-"You see there where it says 'Agitato'. Play it more agitatoer."
-"Quarter notes: they look like this, they get this many, and when the beat's moving fast, so do they."
-"Have you ever played golf? Well, playing an instrument is a lot like playing golf."
-"Academic balance is like a good hamburger."
-"They say filing papers is very therapeutic."
-"I've come to the conclusion that when I spit, I must be hungry."
-"Yeah, what if I am an asshole?"
-"You are an extraordinary musician and very committed to the band program and you have done a lot of extra work. I'm very proud of you and I really hope you continue this." (he was talking about me. ^-^ I'm special! Ok, not really...just a teacher's pet and a band geek...)
-"Now right there, it isn't 'WE wish', it's 'we WISH'. Understand the difference?"
-"Cha-guh-guh-guh, cha-guh-guh-guh, halt, up, down."
-"This band is made up of some talented men, women, and man-boys!"
-"I was all excited. You know I had my glove on, I was going over the pass, it was very sunny. Then when I got there, THE COURSE WAS FROZEN! I called every country club and golf resort near Ellensburg and the only one that wasn't frozen was in Tri-Cities. I was not about to drive another 50 or so miles just to go golfing, so I ended up going to a band teacher convention."
-"Geesh, Clarinets are anal."
-"Come on, hold those heavy Flutes up." (and people want to know why I switched to Piccolo...)
-"Do you all know what a fermata is?"
-"Look at the weather outside. What do you think I should be doing?" (class: "golfing...") "Yes, exactly, but I'm just so devoted to you guys that I'm here, and not out there." (awwww, we love you too Mr. Johnson! hahaha)
-"Caress the baritone..."
-"I tend to be colorblind when it comes to blacks, dark blues, and dark greens. Have you ever noticed that sometimes my socks don't match? That's why you'll see me, sometimes, tug at my pants like this *shows us* before I sit down because there are just some mornings where I'm not sure, but only because I get dressed in the dark. I don't want to wake up my wife or kids. (class: "we haven't noticed...") "Well, pay more attention next time."
-"You guys will never be waitresses. You'll be all like 'Oh...oh...oops...sorry Sir, I'm just a wimp.'"
-"To make him be louder, you have to blow harder." (he was talkin about my flute...I named it Jim, sounds kinda wrong without the explanation...)
-"I told them to duck, then I ran out the door."
-"Doggone it!"
-"Right on!"
-"Watch it, or I'll make you into a Baritone player..."
-"Come on you guys, gimme some lovin'!"
-"Play it as if you were touching a hot skillet. You know, you don't stick your whole hand in there, you just quickly touch it with your fingertips..."
-"Tenor saxaphones can't multi-task...but they'll live longer, less stress."
-"You have to roll step. It'll help you improve your golf swing."
-"Air, baby! Air!"
-"Look at the ceiling...no really. Look." *we all look* "Well, now that I got you to shut up, what were you all talking about?"
-"My bright and gifted class." (I laugh at this...)