HELIUM
BOMB GUITARIST PROVIDES "NEVER SAY NO TO A BOWL" DRUG
EDUCATION TO SCHOOL KIDS
Those humanitarians
of Helium Bomb were at it again last Friday at Morningside
Elementary where Helium Bomb Guitarist Dick Casper gave a speech
to young children behind the swing set at recess.
"I thought the DARE program and other such
drug education programs didn't really hit on important issues
that will be effecting these kids in their teen years, I just
wanted to help". In addition to showing the kids the proper
way to take a bong rip, Dick also demonstrated proper joint
rolling techniques, and Munchie Do's and Don'ts. But the main
message of the speech was "Never say No to a bowl".
"It's important never to turn down a bowl, I mean, just last
week, Mike and Gentry were over after band practice and they had
a nice bowl of this kind ass weed, but I was all drunk and burned
out and shit and had a drug test the next morning so I told them
no thanks, then it turns out, I turned on the TV, and what did I
see? Elmo doing the "Happy dance" on Sesame Street
followed by the Teletubbies. Then I turn on VH1 and it's Pink
Floyd Night, I can't tell you how many times I kicked my own ass
for turning down that bowl". Dick explained to the children.
One child asked Dick if drugs were really bad like teacher and
mommy said. To which dick replied "Well, I'd say, stay away
from heroin and crack until your at least 29, and don't do meth
unless your house is getting dirty, but otherwise, teacher's a
stupid bitch". Helium Bomb drummer was on hand passing out
his beeper number, attached to a pamphlet called "Wanna Get
High" along with a free sample of Stoned Wheat thins with a
little smiling cartoon dog saying "If you want these to
taste like candy, call Jason the Happy Weed Guy". The kids
all seemed impress, 
3rd Grader Dylan
Richardson was quoted as saying "I wanna go hang out with my
big brother now!". Little Annie Jackson got the message as
well. "Dick says if I want to look like Ally McBeal and have
boys respect me, I should start smoking lots of pot and putting
out now, Thanks dick!". Yes, Thanks Dick, once again, you've
shown how Helium Bomb is helping to make this a better world.
"I thought the DARE program and other such
drug education programs didn't really hit on important issues
that will be effecting these kids in their teen years, I just
wanted to help". In addition to showing the kids the proper
way to take a bong rip, Dick also demonstrated proper joint
rolling techniques, and Munchie Do's and Don'ts. But the main
message of the speech was "Never say No to a bowl".
"It's important never to turn down a bowl, I mean, just last
week, Mike and Gentry were over after band practice and they had
a nice bowl of this kind ass weed, but I was all drunk and burned
out and shit and had a drug test the next morning so I told them
no thanks, then it turns out, I turned on the TV, and what did I
see? Elmo doing the "Happy dance" on Sesame Street
followed by the Teletubbies. Then I turn on VH1 and it's Pink
Floyd Night, I can't tell you how many times I kicked my own ass
for turning down that bowl". Dick explained to the children.
One child asked Dick if drugs were really bad like teacher and
mommy said. To which dick replied "Well, I'd say, stay away
from heroin and crack until your at least 29, and don't do meth
unless your house is getting dirty, but otherwise, teacher's a
stupid bitch". Helium Bomb drummer was on hand passing out
his beeper number, attached to a pamphlet called "Wanna Get
High" along with a free sample of Stoned Wheat thins with a
little smiling cartoon dog saying "If you want these to
taste like candy, call Jason the Happy Weed Guy". The kids
all seemed impress, 
3rd Grader Dylan
Richardson was quoted as saying "I wanna go hang out with my
big brother now!". Little Annie Jackson got the message as
well. "Dick says if I want to look like Ally McBeal and have
boys respect me, I should start smoking lots of pot and putting
out now, Thanks dick!". Yes, Thanks Dick, once again, you've
shown how Helium Bomb is helping to make this a better world.