| The First Time I Loved Forever Author's Notes: I know I'm gonna get busted for this one. I just know it. This is a HUGE MASSIVE spoiler for Life of a Phoenix. It's massively full of angst, sorrow, and it's a tear-jerker. Just know that I'm warning you, and no, this isn't the way the story will end. Trust me, it won't end this way. *is hiding behind her fort praying no one will thrown knives at her* Well, try to enjoy it. I wrote it one night after listening to the theme song from the TV series, Beauty and the Beast. You know, Vincent and Catherine? Anyway, I hope I don't get too massively yelled at for this. I've had it sitting around for a while, and the scenes portrayed in this flashback are already written up, waiting and screaming at me to get them in the story propper. Anyway, without further adiue, my first ever song fic.*flourish* The First Time I Loved Forever. ~ Cat *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Aryun stood on the battlements of Zenthia, looking at the world with a strange detachment. The world was green, and grey with splashes of bright blue that glimmered at the sun's warmth. Strangely, Aryun didn't feel the warmth as she held something closer to her, adjusting her hold to the small parcel. The world seemed to be thriving in life even as what was left of her heart was dying. Gods! Why did it have to hurt so much? Aryun let her tears fall down her cheeks, clutching the small parcel even tighter to her chest. "Gods, Erdric, why did you leave me?" The first time I loved forever Was when you whispered my name And I knew at once you loved me For the me of who I am An image flashed before her minds eye: Erdric was leaning up against the column in the meeting hall. His arms were crossed at his chest, and his delicate face was tilted to the stars and moon that shone their radiance down upon him. He seemed infinitely sad, but peaceful as his perfect gazed rested upon the stars that never seemed to move. Aryun walked forward, hesitating to disturb his peace, but feeling that she must. Slowly, her soft silver dress fluttering around her ankles, she walked forward towards the solemn figure. Erdric heard her approach, but did nothing as her soft footfalls came to stop behind him. He didn't even bother to turn around, after all, he trusted the woman behind him, but she didn't know that. She could never know that. He sighed, continuing to look upon the stars. Aryun stopped a few inches from his slender back. He was just wearing simple clothes, a black shirt and black pants. His feet were bare as he stood in the cool night. Her heart pounded in her chest as she saw him bathed in silver light. He was beautiful by golden sunlight, but this . . . this was more, this was an angel that stood in front of her. Erdric froze when he felt a pair of slender arms wrap around his body, holding him tightly against her warmth. His hands reached out, clasping hers before he relaxed into the touch, submerging himself into her arms. His eyes closed and he leaned his head back against hers. Aryun was content to hold him, her fingers tightening upon his in silent appreciation. She sighed, running her cheek along his slender, yet strong shoulder as he laid his head back against hers. She felt him sigh before he turned around, his arms sliding around her waist to hold her against him. Erdric felt Aryun's hands gently lay against his chest, right near the part in his shirt. Her hands slid up, the slender, delicate hands curling around his shoulders. His heart constricted as he gazed upon the pale beauty in front of him. Her eyes shone with emotion, much like Celia's did. The moonlight played upon their slight forms, as Erdric moved one hand to gently caress her cheek with the backs of his fingers. A look of wonderment graced his handsome face. His blue-green eyes were soft, luminous in the starlight as he slowly bent forward, his cheek carefully brushing her own. "Aryun," he breathed softly before his lips claimed hers in a delicately chaste kiss. The first time I loved forever I cast all else aside And I bid my heart to follow Be there no more need to hide Erdric collapsed to the ground, trembling and exhausted. Tears coursed down his cold cheeks, and he was oblivious to Aryun's hands as they gently wrapped around his shivering shoulders, drawing him into her arms, seeking to warm his cold body. Aryun felt his body shuddering in her arms, his hands clutching at her back as if to reassure himself that she was there. His past had been painful, that much she realized, but she was here now. They were one now, and it didn't matter. "Erdric, you've no need to hide anything from me, for I am myself around you. I am naked, unclothed and vulnerable. We are one, and no one will separate us. Trust me, Erdric," she whispered as she brushed his hair away from his face, kissing his forehead. "Erdric Cathaoir Media Hieme, I love you, and I shall not hide, nor shall you." Aryun held him gently, brushing her fingers through his hair as he cried out pieces of his