Life of a Phoenix - Chapter 20 - Masho of Malice and not quite unwelcome feelings

Notes:
Yori: armor
chi: japanese notion of life force. I believe it can also be spelt ki.
Youkai: Demon
Masho: Demon General. Using 'Youkai' before though I think makes a better statment of being a higher demon. Maybe, maybe not, but it's my story, neh?
Yoriden: Mystical Armor

The song that Aryun sings is called Long Distance from Final Fantasy: Pray
Lyric translation as follows:

At the far reaches of darkness
The limits where light does not reach,
Now, too, alone,
Continuing a solitary journey

On this disintegrating star,
Hearts of steel
Informing us of this single parting--
Faster than light.
It climbs upstream in the flow of time.

A star was born
And, by and by, knew death;
And then, alone,
A hand reaches out forever.

Colder than despair
In the midst of deep darkness,
A blue planet was born
And shed it's light silently.

Erdric watched a shuddering Aryun flee from the wing, one hand to her face, the other clutching a pendant. He leaned wearily against Thanatos' shoulder and closed his eyes.

I should go after her, his heart murmured. She wasn't happy at all. Hell, if I was just told the man, my father who I've always hated, that he cared, that he tried to help . . . I'd not be happy at all.

He sighed and shook his head slightly. Erdric felt Thanatos squeeze his shoulder and picked up the softly whispered words.

"Go after her if you'd like. You're less of a threat than anyone else to her at the moment."

Erdric blinked. "Huh?"

"You're less of a threat. She knows you on some level and by her reactions, cares. You are likely the one she won't decapitate upon site."

Erdric looked at him wryly. "She dropped her sword, Thanatos."

Thanatos looked sheepish for a moment. "Well, just go after her. I wouldn't want anyone else to meet up with her in that condition. Just a fair warning: Watch out for her right hook." He winked at Erdric and gently gave a push.

Erdric stumbled lightly, but then shook Nara and Mara off his arms and smiled. "Just need some air, and I won't get it here." He wrapped both sisters in a hug and, after picking up Aryun's sword, walked through the door.

A young man paused in his walk around the halls. He tilted his head and cinnamon colored hair spilled over his bare shoulder. The light struck him and he laughed silently at the night that was fast approaching.

The black leather seemed to absorb most of the light, shining it off the golden embroidery at the upturned collar. The slim and tapered vest that only buckled thrice just under his ribcage, flaunted his slenderness.

The black leather pants seemed painted on and were tightly laced across his groin, laying low upon his hips. Two belts hung from either hip for sheer decoration, as well as three smaller belts that adorned his left thigh.

High soft black boots completed an ensemble that was fit for a dominatrix, minus the spikes.

His long hair was perfectly brushed back, and two strips were neatly braided on either side of his face and sporting black feathers and silver beads.

The face was narrow, feral in its presentation. The long sharp nose was regal, and his slanted eyes gleamed a perfect slate color.

"Feh. The woman is singing . . . again. I wonder who tried to kill her this time!" He paused mid-step, considering something. "Wait, when did she get back?" His eyebrows furrowed and he thought. Snapping his fingers, he continued upon his way, following the smooth, soft voice to its source.

His boots made no noise upon the marble hall, and again he grinned. The life of a ninja wasn't easy, but it did come with benefits! He shook his head, still smiling as he remembered the old yori he wore. It was broken now, but he still kept the orb in memory. After all, it swirled with his chi.

Long slender fingers rose and brushed his braid behind his ear. Swiftly, he pressed his back against the wall, leaning over the corner. His eyes widened slightly as he took in her slender frame shivering in the biting wind from the windows. Tears shimmered upon her soft cheek as he watched. His chest gave a quick squeeze when he finally realized what she had sung.

His slate eyes widened slightly as she turned. She had no sword. She'd never go unarmed, his mind reasoned.

With much stealth, he slipped over the corner and stepped nearly beside her as she finished her song.

