HiddenTearss...
don't cry out loud just keep it inside learn how to hide your feelings
Song playing: Celine Dion&Barbara Streisand(classic) // tell him
THE INFOS
Nom, prénom:Garcia Lefebvre, Lianna-Maria
Pays Philippines/CanaDa
Existence 16 years
♥ hamza...
Loc Montreal / St-Low
swiit_flirt8@hotmail.com ««
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2 octobre, 2004 @ 10:46pm
¿Por qué usted es tan complicado? ¡Regrese por favor a mí bebé. el fallo ..yo usted tanto usted no puede imaginarse! ¿Por qué me salió usted? ¡Hago no understan! Es la clase de bebé loco, yo me siento todavía su beso. Usted lo hizo vacía a mí que usted no era hacia abajo para mí pero ahora veo. ¿Cómo puede hacer usted esto a mí? Yo les dí mi amor, el corazón y el alma completos. ¿Cómo usted acaba de olvidar acerca de mí? ¡Yo no era suficiente bueno para usted... =(
Thoughts on September 21st,2004 @ 9:59pm
I haven't been on this site for a long time now! daMN, i just can't imagine how much i wrote about my ex, that badly LOL. but anyhow, i know deep inside when i wrote it, it really meant something 2 me... i didn't write it because i felt sad and lonely, no, i wrote these kind of things because this was what i was feeling every single day. Anyways, everything is so different now. I just don't bother thinking about boys anymore. It's just a waste of time and energie. whatEver...
Thoughts on June 5th,2004 @ 10:38am
I've never regret anything that i've done in the past. If i did something, it was somehow just meant to be. I can't change the past, but i can change the futur. I did finally move on, i don't know if it's love or if it's just a crush. But i think of him everyday, everytime. But anyway... these days, boys dont really matter to me anymore. You loose more than u gain. It just brings you pain and suffering. I know this becos of my personnal experiences. Anyway i have to go now since i am going to the movies with melissa at 12. chiao (K) hihih -XoXo- P.S HAPPYNESS has come back, ever since you went away. That's a sign that we weren't meant to be together.
Thoughts on May 29th,2004 @ 7:58pm
It's so hard to forget about someone that you truely loved. I might of made the biggest mistake of my life by breaking up with him, even though i was still in love with him. But i did it because i knew it wasn't working and if i didn't do anything about it, i would be hurting myself even more. I want so badly to move on... but i can't. My heart somehow just doesn't want to give up. I got to admit that i do miss him. My friend told me to talk to him and tell him how i feel. but is that really going to make a BIG difference? no, becos anyhow he HATES me badly right now and i bet he always will. Meaby he's already in love with someone else, i would look like such a fool. anyway i don't believe in love anymore.. MIKEY was just like the other guys. I was wrong to say that he was different. He did like all the others before him. He played me and fooled me too; played and fooled me to think that he loved me. but all he wanted is to make out once and that`s it. If i wasn't a shy person, i would tell him everything that i feel right now. Becos i have so much to say. But im such a screw up person, i always mess up everything. Everyday i pray and wisper to god, pray and ask forgiveness for my selfish and unthoughful actions. I know i hurt mikey like a million times, but i never meant to do all those bad things. I write all these poems and songs for him, and when i sing to GOD at church, i sing it also for mikey becos he is the only one i love and always will(after God of course...) BUT IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON. [ The hardest part of life
Thoughts on May 11th,2004 @ 9:27pm
« I pray to God I will never forget who u are. You mean everything to me.I love you and i always will. You were in my dreams before I even knew there was a you and me. Now I can't wait to see you smile, when I wake up each day, it makes it worth while. With the kind of love you planned inside, especially with a heart so empty as mine... »
All the soft tenderness is the one thing that I don't wanna miss. I prayed to God that it was time for me to say good-bye. I'll never forget lookin in your eyes. I prayed that I feel your touch and that God doesn't forget our love. I pray when I close my eyes, I can still see visions of you on my mind. I pray that I see myself in another life, without you by my side. Everything that you've given to me(love) only comes in a fantasy. It seems like life goes so fast but in this life I wanna make it last.I hate that we live to die but only God knows why. We all have a purpose and to see you again will be worth it. I wish that I could stop time. I wish that I could rewind to the very beginning of every second of my life to ask God on my hands and knees to never let me forget all my special memories. See I'm only promised today And if its my time to go. I don't want the love of my life to ever fade away. So one last time let me open my eyes to see, what my life used to be like....
