I had kept my secret for years from my wife. This was just killing me, I shared everything with her, and I didn't want to keep such a wonderful part of my life away from her any longer. I had to find a way.
It took me a little over a year to prepare the pathway to reach her. Considering the possibilities of misunderstanding, I began by bringing the subject into the for-front, whenever an article appeared on the news, in the paper or a magazine. Movies like "Mrs. Doubtfire," "Tootsie," "Birdcage," and others of similar content were good too. I even taped a "Geraldo" interview with "Jonny" and other MTF personalities. All positive viewpoints.
We have always been good at communicating with eachother, so it was easy. Our discussions showed me that there was little to worry about. The only difficulty I had, was the trail of deception that I had traveled for so long. This became very apparent when I took it upon myself to dress for Halloween... As Heidi (the vice cop) for a Halloween Party my band was playing at, and she wasn't going. She was hurt that I didn't share the fact that I was going to wear a "costume" She loved the pictures, but felt she missed out.
My explaination was "a spur of the moment gleen of courage" to wear that particular costume. Then I made a vow to share the experience the next Halloween.
As October came, I did my best to assemble the components of our costumes... (School Girls) My plan was to have us both wear similar costumes. I even found several parts of cheer leader costumes (thrift shops) for the following year. As the school girl costume came together first, it was decided that it would be our choice. The one cheerleader costume, I'd wear to work, as she went as a hockey player to her job. She was off the day I went to work in costume (a Friday) so she came out during my lunch hour, when I went to the campus costume contest. I won first place for "cutest" ($50). She video taped the entire contest and had a great time.
That night, we put on our "school girl" costumes and went out... We bar hopped, and she was intrigued at how well I passed as a girl. She couldn't take her eyes off me, she was so amazed at how I looked (I guess she thought I was very pretty as a girl...blush blush).
The next night, we got our "school girl" costumes back on and went to the Party where my band was playing. Again it was a thrill for both of us, and continued long afterwards to breakfast and then home to bed. I kept my stockings and bra on, and we made love with a new energy that surprised us both.
It was this new excitement that prompted me to buy us both silk nightgowns. This really went over well. She loved the feel of me wearing the "slinkies".
From that night on, I began to unravel the truth of my dressing expertise. I shared the story of my youth and several from years passed. I talked about the Transgender Community and all the fun things to do. This inspired her more, as I shared the internet articles of others like us. She was really alright with this.
I paced the disclosures with other facets of the transgender community. We soon made plans on attending some TG socials. The first would be New Years Night. All the while, I dressed each night as a male with my slinkies. I soon had shaven my legs and we were sharing many new sensations together.
Our New Years Eve began by attending a TG friendly restaurant for a wonderful dinner. The Waiter and Waitress referred to us as "Ladies" as we dined. Afterwards we left for a masquerade party at a Gay/Lesbian Bar, and stayed til about 10pm. Unfortunately, my wife was beginning to get a fever, and we left. She was so glad that I didn't feel bad about having to go, but that is all part of loving another, compassion and consideration. We arrived home and shared our New Years together.
Several weeks later we went to a TG social and that was the true moment of total acceptance. My wife was welcomed with open arms and "everyone" made her feel accepted. I was so happy and she was so enthralled by the way I looked and how everyone liked me so much. It was a true test of unconditional love from others. As diverse a community we Transgendered people are, there is a common bond that supersedes all our differences. It is this compassion and feminine sincerity that removes the male ego, one-up-man-ship and enhances these true human beings. My wife and I are proud to represent them in all that we are.
