Horratio the hippopotomus has had a birthday on Monday.

Like all hippopotomus’ he didn’t know if he should have said "like all hippopotomii".

Horratio liked Birthdays.

He knew there would be a big birthday cake,

lots of friends to play games with,

and balloons and presents gallore!

He specially liked Fairy Bread,

mini frankfurters,

and party pies and pasties.

Horratio was a particularly greedy

fat slob.

Nonetheless Harratio was looking forward to his birthday,

and couldn’t wait for the big treat his mum would bake,

and the big presents he would get.

If he was lucky he might even get a card from his Auntie.

Horratio liked nothing better than parties,

games with friends,

and birthday cards in the mail.

Horratio was also turning 32 years old,

and he wasn’t big on realism.

So that night Horratio stayed back late at work, missed the ferry on the way home,

and had to pay $30 for a taxi.

When he got home There was no cards in his letterbox, no presents or birthday cake waiting for him,

and no friends to play with.

They didn’t even phone him.

Don’t worry Horratio you can spend the next 2 hours on the internet

thinking you have a life

and pretending those picture you are downloading are your wife and kids.

What’s more you can do all this whilst getting soddingly lonely.

Then you even can go to bed without your tea,

if you want to.

Isn’t that a great Idea?

If Horratio doesn’t committed suicide in the meantime then I am sure he will have many other adventures to tell you about next week.

Isn’t that right Horratio?

(load bang on desk)