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Sunday November 2nd, 2003 @ 7:23pm
I see the couples all walking by, i dont feel like being alone today. i am so glad no one can see what i hide deep inside, how it feels to be me. I'm never going to kiss the right guy. i still most definetly have to learn what is the true meaning about love. My friends all seems to have the love of their life, how about me? When will it be me? When will i be the one somebody's dreaming of? ...I know that i am worthy of what i've been wishing for the past months but i dont know if your the right boy for me. All that i know is that i am falling back again in love with u, i cant deny it. Lately i find, that i am cut up in this, how are u going to come to me? how are we going to reconnect these hearts? Are u somewhere near? Are u miles away? Are we getting any closer?..Being with u is like a scene of a dream in heaven, i feel u running threw. Will u taste like rain? Can i breath u like air ? Will i lose myself in your arms, somewhere?.....i got to think about all this, i dont know what i am feeling right now, but its crowded...{{ xoxoxo ChIkItA*
Vendredi, le 17 octobre 2003 @ 9:46
je suis fukin` fatiguer pis jecris ici au lieu de dormir! pis je c pas pkoi lautre il me fait tropppp chier! mais je crois ke jai pris ma decision peut-etre je devrais chercher kelkun dautre pcq jai attendu trop longtemps pour kil puisse me redemander a sortir...alors oublie. mais je ne veux pas sortir avec nimporte ki, pcq je suis pas comme sa.....tout ce ke je veux c un gars ki ne se FACHE pas pour de rien. en tout ka....!!!{{ x0x0x0, chikita*
Samedi, le 11 octobre 2003 @ 6:16pm
damnnn ca fait trop longtemps que jai pas ecrit ici..shiet lundi :S..en tout ka pour le cross contry je sui troppppp facher pcq je suis arriver 5eme au cross country de lecole pis au regionnal je suis arriver 36(c kand mm correct avec 9min et 47 sec).. mais c la vie! mais c chienn pcq demain je peux pas sortir a cause ke ma mere ma punit pcq jai crier apres ma soeur la mais ellle esttttttt tropp conne elle detruit ma chambre pis genre je venais juste de le nettoyer putain..ok ouais! QUELQU'UN ME MANQUE TROPP, PIS TU PEUX PASS IMAGINER! {{ x0x0x0, lily =)
Lundi, le 6 octobre 2003 @ 7:22pm
aujourdhui, jetars pas mal en retard pour lecole, lol..pis lah javais francais de merde, on a rien foutu so cetais fuktup. apres javais math, pis JAI PASSER MON EXAMEN AVEC UN GROS 69%! =) je suis trop fiere de ma note, je croyais tellement que j'allais couler a mort la mais no! so chuis full contente. pis la jai eu histoire pis morale, pis jai juste nieser pendant ses cours meme pas travailler; later javais ma pratique de soccer.. qui etais pas mall cool. ahhh c chiennn demain on a le CROSSSSSSS COUNTRY!!! J'espere que jarrive pas dans les derniers sinon je suis foutu..parce que sa coompte dans le bultin. pis le pire c ke je cours a 11h25 ou 45 je sais po mais apeu pres cette heure :s putainnnnnnn je deteste le cross country!!!!! je deteste pas trop courir mais pour 10 min la sans arreter lo c exagerrer!..hhehe okk ouaisje crois ke je vais arreter sa ici....[ by the way JE ME SENS SEULE =(
Jeudi, le 25 Septembre 2003 @ 8:26pm
awwww...cetais chill aujourdhui, g vu mon bb =). jtaime [x0x], pis c ca. cetais un peu plate pcq javais un examen de math ki etais full dure(ok ouais, je suis sure ke tasnia est en train de lire pis kel pense yarkk cetais ben facile =P ), Entout ca, apres ca javais ma pratique de basket; pis jai pogner une crampe dans ma jambe...cetais chien pcq je doivais kand meme courir pis faire des suicides...pis c ca ma journner =P [ i lovvvveeeee u baby, je pense tjr a toi =P
Saturday September 13,2003 @ 10:22am
i just woke up 5 mins ago and i decided to write my thoughts of last night instead of today. i dint have much time to updated this. anyways, this past week, i realised something. « "that you never realise what you have until it`s gone" » gosh, i think i regret breaking up with him. he was the best boyfriend i had ever have. he was nice and thoughtful. and he always knew how to make me smile =). not like the others, who din't even care if i died. geez, am i stupid or just crazy? if i knew i was going to be incomplete like this, i wouldn`t have broke up. i bet we would still be togheter, 4 months. but noooh, stupid liana had to break his heart, even through she was breaking hers in the same time. even if i had the chance with him again, "nothing is going to be the same" and you guys know that i am right. okk..well i guess i am going to stop this here and updated this l8ter..
My life is fukked!
