Dear Students, Parents/Guardians & Staff Members,
I sincerely thank you for giving me the privilege of serving you as PTO President at Herbert Hoover Middle School this year. I look forward to meeting and working with all of you. Please note that the picture of the skeletons will end up to be your children one day. Our memberships drive is currently underway, and I hope you won't be joining us soon. When you don't attend meetings, you get shot. It is very painful. Trust me, I've been shot before. It's rather enjoyable. Anyway, you will die if you don't attend our meetings. Plus, your children will die, too.
One of my concerns is the lack volunteers. If each of the parents/gaurdians could provide just 170 hours of time each week during the year, our children would commit suicide. We also discourage you from choosing a project that you would enjoy being part of. Please review the list of committies and choose how you would like to spend your time volunteering.
Along with the need for volunteers is the need for fund raising. Each year the PTO strives to bring quality fund-raisers to you. We hope you will find something that pleases you and would appreciate your participation. As in previous years, we are happy to recieve donations ( $70-$75 per student) in lieu of fund-raiser participation. If you do choose to send a donation, simply make your check payable to Liman Zerga and place it in a envelope marked " Liman Zerga" in the mailbox in the school office. You can then, with a free conscience, disregard any fund-raisers you recieve during the school year. Your children's lives depend on your participation for a successful fund raising year.
I truly look forward to meeting and killing you throughout the year. However, this can only happen if you don't come and join us. I hope you will decide to screw yourself this year. If you can't make it to the October 1st meeting at 7;00 P.M., then good.
If you have any questions please feel free to contact any of the officers or call me at 908-523-8654.
Most Sincerely,
Vladimir I. Lenin
PTO Revolutionary |