Aryun closed her eyes as the last note trailed off into the post twilight. Her arms wrapped around her chest and she shivered again as the soft wind blew ice into her veins.

"A lovely song, Aryun, but why something so sad? Is your hand reaching out forever? Are you truly alone and colder than despair? No, I do not think so as this woman in front of me is warm." He chuckled slightly as she started at his words. "Feh. Then again, you were always a silly woman."

Aryun's eyes went wide as she spun around, hands raising instinctively, then felt immensely silly when she saw who it was. "Youkai, what are you doing here?"

The cinnamon haired man rocked back on his feet. "You mean to tell me I can't walk where I wish?"

"Not while I'm here!" The snarl in her voice booked no room for argument.

"Well, I'll have you know Tyral let me out."

Aryun's voice was scathing in its humor. "Really? I didn't know Tyral let mangy dogs loose from their leashes."

The slate colored eyes narrowed. "I am not a mangy dog. I'll have you know, I was once the son of a shogun, and attained such a title myself. I was feared throughout the lands. They all knew my name."

Aryun snorted and looked at him. "Oh, you mean your human name, not the youkai one. Oh well, their loss, my gain I suppose. Although what I've gained is anyone's guess."

The green-blue eyes narrowed further. "Oh, I'd say you've gained a ninja, a freak who likes to tie people up in chains, and who has the absolute, and frightening, feeling of utter love for your bodyguard. I'd think that'd be enough."

She turned blue eyes to him. "So you do like the Parrde?"

Cerith sighed and turned to look out the window. "Yes, and on that, I won't lie."

Amusement leaked into Aryun's haunted eyes. "You mean you do lie? Wow, that's a shock. I mean you're such a paragon of truth!"

It was Cerith's turn to smile slightly. "Oh yes! A venerable saint I've been. Seriously though, I do like your bodyguard."

Aryun nodded. "Aa. Lethe told me as much. Said you like to follow him, be his shadow."

"Yes . . ." Cerith sighed and shook his head. "Sorry, I should be my sarcastic, mean spirited, bad tempered, and irritated self, but I just don't feel up to it."

"Me either."

"So, who tried to kill you? As lovely as that song was, I doubt you sang it just for fun."

Aryun raked her hand through her hair. "No, not for fun." She paused and turned slightly. "What do you think of KimVay?"

"Your father?" He arched a cinnabar eyebrow. "Well, he can be arrogant, rude, mean, cruel at times, but he does his job very well. Why do you ask?"

Aryun hesitated. "I mean, about how he interacts with people."

Cerith though, his brows furrowing. "He's . . . cool towards people. He never shows any emotion other than hate and anger. Although, with your mother he was different, well, so says Thanatos."

She paused, looking out the window. "So he wasn't always this way?"

"No. I don't think anyone could be that cold hearted and still live. Though my former Master was like that . . . then again, he was full demon. He was expected to be that way. I hated him none the less."

"Yes, that man was a true credit to the word heartless." Aryun laughed slightly. "He told me he never hated me. He also said that he cared, that he helped me when he could. I . . ." she paused, confused. "I don't know what to think about him any more."

Cerith looked at her, understanding dawning in his slate colored eyes. Slowly, awkwardly even, he placed his scarred hand upon her shoulder. "What are you feeling now?"

"Confused. Very, very confused, bewildered, puzzled, confounded, perplexed, mystified - "

"Ok, Aryun. Enough. I get the gist. But how do you feel about him?"

"I . . . don't know. I used to do anything to get his attention. I thought maybe I would have a place where I wouldn't want, and where I wouldn't be hurt anymore. That seemed a lie to me because he brushed me off, or so I thought."

"KimVay always seemed like a man of many faces. Easy to deceive someone."