Saturday September 6th,2003 @ 10:14pm
[i dont like talking in french so yeh, screw this!]; anyways today i dint do anything, 0!, NADA. I woke up around 9am, ate and went on the computer. hours past, and it was so boring, so i decided to watch tv and i fell asleep. no1 woke me up for supper so i slept till' 7. yups, like a baby =). arRg, i cant believe its almost sunday =(..gosh i have school monday again! i want to go to school but, i am not thrilled to wake up early and WORK -_- . Well at least i am getting education; learning. Some kids in the world doesn't even have that. i don't get it, theres these people in my school, who dont even care a bit about their grades; their futur; their education. gosh, then what's the point of going to school? smoke ur joint ?..we dont need criminal master minds drug dealers in our school. if u arent satistfied, then dont waste ur parents money. they work hard to support u and ur siblings. and u do nothing in return, only get in trouble...i am not naming anyone, for their sake and their reputation. RACISM. What about racism? People who judge and insults other people nationnality, race or religion. We live in one world, filled with diverse ethnics. u cannot change that fact. if you dont like a person just because their from africa or from asia, well excuse me, you got a major problem, because in montreal, your going to see alot of them. Just keep ur racist thoughts to yourself, because no one wants to hear them...anyways i am not writting these things to pass a morale, i'm just trying to make a difference in this world.
Thursday August 28,2003 @ 3:50pm
(From this day on, i am going to be writing in french in the journal section ONLY)
Si tu vois des [*] dans le texte ci-dessous, c'est parce que je ne veux pas dire le nom de la personne. Désoler.
- miiis fl1rty* » ...so sad but true, for me theres only u. <= tout le monde, qui m'ont dans leur liste de MSN MESSENGER, se demande depuis quelques temps, pourquoi je suis devenu aussi triste ou encore, moins souriante qu'avant. c'est simple: quelqu'un m'a briser le coeur. Je ne me suis pas fait rejectée, ne t'en fait pas. Je ne me suis pas fait plaquée non plus. okk je vais vous dire l'histoire. »» La premiere fois qu'il m'a embrassé..=( J'ai toujours pensé qu'il* m'aimait. ben c'est ça qu'es qu'il me disait...peut-être que je ne suis pas consciente de ce qui arrive autour de moi. ca se peut. mais tout les choses qu'il* m'a fait subir, c'est innoubliable. tout le temps qu'il* m'a fait chier. tout le monde me disait qu'il faisait que m'utiliser et qu'il ne m'aimait pas. mais je ne pouvais pas supporter la vérité. moi, mon problème c'est que je ne sais pas qu'est-ce que je veux. je ne peux jamais me décider. c'est pour cela qu'à chaque fois qu'un gars me demande à sortir, je dis toute suite non pour le pousser loin de moi, pour que je puisse décider si je veux ou je ne veux pas sortir avec lui. mais je viens de réaliser que je ne pourrais jamais pogner des gars de cette façon. personne me comprends, c'est pour ca. J'avoue que je devrais profiter un peu. mais c'est pas ça qu'es ce que je veux. Je ne sors pas avec les gars juste pour profité de lui puis la passer a un autre la. si j'aime le gars beaucoup et lui il m'aime aussi de la même façon, je vais surement sortir avec lui. Comme tout le monde, j'ai des défauts. Je ne suis surtout pas parfaite.
TO BE CONTINUE/ *This part is actually not going to be updated because it's the past and i guess i have to move on, i cant live my life like this.
Thursday August 28,2003 @ 08:48am
(sorry i dint post any entries last night and the day before that)...well last night i went to school, and i am in the class of tasnia =)..so yeh it was great seeing my old friends. i wasnt thrilled to wake up early but i guess it was worth it. i had fun too ;)..so yeh, i guess you people are wondering why i am up so early. well i had to pass melissa my shoes bcos she has school today and whatever.. and i have to get ready becos i have to go get her around 9h50-10h. so i will come back to update this post in the night..oki? chiao =P
Comes from the hearrrt<3..hidden tearss
title: Grl in your dreams
I was walking down the street one day, then i saw you and i dint know what to say. Your eyes was shinning, your smile was kind. But when i saw you, i wanted u to be mine. »» Meaby i dont have the blond hair u like or meaby i dont have eyes like sky. And now i am not sure, u find the grl in your dreams. But i can show u what love means.// One day, u came and talk to me. And u said we were meant to be. I was happy, everything was so nice. but then i find out that everything was a lie =(... How could u do this to me. you said we are meant to be! you showed me how to cry :@..//
monday August 25th,2003 @ 12:45am
Countdown: 2 days before school starts!
