I was brought up going to Church. But I never understood who God was. I always believed in God but didn't know who He was or why He made me the way I was. When I was 10, I left because I hated going - I was being bullied at school and the same kids who hurt me at school also went to this Church.
When I was 14, I finally went to a new school where I didn't know anyone. I was so sick and tired of constantly being bullied - I never knew anything else. I was teased about my back - I have scoliosis, which is a curvature of the spine. I was bullied because I couldn't hear or speak properly. It didn't help that my social development was delayed because I couldn't hear or for the fact I wasn't diagnosed deaf until I was about 3 years old.
Anyway, at this new school, it was amazing. I went from a private Christian school to a very relaxed secular state school and the change was remarkable. I made many friends and that helped with my self esteem and social development. I loved going to school and hanging out with my friends. But with the new freedom I found, there was a downside.
I started hanging out with the wrong crowd, all much older than me. I started getting into drinking and going to pubs. I often stayed out as late as I could. Numerous other things happened which I won't go into detail about. At the same time, I met a Christian girl called Abi.
Abi was a friendly girl and helped me a lot. She tried to understand what I was going through. She put up with me so well even when I treated her badly. I couldn't understand that. Our friendship was rocky but we got through it all. Eventually the time came when she asked me if I'd like to attend a youth group meeting with her and meet some new people. I thought that would be cool so I agreed.
I didnt know it was a Christian group. But these people had something different about them and I didnt understand it.
It finally clicked. They were part of a Church. Now with my experience of Churches and Christian people, I wasnt sure what to think. But they related to me so well and tried to help me. Finally they all started nagging me to go to Church (thanks Abi and Chris!) In the end I finally agreed to go. And so in the Spring of 1999 aged 16 I went to Church again for the first time in several years.
I absolutely loved it. People were so friendly. They smiled a lot. They talked to me and I felt human. And I knew my life was so different to theirs. I really saw the power of God in their lives and I wanted it in mine but I didn't know how. I didn't understand anything because we had no signers, and I couldnt understand words like grace, mercy, blessings. It was all so alien to me. But it was the people and the peace I found there that made me keep going. (and the jam doughnuts at the end of the meetings!!)
I carried on going for a few months, and then it was time for Stoneleigh Bible week in the Summer.
I arrived not knowing what to expect. Then I went to the first meeting, and saw a dozen deaf Christians there with a team of interpreters and at last! I saw that God was for deaf people too! I heard the Gospel so clearly for the first time and knew that God loved me so much He died for me! But I didnt give my life, not yet. It was such a step to take. But I came away with peace and joy. And I knew what I had to do.
A couple of days after I came home from camp, I was reading my Bible. I thought. "I give up!" Then I gave my life to Christ, and Jesus filled the hole and aching I had in my heart. I found such peace I'd never had before and I knew where I was going to go for eternity!
God changed my life completely straightaway. I had tried for so long to stop swearing but I couldnt. And that changed instantly. I stopped seeing the people who were negative influences on me. I stopped dirnking, and I broke up with my boyfriend. I was so much happier and knew that whatever happened, God was with me, and I knew that God had a plan for my life and that it would be exciting!
God can do the same for YOU too!
To find out how, go to my page on God's plan for salvation.
