“6 am”
by: Allison
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI… or the song ‘Sometimes It Be That Way’
A/N: I am keeping this story PG-13, though the content may become R worthy somewhere near the middle. Thanks to the Graveshift group for all their support. Manda, I stole the ‘oh what fools...’ quote from your story. Tell me if you ever need it back… hee.
Night with its shattered teeth attempts to speak,
My pen is present but courage left via the sink…
It is six am when you pull your Tahoe into the two car garage adjacent to your home. Pale orange light has just begun to filter through the harsh night sky. You sigh… the one perk of working graveyard shift, the breath-taking sunrises. It was one of those moments, one where no one could disturb your quiet, and you savored it letting the warm light hit your face.
And I’m sorry not all my love letters did rhyme
Smiling as you open the door, your thoughts turn to the sleeping child down the hall and, the hopefully sober man in your bed.
And I’m sorry Jesus died for my sins… I swear to God it
won’t happen again.
Keys clatter against the dining room table, preserving a ritual that has lasted throughout your years as a graveyard CSI. The coffee pot seems to mock you as you pass the kitchen. You know it would keep you up long enough for you to be able to see your daughter off to school, a rare occasion indeed, but sleep is taking over and you want nothing more than to fall into bed.
Oh well, Sometimes it be that way.
Her room is next to your own, and you crack the door open, peeking in to check on her as you do most mornings. Bright eyes peek out from under the sheets, catching you in the act.
“Hey baby,” you say opening the door and stepping inside.
“Mommy!” the six year old cried as she sat upright in bed.
He said ”Sweetheart I don’t think you quite understand.”
And I’m sorry I had to explain it like this
I’m sorry I was a point you were destined to miss.
“Lindsey, you didn’t have to get up early for me.”
“I wanted to see you Mommy. I never see you before school, just daddy.”
You see the hope in her eyes, a hope you once held yourself. Tucking a stray strand of golden blonde hair back behind her ear you place your arms around her as she crawls into your lap. She’s a tiny glimmer of hope in a world filled with tragedy, the reason you get yourself out of bed every morning.
Down in the hollow by the old olive tree.
“What if…you stay here while I get in the shower? Then I’ll make you breakfast and we can spend the rest of the morning, until you go to school, together?
Lindsey’s eyes lit up and she topples the both of you onto the soft blankets as she throws her arms around your neck.
“Can we go to the zoo too? When I get home? Pleaasse?”
“We sure can baby.”
Now you wished more than ever you had given into the temptation of coffee.
And I am sorry if my heart breaking ruined you day,
Oh well, sometimes it be that way.
Climbing off of you, she rushes you off of the bed, towards the door.
“All right, all right. I get the picture. I am going.”
Jumping off of the bed, Lindsey once again pushed you in the direction of the doorway. Laughing inwardly you exit, ‘hopefully the shower will wake me up a bit’ you joke to yourself, knowing you have a long day ahead of you.
This love was a bell that rang unheard in the air
I was bound to find out that you didn’t care
Oh well, sometimes it bee that way.
Twisting the handle on the door to your room you prayed Eddie was asleep; or at least sober. Things weren’t quite so bad if the man had his wits about him.
Kissed Neptune, they put her face on a stamp.
And I am sorry I used I to mail a letter to you
I’m sorry I’m the glue and the rest bounces off of you
A loud thud came from inside the room followed by footsteps, as you prepared to enter. Your curiosity peaked you throw it open, the knob slamming against the back wall.
Tears flood your eyes; shirtless Eddie attempting to push a tall young brunette woman into the closet. Wine glasses on the table, lingerie thrown on the floor, comforter half off of the bed.
‘Oh, what fools we mortals be’, you whisper to yourself. Cursing yourself for your stupidity.
Could get across these simple things
“Catherine this isn’t what it looks like.”
“I find another woman—half naked in my home, and you say ‘It’s not what it looks like?!’ You sure have done your fair share of stupid things, but this definitely tops them all.”
“So maybe it is what it looks like, but Catherine, you weren’t supposed to be back for another half an hour,” he retorted.
“And to think I thought you would be happy about that. How stupid of me.”
It takes all of your will to remain civil, or at least some semblance of civil. You do not wish to appear the bitch in your own home, especially not with your daughter in the next room.
Oh well, sometimes it be that way.
“Eddie, maybe I had better go…you two talk things out,” the brunette said, hastily gathering up her things and leaving.
“What’s her name Eddie?”
“Why?”
“I have right to know who has been in our home.”
“Her name is Melanie, and its my house Catherine…my blood, sweat, and hard work.”