"My mother . . . she always said that . . . I was created from love, and that means I'm special, that I am more than what my parents would ever achieve. She also said that . . . I may not like some of his qualities, but I should remember that he loved her enough to give her me. I often wondered if he ever loved her at all." She rested her elbows upon the rail and placed her head in slender, sculpted hands.

"If your mother stated that she loved you, Aryun, then she did. If she stated that he loved her, then he did. It's the end of conversation. Your mother wasn't one to lie to anyone, as far as I understand. With her power, she had no reason to lie." Cerith stood next to her, his hand gently gripping her shoulder. "Aryun, come on. You don't need this problem amongst all that's happening."

Aryun started to laugh bitterly. "Oh, it just gets better, my dear youkai."

Cerith's face pulled into puzzlement. Briefly, he wondered when he just became a person to her rather than a demon. "Why do you say that?"

"Because, I've a young man who I am supposed to merge with, and I don't know what the hell to think about him. I don't know how to act. Cerith, I touched him and wasn't afraid when he touched me. How in the hell do I take that? How?"

"Do you care for him?"

"Yes, that's why I turned away from that fight. Did you know that he stepped up to Thanatos? That they were in a Wizard Duel?"

"No," he drew out the word into a long sound. "I didn't know that, but I did hear the swords ringing. I didn't think anything of it as Tyral has a sword, as well as you, KimVay, and Ashi."

Aryun nodded her head miserably. "Yes, they do, and yes, he did."

"Wait a moment. Do you think that's why Tyral sent you to that little world? That he knew something would happen to you there?"

She raised her head. "Perhaps. Tyral does many things for me."

"Maybe you were meant to meet this young man."

"He is Chosen."

Cerith's eyes widened at that. "You mean Lucreana's kid?"

"The very same."

He let out a low whistle. "From what I understand, the kid's pretty powerful. And he's not the type of person you want to wound."

Aryun nodded again. "Agreed. He let all qualms drop once Thanatos cut his cheek up."

"Um . . . why did they fight?"

"Something to do with someone being protected. I'm not sure."

Cerith sighed. "Well, do I get to meet this kid?"

"I . . . don't know. Like I said, I'm not sure how to handle the situation. I feel things that I'm sure I'm not supposed to feel. I can't express them, but they're there."

"So you like him?"

Aryun looked out into the newly fallen night, and then tilted her head to look at the stars. "Yeah, I think I do, Cerith. May the gods have pity on me, I think I do."

Erdric had wobbled over to a wall as soon as he left the room containing Thanatos and his companions. Absently, he conjured a soft white shirt to cover his partial nudity. He closed his eyes, not believing his lack of control. Smashing a fist to the cold stone, Erdric cussed a blue streak.

"I can not believe I lost control so easily. I can't do that. I shouldn't do that."

But he cut you first! It was self-defense, dummy! a little voice berated him inside his head.

"But I should not have lost control!" He was seething at himself.

Rage has to come out sometime, Cathaoir.

"But not in front of people! Not against people!" His slender hand gripped the hilt of Aryun's sword painfully tight. "It doesn't matter anyway. I lost my temper, and I'll deal with it."

The little voice snorted. Oh yes, Cathaoir. Be the big, brave warrior, and not the hurt, scarred boy you are. You're entitled to a little anger.

"Not when it can easily overpower my sensibilities!"

Then let it out! Don't keep it locked away! It's only a danger to yourself when you do that. You just can't lock away emotions, Cathaoir.

A resigned sigh. "I know I can't. Just leave me be about it."

All right, but it's your fault if you loose it again.

"I can't help what happened, and I don't want to hear anymore about it."

He opened his eyes and started to walk down the halls.

Erdric's mind reeled with thoughts of Celia and Aryun. Each one was seemingly comparing each other.

Celia's dark blue eyes watched him in sorrow. She wouldn't want him to mourn forever, would she? No, she wouldn't. He shook his head and saw Aryun's delicately shaped face. His whole body tingled at that small, gentle touch of her hand on his. Awkward didn't quite fit that situation. It was something deeper, something more uncontrolled within.

