HELIUM BOMB BASS PLAYER DIES IN BIG FUCKING FIERY ASS EXPLOSION!



Blood fire and explosions were everywhere as Helium Bomb's Bass Player Gentry drove an ice cream truck into a burning semi while going the wrong way on I-15. The Accident described by witness Chuck Fucknut as "The Coolest Thing I have ever seen in my whole fucking life", killed 30 people most of them old grannies and handicapped people "Completely adding to the wicked bad ass factor" as witness fucknut put it. Fucknut was part of a vanload full of stoners on their way to a kegger who pulled over to the side of the road to smoke a bowl and stare at all the flying glass and body parts flying through the air as the entire freeway burst into flames. Highway patrolman Lance Johnson agreed saying "After a day full of speeding tickets and annoying bitches who keep getting flat tires, it's about time we had some fucking mass carnage on this shithole freeway, I say fuck yeah!". Even Gentry's family couldn't get over how fucking cool the explosions and fire surrounding their son's death  was. "Yes, we'll miss him, and he was so young, and blah blah blah, Did you see that shit? He had flames shooting out of his skull while it was laying on the side of the road, That was some seriously bad ass shit!". Gentry's Mother Gennifer Gentry remarked. The accident occurred while on the way to practice with Helium Bomb. Gentry had just mainlined a truly frightening amount of smack, and smoked a truly heroic amount of pot when he got the munchies fucking big time. Noticing the ice cream truck in front of his apartment, he knocked the driver unconcious and took off down the road. After he had finished all of the ice cream in the truck while driving down I-15 he noticed a very large oil tanker. A tape recording from the black box found in the back of the ice cream truck rvealed that moments before his death Gentry could be heard to remark "Oh fuck yes!" followed by a jumping of the median, followed by "THIS IS GOING TO BE SO FUCKING COOL!" then a giant explosion. Helium Bomb members had different reactions to the news, Lead Singer Mike Jones eulogized his bandmate saying "He may have only come to one practice** but at least caused a really big fucking explosion!" Ex Helium Bomb Guitarist Nate Owens was less sympathetic saying "Why the fuck did he get a cool death, I actually played at a show and I got fucking stabbed to death by Bryan the security guard, What the fuck is that shit about?! Fuck you helium bomb". The death is the latest in a long string of tragedy's for helium bomb. Past deaths have included the brutal double Homicide of Guitarist Joey Baker and Daniel the Bass player Dude. The tragic Compton death of Bass player Mat Hockett. The Midget/Acid-Related police shootout in hobbitsville of Guitar Player Dick Casper, and the murder of Guitar Player Nate Owens by Helium Bomb Security Guard Bryan Held. Former Helium Bomb Guitar player Mike Crane, who was never officially killed off was tapped as a replacement for Gentry, (Helium Bomb's current guitarist Zach Walizer will move to bass). In Celebration, a keg was tapped by Mike Crane, and dranken.