New resident of Florida G. Wortham, intently searching for more alligators in every pond, lake, creek and ditch has expressed sincere disappointment in what can only be labeled an extreme lack of reptiles.
His efforts have become resigned and even bitter."Sure the lizard is a reptile, but geez" He reportedly said at a recent evening meal.
Bolstered by an early sighting including a surprise of a "biggun" by the Lake Wales driving testing station and a 2 1/2 foot cutie on a local bike path, Mr. Wortham's hope were sky high. "After seeing the first two I thought, Wow, I've hit the jackpot, I figured there was no limit as to what I could expect! but 2 months later, I have yet to see another gator."
Recent statements have shown that while some hope springs eternal, his attitude has taken a turn for the worse. He now blames the entire state of Florida for misrepresentation as the Gator state. "Lizard state maybe, but that's not a gator. They advertise this as some sort of gator epicenter when it turns out to be fairly uninhabited by anything over a gecko or chameleon."
` Attempts by loved ones to coax Gregg into attractions like Gatorland, Gator City, and even Gatorama have been met with cynicism "those places are for chumps" so says Gregg, who only seems interested in seeing them in the wild.
While he perks up around any body of water, he appears dejected overall.
No one seems to understand why seeing alligators is so important to Gregg or even why he is drawn to them. However they know only too well the pain of seeing the light of hope across his face only to be driven away by the realization that he had not sighted a gator.
"If only he could choose something which shows itself more often like the lizards that scoot around everywhere, or the snow egrets, or a bug" says his exasperated wife Molly,"But only gators will do for Gregory and so his hopes continue to be dashed"
"Is it so much to ask," says Gregg plaintively, "To see a gator once and a while?"
We can assume that possibly it is not much to ask, but the question as goes unanswered, that the HIA will keep our readers posted on any further development.
New
Florida Resident
Disappointed
by
State's
Sore Lack of Alligators
by Molly Wortham
