A french fry named Bob
You know... french fries have really got it hard. Bob was one of the lucky ones.
Bob and his friends were, as little tykes, growed by Bill the farmer as potatoes in the ground.
They loved it there. But soon Bill the farmer thought they were getting too big and it was about time for them to move on. So as Bill the farmer has always done, he gave the "its time to explore the world" talk to his beloved children.
They seemed to understand. So Bill the farmer picked them and said his goodbyes. And then Bill the farmer found a nice company to sell his lovely children to. (Kind of like the black market only not) This company was owned by the big man Bert.
The big man Bert was all sweet towards Bill the farmer but after Bill the farmer was gone he got mean. He made the poor potatoes watch as thir friends were shredded up into hash, tator tots, french fries, and smashed. Then Bob was made into a french fry. Believe it or not it didn't hurt so bad.
Bob was scared and soon he was put into a stuffy plastic bag to suffocate.
Before he could suffocate he froze. He chould still see though. Lewy the Lousy Salesman drove the truck Bob was in.
Lewy the Lousy Salesman managed to find a school stupid enough to buy fries from him. Apollo high School, go figure, damn principal abducted by aliens, eating hamburgers.
Anyways, Lewly the Lousy Salesman unloaded the frozen fries. The sweet old lunch lady, who turned out to be not so sweet, threw Bob into a very large deepfryer. Where he burned and got all crunchy.
So this lunch lady, she's all huffy and puffy.. Jeanette was her name..
So Jeanette is all like "Blah hm ha blah these fries are only worth $.25 so lets jack up those prices way high" So she starts torturing Bob and his friends, she put salt on them!
Jeanette the lunch lady was indeed cruel. Before Bob knows it he's landed on a lunch tray. So along comes Kelsey O. Baby, and she's all "Oh holy hell I'm hungry!"
So Kelsey O. Baby takes the tray Bob is on and sits down at a table with her wonderful friends (I being one of them). Well Kelsey O. Baby eats all the fries but Bob... She forgets all about Bob.... he was hiding under the uneaten pizza.
Next thing Bob knew he was falling into the garbage. Bob was then knocked out by a falling milk carton!
When Bob next opened his eyes he saw a very dirty-unshaven man giving him the elevator look..
This dirty unshaven man talked softly to Bob... Then he wasyelling at Bob "Hell no you dirty bitch!" Poor Bobs ears, he'd never heard such foul language. The dirty unshaven man threw Bob back into the garbage. Bob sooner or later ended up in a landfill. Mr. Chang the seagull was flying around one day...
all hungry. When he saw Bob! Oh yum... So he ate Bob...
Poor Bob.. So Bob gets digested and shit out. Lands on a garden... And Bob shall live again!
November 22, 20001
To the cave Batman!