Why I Wear Pants By Mike Jones

If i had my choice I would not wear pants. Walking around with my big cock flopping around, saying hi to every hot woman I saw. But no, society dick-tates that I must wear pants. And I suppose they have their finer points. After all, living in Utah, it gets real damn cold. I might complain more if I moved to Arizona. Perhaps, I will, and make a protest. I suppose you are judging me as a pervert for my wish not to wear my pants. That is because you are among the masses, who have been brain washed by the society controlled by cold New York City, and self conscious Los Angeles. But what about the southern United States? In my opinion, this is just the civil war not quite resolved. It gets fucking hot down there! Do you think they want those pants on keeping them all hot and sweaty and uncomfortable? Well I say, making southerners wear pants is a plot by the man! I bet if we looked back on the voting records regarding indecent exposure laws, we would find that such laws were introduced by mother fuckers from North Dakota! Some guy from Texas most likely fought against it but the rest of the south was bought up by the christian right. In fact, if you want to know why the christian right is so strong in the south? I'll answer it for you! If they own the South, they don't have to convince anyone else that wearing pants is a good thing, cause everyone else is so damn cold! They are in the wrong though, if God wanted us to wear pants, we would've been born wearing them and we wouldn't all be so horny! In my opinion it's time for the South to rise again! Drop your pants Dixie! Show them Yanks that you are free from their oppression! Take a stand against society! If not for me, for George W. You know he's into that shit.