Brandon Coryell 4/11/2003 Page 1

Can parents be “TOO PROTECTIVE” or “OVERLY PROTECTIVE” of their Teenager or child?

Many parents ask this question and in response many answer “You can never be too protective of your children.” Many believe that this is a correct response, But I would like you to reconsider your response. I believe that being too protective of your children can and may possibly affect how they grow into adults and lead their lives. One issue I would like to address is how children learn to deal with the problems and overcome the challenges of our society today.

As Children grow up in this society they need to be able to learn for themselves and to learn from their mistakes. Remember children today have many new and different challenges to deal with, than what their parents had to deal with when they were children. Therefore there are some things parents can’t teach their children. Parents who are “OVERLY” protective don’t allow these children to learn for themselves, or even to think for themselves. In many cases the children learn to rely on their parents for everything, including responsibility. If a child cannot learn to have responsibility then they will not be able to accept when they are wrong, learn from their mistakes, and change how they behave to avoid later conflict.

Many parents feel that by keeping their children close, they are protecting them. More and more children are deprived of the outside world and its influences, therefore they cannot learn to adapt to these Influences. There are many problems with outside influences but there are even more good influences out there. As a child grows up they will run into positive and negative influences. These influences are unavoidable and a child will most definitely run into one or more of these no matter how hard parents try to protect their children. Influences such as Drugs, Sex, Alcohol, Cigarettes are a few of the negatives. However, there are also positives to the same situation. Children will learn to be on time, how to stay away from trouble, how to communicate better with people, how to be efficient, how to build trust, and most importantly, self discipline. As a child grows up they will need these tools to get through life, but if the child never gets a chance to learn these abilities and/or exercise them they, will not know how to use these tools efficiently when they become adults. Keep in mind that children can only learn from experience, and from their friends and family’s mistakes. Everyone knows that just because parents tell their child something is good or bad, or right or wrong, doesn’t mean that they are going to listen. As some of us know, when we ourselves as children, had to see what it was like to put our fingers in the power outlet, or pull a hot cup of coffee on ourselves. There was always a lesson to learn from our choices. As with many of us we learned not to put our fingers in the outlet again, and to listen to mommy and daddy’s warnings about that hot cup of coffee on the table.

Brandon Coryell 4/11/2003 Page 2

This is where allowing your children to gain trust and learn to adapt to the world comes in. If you never allow your children to go beyond what you control they will never learn to deal with these influences on their own, and this can be harder for them in when they reach Adulthood. Think of it this way, would you rather have your child make a mistake or wrongful choice while under your care or after they have left the home and there are much serious consequences to deal with. You must also remember the younger a child learns the better they learn to use their new found knowledge, and to practice using the tools they have picked up.

You must Always Remember that Even the Smallest choices that you make can Effect how you child Grows up and learns to deal with the world. You should always think about how you raise your child. Put yourself in your child’s position and try to understand how they feel and think in certain situations. And keep in mind, though you are the parent, doesn’t mean you are always right, maybe most of the time but not always. Try to keep an open mind, and understand that your children can teach you things as well as you teach them things.

Part of growing older is learning from others and how they deal with the world, and we will never stop growing older. Therefore it is never too late too learn something new.

-Brandon Coryell