He sighed as he continued down the hallway.

She was delicate, lithe and strong where Celia was soft, pliant and utterly womanly. Sure, both were fighters, but Celia, well she was something entirely different than Aryun, and he found himself thanking any god for that.

He stopped his painful limp and leaned his temple against the cool stonewall. "Why this way? Why her? Why now?" He closed his eyes, willing his thoughts to go away. "Why in the Nine Hells do I feel as if I've hurt her? Like I'm supposed to understand life and make it better?" He sighed in disgust at himself. "I love Celia, and I can't just forget her. What she did, and why she died. It was my fault. I don't want anyone else. I never did." He shook his head as the little voice came back, calling him a liar.

He opened his eyes slightly, glaring more at himself than anything. "All right. Fine, I'll admit to myself that I feel for her, but why the hell it's her is beyond me." He shook his head and started to walk again.

Erdric paused as he heard a deep, throaty male voice.

"But, Aryun. That can't be such a bad thing, can it?"

"It can. Things can change and things can fail. What if I do relent? What if I do tell him?" There was a pause. "No, I cannot. Not yet."

"Aryun." The throaty voice was a warning growl.

"Cerith." Her answering growl was the same.

Limping, Erdric continued upon his way and leaned upon the corner, watching them.

Aryun sighed and turned her face away. "So you think the truth is required and not ignoring the fact?"

"Yes, but you'll do what you wish first and foremost anyway. So what I say doesn't matter." The long cinnamon hair fluttered in the soft breeze.

Aryun sighed again, resting her head in her hands. "Life is just so freaking confusing!"

The red-haired man threw his head back and laughed. "Aryun, if life isn't, there's something wrong."

She raised her head, smiling slightly at him. "When you're right, you're right. Must be that youkai sense of smell."

"Feh. Not likely, woman."

"So I'm back to 'woman' now that all the comforting and good advice is dispensed?"

"Of course," Cerith quipped as he bowed from his waist. "Wouldn't have it any other way. 'Sides, I'm awkward with comforting."

Aryun laughed lightly. "Perhaps, but perhaps not. Maybe Ashitare can teach you a thing or two. He's pretty good when it comes to comforting someone."

Cerith wrapped his right hand across his chest while his left hand cupped his chin. "Perhaps, perhaps. I really wouldn't want to get into a position where I would kiss him." His smile was enigmatic. "Besides, I think someone is here to speak with you." He stepped back, slouching against the wall.

Aryun spun around, her bright blue eyes wide in the soft starlight. "Erdric! What . . . why did you come after me?"

Erdric held out her sword, hilt first to her. "You dropped something I wouldn't want to leave lying around."

Her blue eyes locked with his sea green. "I . . . Thank you, Erdric."

He smiled gently. "You seemed a little upset. Thanatos thought I should see how you feel as he said you wouldn't decapitate me. Although I wonder now that you have your sword back, would you?"

"Decapitate you? No." Aryun watched him, a soft smile tugging at her lips as she took her sword away from him and leaned it against the wall.

"Well, I hate to be rude, but you're being ruder, Aryun. Not introducing me to the new beau."

Aryun flushed lightly. "He's not a beau. Cerith, this is Erdric Cathaoir, Prince Regent of Zenthia. Erdric, this is Cerith, Youkai Masho of Malice, Yoriden of Spite, and just plain nasty and vicious."

Cerith swept a mocking bow. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Grandson of Tyral."

Erdric inclined his head as his body was stiff. "I apologize for not returning the bow, Masho of Malice. I'm a bit . . . stiff from the fight."

Cerith arched an eyebrow, laughter dancing in his eyes. "Stiff how and where?"

Aryun flushed slightly brighter. "Cerith! Please mind your manners!"