I appologies for not writing a entrie early today, lol. i actually dont have much to say. This is what i did today. i woke up early because my sister was making so much noise (she has school; she's in college =P). so yeh, i decided to go on the computer for awhile but i realised that i hadn't cleaned my room yet :S..so i got off the computer and cleaned my room. then i just remembered that i haven't put tags on my binders and put my stuff in my bag. so after a hour or so, i finished with that. then melissa called my house so that i can go to her place to watch "how to loose a guy in 10 days" because she just bought it in dvd. so yeh, i wasnt going to lose a perfect opportunity =P..because i dint see the beggining of the movie, only the end...then after melissa teached me how to play "Bullshiet (its a card game). it was really fun but we changed the game a lil bit. we changed the name..now its "BULLSHIET&LYAH", lol. i know you people think we are weird and loosers but yeh i guess thats life, LOL. anyways, then i went back home to watch my show, THE OC & Paradise HOTEL. then i went back to sleep and woke up, i dunno why, meaby because of a nightmare and then i went on the computer, i guess this is all =)
Sunday August 24,2003 @ 9:21pm
Countdown: 3 days before school starts!
I dint do much today. i went to church with my mom at 11..and then i stayed home the whole day, hoping someone will call me to go somewhere. but, no one did. its ok, i wasn't feeling good anyways. However, i dint bored myself at home. i did a layout for tasnia and fix a lil bit her site. and i listened to music and chat. Gosh, i just realised how much i wrote last night, LOL! ALOT!..anyways, i just recently watched freaky friday and how to deal. and i got to say, i really LIKED IT! and i also saw Freddy vs Jason. well i saw it August 14th at 10pm with my brother, faycal and melissa. we came back around 1am and i was soo tiired that i couldn't even stand up! i dont even remember what i was doing. i wasn't drunk or high, don't worry. just that, i havn't sleept good that past week. okkkiii well i guess this is it, i am kind of running out of wordss..and i dont want u guys to be bored..=P xoox }}} liana ] [ i finish writting this at 9:33pm ;) ]
Saturday August 23rd, 2003 @ 9:09pm
Countdown: 4 days before school starts!
This summer's been..different i guess. not what i expect to happen but still super duper fun =). a lot of friendships got tested..a lot of drama. it made me kind of sad to think that things will never be the saem again no matter how hard i try. but i am strong and independant, things can only get better..i hope. some people actually thinks we were close. not naming any names but that was a stupid thought. and honestly, what they did doesen't really affect me. what they think doesn't affect me. so they can put whatever crap they want to on their webpage and i'm stll not gonna give a fuck. and btw it was not a big arguement. psh. i dont care. your not important anyway. i learned who my REAL friends are. and knowing they care is enough for me to move on. but its always hard when you've known someone for that long. people say a friendship can only get stronger after a fight. but i kno its not entirely true. i am going to be real now. no more faking, no more lies and no more hiding. this year, i'm going to be myself no matter what it takes. and i'm not going to pretend anymore. lost friend. gained friend. i learned about myself. i haf new experiences. life will always go on.
ok well today i went walking at the park and it was freaking hot around 2-3. then when i came back and it was sooo cold. so i decided to go to melissa's place. we watch an old movie in dvd 60 minutes. then i came back home. so yeh, thats my day i guess. oh yeah, when i went shopping last night i saw these cute hats! =) i want them! but my mom told me that i dont even wear my hats and that i only put them in display in my room =(..but i guess she's right :P
Friday August 22nd, 2003 @ 9:19pm
Countdown: 5 days before school starts! sorry if i dint write last night. i hurt my neck when i went to laronde thursday afternoon and i cant seem to move, lol. so yeh, i guess i am feeling better now but i am soo tired! i just came back from shopping at the mall.(and i saw Stephanie C. ;P) i went early in the morning to buy my school stuff at wallmark with my mom. then, i went with my sis and my mom to buy shoes and clothes. i both two puma shoes, one diesel black/gray shoe, a red nike bag(like rocio's!), 4 pants and few shirts. i guess i am happy of what i bought =). this is all thanks to my mom who gave me the bling bling $$ =P. anyways, i cant believe i am saying this but i cant wait to go to school! not that i want to wake up early and study! i just want to have fun, you know. hang with my friends. becos i am so bored, everyday going to the park or staying at home :S..ok well i think i am going to stop this here, i wrote too much already and i know i bored u ppl -_-
Tuesday August 19, 2003 @ 12:16 pm
8 days before school starts! i cant wait! gosh, this year is the most boring summer EVER. However, i did have fun at the beach and at laronde in july. i got to admit that its better then to study and go to school =S. anyways, i am going to laronde tomorow with melissa, my brother, faycal, marouane and jonas. we're going early and coming back late too. so i dont think i am going to updated this tomorow. hopefully i will finish this site before school starts.
Love is Blind ♥
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