This is my poetry and lyrics
DISCLAIMER: This page will probably piss some people off and I seriously don't care but I'd thought I would at least warn everyone ahead of time. That way if you decide you don't wanna go on don't! Seriously, the reason I say this is that The poems are mostly about myself and how much of an idiot I can be...so there you go...and I hope I don't offend anyone too damn much, but like I said this I really don't care it's how I felt at the time I wrote and I will never be sorry for the way I feel....so with that I leave you to your own devices!! Enjoy or hate which ever you feel the need!
You Make Me
You make me think
you make me laugh
you make me smile
you make me crazy
you've turned my world upside down and I don't care
so beautiful and you don't even know it
since when does a guy like me
get a chance with someone like you
you can't even understand
how I feel
I barely know you
and yet I have a hard time being without you
believe me when I say this
it's like I'm starting again
with a new life
and you are the center of my world
you make want to scream
you make me want to love
you make me feel alive
you make me want to live
Nights Alone
Where to go? what to do
strange things happen, no one knows why
it's weird to think
about these nights, these nights alone
How do you spend them? what do you do?
A person can sit on their ass and ponder eternity
on those nights alone
Why not go out, have a little fun
or question humanity, on those nights alone
sometimes it's better to spend those nights alone
one can experience a new reality
or maybe use the phone
is it too much for just a break from the monotony
maybe a change of scenery
to keep from the looney bin
it's these lonely nights
that you think of lost friends
or maybe past lovers that got away
sometimes a person just wants to keep from choking on apathy
on those nights alone
Dear Love
I guess it's easy for you
to always be perfect
to know no faults
and never be wrong
well guess what honey
you're wrong sweetheart
you give up too easy
it's always to hard for you
to fix them and make them better
well guess what sweet princess
your moment has come
how much better do you feel?
is it grand?
is it fun?
you call me immature
a cheat
a coward
a liar
two I am
two I'm not
a cheat & coward admittedly yes
I made a mistake
a liar & immature these I'm not
I never lied to you
just got too scared to lose you
but you could never understand that, could you?
as for immature
isn't that like the pot calling the kettle black?
I never wanted you back dearheart
only a friend
an aquaintance
something, not the nothing that we are
but you couldn't accept that
apology denied
giving up is easy
it's much harder to forgive
maybe you should think on that
intsead of trying to prove
how much better you are
I never guessed that before
I always looked passed the exterior
and saw what was inside
but others were right
you're a judgemental bitch
I'm sorry, a snob
A Life That Is, A Life That Was
Torn between a life that is
and a life that was
who's to say wether one is better
than the other
do you go head long into the future?
or focus hard on the past?
the future holds dreams & failures yet to come
the past holds dreams & failures to relieve
the life that is holds what I need
the life that was holds what I want
what to choose?
where to go?
answers I can't find
answers lost somewhere in space and time
I rack my brain and still I sit
not going anywhere
am I destined to question everything?
or is there an answer?
the life that is I think holds the answer
or was it that life that was?
So Alone
Do you think I'll ever say
I love you again?
or ever mean it quite as fierce
as I did?
or will I just grow old
by myself?
and be loved
by no one
I haven't felt so alone
or felt so deprived
in all of my years
so why's this have to be
the way for me?
if there's an answer
why can't I find it?
or is it right here
staring me in the face
and I can't see it?
Past
It's as if a ghost is haunting me
a ghost that loves to watch me fall
in it's eyes I am always wrong
in it's I can do nothing right
this ghost it sees what I cannot
this ghost it sees what I am not
shadowing me endlessly
this ghost gets pleasure from my anguish
in the shell that once was me
I hide & hide & hide
scared to come out to face
that fear that I once loved
to look into it's eyes
I see what once was mine
but now forever lost
in the sands of time
this ghost is always haunting me
it looks for my mistakes
it's eyes that pierced once beautifully
now instill just fear
someday maybe I'll face my ghost
but for now I think I'll hide
or runaway from it's piercing eyes
that somehow I think
I can never hide
Inside My Head
You wouldn't believe me
If I told you
the words I wanted to say
they never make much sense
except inside my head
I guess I'll never accept the fact
that you are gone for good
but maybe if I wish some more
my dreams could come true
I've always though I was wishing
on the wrong star up above
but in my head it always works
not so in the real world though
so I guess my question is this
where to go from here
to look ahead
to look behind
I guess the answers dead
too bad for me
I'll sit around depressed
and wonder why it never works
inside this brain of mine
but here we go again it seems
to be the same routine
I guess I'll never sort it out
upstairs it's always wrong
Go On
Been thinking all day
'bout what you said
you said to go on
to go on with my life
without you, that is
but my problem is this
I don't wanna be without you by my side
I'm afraid to be alone
and it hurts me to know
that you love another
and yet I know it's better
probably for both
but at least for you
Night & Showers
Darkness gathers
rainclouds form
lovers huddle
against each other's sides
full moon is out
I look above
the night brings stars
and thoughts of you
the downpour starts
tears washed away
but not the feeling
loneliness conveys
longing for you
I wonder why
our star crossed paths
have turned away
Waiting
She'll see
eventually
that I am here to stay
I am here because of her
I hope it's me
that'll take her away
from the pain & anguish of everyday
I sit & watch her everyday life
and pray to be part of it
maybe I won't
have to wait too long
it's hard to have enough patience
to be the one that she adores
I think I'd wait
until the day
until the day I die
Siren
I wonder if you'll realize
the pain and suffering you have caused
How long have we been together?
too damn long in my oppinion
why couldn't I see it before?
you hid it all too well
you've never really cared about another
just trying to feed off others
you suck him dry you know
and all he hears is your voice
telling him that he is wrong
I wish I could explain to him
at least make him see the light
but you keep on fucking him
making him believe your lies
your voice is all he lives for
even as it tears him apart
I once listened to your voice, so lovely
but realized the hate inside
you care for no one but yourself
and he...
now that is sad
he can't even function on his own
without you telling him what to do
I used to think you weren't aware
of you do to others
but you keep hurting and maming
and are never bothered
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