Cerith looked at her. "'Manners'? When did you say I ever had them? Besides, I'm still that mangy dog who lost his leash, aren't I?" He winked at her before he sauntered off.

Aryun's face was still a pale shade of red. "Please, forgive his lip. He's . . . well, he prefers men and you fit his bill."

Erdric watched her, tilting his head slightly. "Are you sure that's it?" His hands shook slightly as he took in her slightly trembling form.

She closed her eyes before opening them. There was a charged pause. "Yes. That's it."

Erdric couldn't help but feel a surge of disappointment, although he could not quite fathom why it affected him. "I wish to apologize if my mood bothered you. I feel like I'm doing something wrong."

Aryun's head snapped around. "You're doing nothing wrong, Erdric. In fact, it's perfectly right, although I don't understand why you and he decided to fight."

Erdric shifted, pressing his back against the stone and winced. "I . . ." he paused, closing his eyes. "I loved someone once . . . Some people quite dear to me actually. I . . . well, he gathered them up and took them away after . . . well, I don't want to elaborate, but I get . . . irritated, irate . . . angry when I think about this incident. It was my fault it all happened."

"So it was revenge?"

"No," he said softly. "It never was. I just wished to know that she would be protected."

Aryun nodded her head, her heart aching again in that elusive pain she first felt when she saw him. "Are you satisfied with her . . . protection?"

He nodded. "I just . . . She was too young for what happened. It shouldn't have happened."

She sighed, slowly walking towards him. "For what it's worth. I'm sorry."

Erdric opened his eyes and looked at her. "I'm sorry too. Thanatos said he's hurt you. I'm sorry that you were hurt." He gave a lopsided smile. "Hey, look on the bright side. At least you do have a father."

Aryun laughed softly as she sidled up to him. "True, though I don't know what to make of him."

"But you have him." Erdric looked up at her as he was slightly slumped against the wall.

"Aa. I do." Aryun leaned forward and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "I think we have much more in common than at first glance."

Erdric had stiffened slightly, then relaxed realizing she'd never willingly hurt him. With caution, he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer as he wrapped her up.

Aryun's logical mind didn't quite catch up to her wounded feelings as she wrapped her left arm around his neck as she felt his arm close around her waist. She felt him straighten and pull her closer so that her head rested under his chin against his neck.

He was shocked that she molded herself against him, accepting his warmth. He smiled softly as he rested his cheek against her hair, the soft scent of vanilla and jasmine tickled his nose as he inhaled.

Aryun inhaled softly against his chest, her nose brushing against the soft cotton of the new white shirt. Sandalwood and myrrh mixed with the soft, earthen smell of his skin. She sighed, allowing the contact and reveling in the softness of his clothes, of his skin. His skin's warmth transferred to her, warming her from the cold wind that blew through the windows.

Erdric sighed, his grip tightening about her slender waist. Her body fit against his perfectly. A hollow held each curve, and he felt warmer than he hand in four years. His right hand rose with care, remembering how much Celia enjoyed having her hair stroked, to try and stroke her hair. His hand brushed her hair, feeling the silky softness of the strands.

Much like a mouse's fur, he thought dazedly.

Aryun leaned further into his warmth, not caring at the moment about anything. She realized belatedly that his hand was gently stroking her hair, and she nearly cried at the hesitance. Her mother always used to stroke her hair when she was upset.

"How I've missed things," she whispered softly before pulling away. "I'm sorry. I thought you might have liked a show of comfort, and I also thank you for returning it."

When she pulled away, Erdric still held a small strand of her hair. "I am sorry as well as thankful." His lips twitched and he smiled slightly. "Thank you, Lady Aryun."

She smiled softly as well before she wrapped an arm around his waist, slowly tugging him in another direction after picking up her sword in the other hand. "Let Iraina see to your soreness and slight wounds. She will be pleased to meet you."

Erdric watched her face and saw the lightened mood and smiled a little wider. "I would as well, Lady Aryun. I as well."