The Vandals

(a concerto review by Jason)

11/4/00

"What the fuck is X96 doing at a Vandals show?" I ask myself as we pull up and see the big ugly icon of shitty corprate radio sitting on the side of the street. WHY? Do they play the Vandals? No. Do they play punk? No. Do they play shit like Limp Bizket and Disturbed? Yes. Do people that listen to Rollin' and Stupify listen to Anarchy Burger? I sure as fuck hope not. The drivers response when I asked him why X96 was at a Vandals show? "I just drive the truck where I'm told." Fuck X96. Now that I have that out of my system. VANDALS! We had to wait out in the fucking cold forever. The line wrapped all the way around Bricks, I noticed there were allot of idiots in the line, I saw allot of people that looked more like they were going to a rave than a Vandals show, but they were quickly shadowed by the large mohawks and kids that look like they should be at a Vandals show. We get in after the first band was done playing, and right after the Ataris had taken the stage. Allot of my friends had seen the Ataris live before and most of them had great things to say. So I got close and expected a kick ass band. I was wrong, the first thing that came to mind when I saw the Ataris was MXPX. They sounded like them, they acted like them (except for the occasional fuck) and just like MXPX there were plenty of pretty boys and 12 year old girls in the crowd screaming their lungs out and talking about how hot the lead singer was. I don't know about anyone else that was there, but I thought the Ataris were absolute shit. They did have a couple good songs that I found myself getting in to, but for the most part they sucked. The Ataris wrapped up and I prepared for the Vandals. I started squeezing through the crowd to get to the front, when I finally did the first guy I met complimented me on my NOFX shirt. We talked for a bit and then the lights dimmed. A godlike voice sounded over the PA. Wesley Willis. "lick a camels ass, lick a mooses dick, suck my doggys cock, suck a hunting badgers ass" "suck a race horses booty hole, suck a snow leapords ass, suck a moutain goats dick, suck my doberman pinchers cock" The first song the Vandals played was Behind the Music. It kicked ass, they went on to play all the hits, My Girlfriends Dead, Cafe 405, Oi to the World, Mohawk Town, Anarchy Burger, etc. I even got to sing "but then one day she dumped me" when they were playing My Girlfriends Dead. Twards the end, they turned the mic over to Warren and he danced/played I Have A Date. At one point, he climbed to the top of the main PA and jumped off, falling on his ass. He then ran up and down the front of the stage, letting people touch his ass. It was great. I just about passed out after the song because it seemed like whenever I would take a breath, all I would get was hot air with no oxygen. It kicked ass. The Vandals show was easily the best concert I have been to in a LONG time! Its great to go to a show in this day in age where there is no barrier between you and the band, people are running around all over the stage and you can literally touch the band you are so close. I would give this concert an 8/10, and I will DEFINATELY be going to the next Vandals show.... I think a quote from Wesley Willis's song Suck My Dogs Dick sums the concert up best......

"suck a cliff springers dick, suck a llamas balls, suck a jackass's dick, suck a buffalo's ass fucking jerk!" yeah....