My older sister, a (GG), has known and shared in my passion to be a woman for many years. I visit her often and when I do, I always dress. She has provided me with a sanctuary and closet to transform myself into her sister whenever I visit. We do makeovers, facials, and fix eachothers hair. I count myself very fortunate to have this type of relationship with her. I'm her best girlfriend. Okay, here goes, it was several years ago. I arrived at my sisters home, and it was my birthday, the next day. So, she wanted to do something special, and I had to say I would do it before whe told me what it was going to be. I did, and committed myself to an adventure that has continued ever since. The next morning, I awoke and took my shower, shaved myself clean and got dressed. She had picked out a short denim skirt and a red and blue striped top. I put these on over my bra, panties and pantyhose, slipped on a pair of low heels and went to the kitchen for breakfast. She then gave me a hint what she had planned, so I wouldn't be too worried, she said I should trust her. I always did, so I went along without reservation. She fixed my makeup and did my hair, and out the door we went. We drove to the next town about a half hour away, and this gave me the opportunity to relax a bit. I was in broad daylight, on a beautiful sunny day in California, driving my sister's little red Mazda, which made me feel great! I could see myself in the vanity mirror and I looked fabulous, I was gaining confidence. Our first stop was the K-Mart store. Needless to say, getting out of the sanctuary of the car was scary. I adjusted my purse over my shoulder and the two of us headed for the entrance. A guy was coming out and held the door for me, with a big smile. I tipped my head as I entered, not sure what he was thinking. We were inside, looking around, I couldn't see anyone paying any particular attention. My sister said, "relax and act natural", easy for her to say. She grabbed a cart and put her purse into it. I did the same and she allowed me to push it, seeing I needed a little security to hold on to. We proceeded into the store, passing through the women's section and back to the rear of the store. The Photo shop had a sale, 100 copies of your portrait for only $4.99. My first photo session. The girl running it asked if she could help "you ladies" then handed me the paperwork with a nice smile, as my sister asked about the pictures. The girl talked to me and seemed to be making no indication of my real gender. It was as if it either didn't matter, or she believed me to be the woman I appeared to be. She led me to the photo room and worked me through several poses. After about 20 minutes, we were done, she thanked us and gave us the receipt and told us when they'd be ready. We stopped in the lingerie section, where my sister took several snapshots of me holding up bras and teddies. I was getting more comfortable and confident. We then headed for the door and I was greeted with normal reactions, as I passed others and made momentary eye contact. It was great, I was passing. Our next stop, was a Chinese Restaurant, we were treated very nicely and I visited my first ladies room. It was thrilling walking into the room and seeing myself in the large mirror. I checked my lipstick and my shape, thinking to myself, not bad, I'd date me. Back at the table, my sister had the waiter take a picture of us. He asked us if we were sisters. Wow, I was flying, what a statement. My sister and I looked at eachother and she said "why yes, how did you know?" He politely said he just thought we looked a lot a like. He then left us. My sister giggled and said "see, you are doing fine," what a vote of confidence. Things went on and on like that throughout the rest of the day. That night we went to the Harbor Cocktail lounge to party right. I was now feeling a bit uneasy, but after a couple of drinks, I was moving in my seat as the band played on. I made half a dozen trips to the ladies room, and was having so much fun passing other girls on my way to the stalls and back out into the club. I never stayed around to get into their conversations, nor made much contact with them at all. I wasn't that bold or sure of myself. I'd pause at the mirror and check my hair or lipstick, but as soon as another girl came to the mirror, I was out the door. Back at the booth, the biggest surprise awaited me. I had just returned from my seventh trip to the ladies room, which was really amusing my sister, when this really handsome guy came up to our booth and looked straight at me and asked if I cared to dance. My mind went blank, I looked over at my sister, who was smiling really big, time stopped, I was swimming in confusion, when he asked again, I said okay, and slid out very lady like, got up as he held out his hand. I placed mine in his and off he led me to the floor. Fortunately, the music was up tempo and we danced apart, but he smiled and watched me so close I was losing my confidence, and thinking too much. Then my sister appeared with another guy and danced right next to us. She looked over at me and said "go girl go". and I was transported into the role I was trying to become. The song ended and a slow one started, he pulled me close and we were dancing slow. Oh my, I was swimming in thoughts, he said he liked my perfume. I blushed and had to remember to keep my mouth closed, I was awe struck. Finally the song ended and I said I needed to sit down, so he led me back to the booth. My sister got up, grabbed my hand and said we were headed for the ladies room. I followed, and once inside, she gave me a big hug and asked me how I felt. I tried to tell her I was both thrilled and confused. She said that this was enough for one night, and talked me easily into leaving. We left and went to an all night restaurant, ordered some coffee and a breakfast, which we split, and talked for hours, before heading home. I am so thankful that I can recall this event with the help of my sister and all the snapshots she took while we were out, on this most memorable occassions to me, my birthday. When I think of that day, I realize that it was indeed a birthday, I am woman, and I am having the time of my life living it. I hope all on you are having as much fun as I am, because no one person should have to share this feeling alone. Get out there girls, it's worth it.
I'm not sure if I will ever stop being the woman inside, on the outside. As for now, I am very pleased with the warmth and happiness it produces, knowing that my friends are the benifactors of this joy that I share so freely. My message to all of you is this; If you have desires bottled up inside, you are denying yourself and the world to know the individual you truly are, that shining soul, on a journey thru the physical plane sailing towards spiritual Nirvana.
