To: DNC@DNC.com

From: DevilTriggered_Dante@DNC.com

Yo' babe!

So I'm stuck in this harem thing, and I can't seem to get my ass outta it. Funny, you think there'd be chicks all over the place.. but this is a guy harem... most freaky.

The few chicks that are here are pains in my ass. I mean, it's not every day that I get shot down by a pretty lady... Man, they're bitches... 'specially that little blonde chick that runs the place... Although I like her musical tastes... she's too hung up on that one guy... wassisname... Beddy... Birdy... Naw, that ain't it...

I dunno... it could be worse. Hell, I mean a lot worse. I could be stuck under Mundus... Now that would seriously suck to be his bed buddy...

Eh, might as well make the best of it... That other silver haired guy's pretty cool... we mosh sometimes and it can get ugly, but he's cool. He's the chick's babe... or so it seems. He'll put his head in her lap and just lay there as she pets him...

God, seems like he's treated like a dog, not a man...

If he likes it, then I guess I'm cool. I mean, he told me that chick will warm up with time. She's just annoyed at the moment because things keep going wrong...

Evidently she founded this harem for the sole purpose of helping people like him... Ya'know, abused by fangirls, and guys even... He's been here since she founded this place...

He said he had walked in hell and lived... after being around him, I kinda believe it...

Anyway, babe, I ought to go... Seems the chick wants to talk to me. 'bout what I've no clue. I've been good since I got here... well, as good as a handsome devil like me can be...

Um... And by the way, never pinch her ass... you might get punched across the room.

Happy Axing!