“Yea right,” you roll your eyes at him knowing full well who paid most of the bills. “That’s why I am the one pulling double shifts, massive overtime, and have no time for our daughter.”
“As if I believe that bald face lie. Yea you work overtime—at a townhouse near the strip, with your bugman.”
I said “Oh, well. I got nothing left to sell”
This love was a bell that rang unheard in the air.
I was bound to find out that you didn’t care
Oh well, sometimes it be that way.
“Grissom has nothing to do with this Eddie.”
“Like hell it doesn’t! I think a number of people know that you two have been fuck buddies for quite some time now.” His anger escalated and he lunges towards you causing you both to topple onto the ground.
And shadows long fingers they dance on the wall
Electricity chases its tail in the hall
And I am sorry my arms to you are just empty rooms
I’m sorry I could never comfort you.
“Damnit Ed. Get Off!”
“Tell me! Tell me you slept with him Catherine. I know you did!” he was yelling now, pushing your shoulders down into the floor. Through the pain you wondered how the events had twisted themselves in his favor. You had started out as the accuser and now you’ve become the accused.
“I did not, and have not slept with Gil Grissom!”
“Shut up. To hell with all your fucking lies, I know you did. The way you look at him, and the way he fucking stares back at you. I’ll be damned if you weren’t screwing him BEFORE we were married.”
Lindsey was listening to this. You knew she was. She always was. You shut your eyes and pray she doesn’t venture out of her room.
And I am sorry St. Petersburg is such a miserable town
And I am sorry if I am bringing you down
And I am sorry if it was my love that rained on your
parade
Oh well, sometimes it be that way.
You lose the will to fight his
advances, and he continues his crazed ranting, knocking you around. Ten minutes
later, he stood angrily next to the bed; you stay seated on the floor, back
against the wall and cradling an injured wrist.
“Bastard,” you mutter under your
breath.
“Whore,” he yells back at you.
“Broken down, has been, white trash whore. That’s all you are, and that’s all
you will ever be.”
Rolling onto your stomach, you struggle to push yourself onto your
knees. He launches after you once again, and you scramble through the doorway
and into the hall. But Eddie is quicker than you remember him to be. He grabs
your ankle and once again you lay in pain on the floor.
Night has many hands,
but I have just one.
And I’m sorry I walked
in on you unexpectedly
Sorry I never served
you chamomile tea
“Mommy?”
No, not now. Stay in your room
please….
“Mommy!” she rushes to your side as if protecting you somehow. You wish
she wasn’t there, even though you knew she was your best, and only defense
against Eddies’ violence.
He stopped. Never in his life
would he hit his little girl. Never.
“Linds, when did you wake up? It’s early.” Letting his angry expression
drop from his face, replacing it with one of concern.
“I wanted to be with mommy.” She hugs you even more tightly. “What
happened?”
“Linds, let’s go
get your things, we’re leaving.”
That could start a
fire big enough for your heart to catch
And I am sorry if my
swerve tempted you to sway
Oh well, yea sometimes
it be that way
Sitting on Lindsey’s bed, you
instruct her on what to bring. She glances back at you questioningly only
partially aware of what is going on.
You want out. As fast you can. You
know this would go faster if you were able to pack for her but the pain leaves
you stuck on the bed, your injured wrist lying limply in your lap. Eddie looms
in the doorway panting hard. Blood drips down his face from a gash on his
cheek. It almost looks as if he’s favoring his left side a little. You did more
damage than you had originally surmised.
“You ready hun?” Lindsey is your
shield, and you hold her out defiantly, peeking out from behind only
occasionally.
This love was a bell
that rang unheard in the air.
I was bound to find
out that you didn’t care
Oh well, sometimes it
be that way.
Limping, you brush past him.
“This isn’t over Cath…”
But you knew it was.
The pale orange light had turned to
a bright yellow as you slid into the drivers’ seat of the Tahoe. Lindsey sat
next to you, clasping her bag and favorite stuffed animal. No mother/daughter
breakfast, no zoo today. Yet another promise broken. One more burn to add to
the multitude of ones you already had.
Having no place in particular
destination in mind, you steer your car
thoughtlessly in the direction of a condo outside the strip. A haven
with butterflies in glass cases, and experiments in the fridge. A place where you could rest, let your scars
begin to fade; where a man you affectionately labeled bugman lay in wait to
keep you safe.
And I’m sorry if it
was my love that rained on your parade
And I’m sorry if I was
game you didn’t always want to play
And I’m sorry if I
ever caused you pain.
Sorry if my swerve
tempted you to sway…
Sometimes it be that
way.
Yea sometimes it be
that way…
The End