internalized the messages, you've had your health endangered, and you've had opportunities denied you.
This doesn't mean you should blame others, or look to sizism as the culprit for all your problems. This is a stage in recovery: feel your indignation fully, take responsibility for the way you express it, and move on when it's time.
Food sustains your life. It is not your enemy.
We need others to support us, to teach us, to learn from us, to call us on our shit. Find ways to feel less alone, whether it's through books, zines, web communities, support groups, friends, you name it.
You are who you are because of environment and genetics. You have been wounded by sizism (and other oppressions) and by life in general. Before you can heal, you need to be able to Name the hurts.
Before you can become a whole person, you need to face the ways you have hurt yourself and others. Just name, just accept, don't blame. Be aware of the ways in which past conditions affect the person you are today. It is possible to recognize these conditions, and it is possible to choose to change how they affect you. Mistakes will happen, and they will teach you, and they may be a blessing.
Weight is such an easy scapegoat. Not seeing beyond it can be dangerous. If you think, "Everything would be alright if I weighed less," you need to pay close attention to this guideline.
If someone would like to blame your weight, question that thought. Does this happen to thin people too? Living all your life with the voices murmuring of laziness and lack of will-power, you may not trust yourself much at all. Learn to hear and trust your inner voice.
Meet what arises and work with it. Pick the pieces that you can do, save the harder pieces for later. Maybe they won't be so hard later, or maybe you'll feel stronger at another time. Notice the pieces you avoid. Ask yourself why.
How often do you call yourself OVERweight? Follow in the footsteps of grrls and queers and proudly claim the descriptive words such as fat and large.
Having received so many messages that fat people are unhealthy, we may think we can't be healthy, so we may not even try.
