A: Because they kept saying: "Bach, Bach, Bach"
Q: What do you get when you throw a tuba down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor.
~"We're in a heavy metal band."
~"Me too, man, my sousaphone's gotta weigh like 40 pounds."
Trombone Kama Sutra: Doing it in seven positions.
Q: Why is a conductor like a condom?
A: It's safter with one, but more fun without.
There are 3 kinds of musicians...
Ones who can count, and ones who can't.
Q: What is the definition of an accidental?
A: A wrong note.
~"How are my tempo and pitch?"
~"Long time, no 'C'."
Q: How can you tell a kid on a playground is a trombonist's kid?
A: He can't swing and he complains about the slide.
A band was playing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony in a park one afternoon, and it was so windy that the musicians had to tie their music to the stands. When the tubas finished playing their part in the first movement, they decided, since they had two movements of rests, to sneak off to the pub across the street. So they sat in the pub, downed a few, and listened to the orchestra. When they heard the pickups to their part they threw their money on the counter and stumbled into the street. They could barely keep from falling over as they ran to pick up their tubas, but even worse, they couldn't untie the music. They pulled and tugged, but the string was so tight that they fell over from the effort. Just then, the conductor looked back and thought, "Oh lord...it's the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded!"
Q: How is music like walking down the middle of the street?
A: If you don't C# you'll Bb!