soul, mourning those who had died. "You have unclothed yourself to me, made yourself vulnerable; believe me when I say you've no need to feel exposed. There is no need for pain, secrets or things between us." And if wishes and dreams are merely for children And if love's a tale for fools I'll live the dream with you Aryun was sitting in the gardens, watching the birds flitter about, and playing in the water. There was little she could do, placed on bed-rest for a while. She was content for the most part. Erdric wasn't around as often as she liked, but she knew he was still the Lord and Regent of Zenthia, plus there was the Heaven War to attend. Faxon assaulted the tower nearly daily, and only Erdric's knowledge and strategy had saved them on numerous occasions. She felt delicate hands rest upon her shoulders, pulling her back into the warm body that was behind her. "Erdric," she breathed as he walked in front of her to kneel upon the ground with a smile, his beautiful hair falling into his handsome face. "How do you feel?" Erdric gingerly placed his fingers against her belly with a care that would dispute his performance upon the battlefield. Aryun smiled brightly, her left hand falling down to clasp over his right, as her right hand stretched out, brushing the soft, silky strands of his hair out of his face. "I am fine, Love." She sighed, closing her eyes briefly before opening them to gaze into his sea-green depths. "Is this a fools quandary? Are we right to share the love we feel?" Erdric's free hand reached out, brushing her cheek like it had several months ago. "Aryun, if this is a fools gambit, then where is our dilemma? If this is a dream, I wish to never awaken from its silken confines." Stormy blue eyes met his again. "But what if . . ." She started to cry and flung her arms around his neck, accepting his embrace. "Shh, Aryun. All is well, and all will be well." He stroked her brilliant red-gold hair that so much reminded him of a Phoenix. "I will be safe, and I will love you forever, Aryun. Do not doubt this love I feel within my breast. It thrives, hums, and is the reason that drives me on." He kissed her forehead before slipping his slender fingers beneath her chin, turning her tear-streaked visage to his compassionate gaze. "Aryun Narice KimVay . . . It is you I love, and it is you who will always own my heart. I will come back to you, I promise." Aryun clung to him, not wanting to ever let him go. She knew that he'd not return to her arms. She didn't know how, but she knew it and her heart wouldn't be quelled. She looked at him, tears running down her face before she kissed him soundly, sending him all the love and devotion that she felt for him. "Please, return some day to me . . ." she murmured against his lips. "I shall always return to you. You are my soul, my heart, and my bonded . . . I shall always return to your arms." For all my life and forever, there's a truth I will always know Aryun couldn't believe it. Her heart was dead . . . Her beloved Erdric would never return to her arms as she feared. Crystalline tears made their way down her cheeks, as she reached the altar stone that supported her heart's lifeless body. She shivered, shaking badly as she made her way closer. Her hand stretched out, the tips of the slender fingers brushing the cold armor of his gauntlet. There was no life left within. Her lips trembled as she stood next to the stone, looking down into his still, lifeless face. He seemed at peace, his face slackened as if he was just sleeping, pulling a fool's joke upon her. But no . . . T'was not so . . . "You promised you'd come back, Love. You promised." She reached over, her fingers gently brushing his hair out of his face for the last time, and the soft fingertips traced his face as if memorizing every detail. The soft, silvery scar upon his cheek seemed to glitter, mocking her as she stared through her tears. Her fingers fluttered over his lips, his closed eyes that would never again smile at her, love her. Her hand trailed lower, over the metal breastplate stained with blood until it hovered above his heart. Never again would that fierce and gentle heart beat, never again to love her, nor his people with that undying devotion. Aryun gave into the pain that was ripping her apart, and she leaned forward, brushing her lips against his, across his face in a vain attempt to wake him up, to make it a farce that he was dead. She collapsed against the altar, her slender left hand ran through his hair as she cried, her face nestling in the crook of his neck as she had times before. Many nights, even after the funeral, she'd come and sit beside his body, brushing his hair out of his face. Amazingly, his body never showed any decay, no, not a blemish marred his perfect flesh, save for the wound that took his life. Five months later, Aryun brought a visitor to Erdric's holy tomb . . . When my world divides and shatters, Your love is where I'll go Aryun still felt the tears course down her face as she felt the small parcel move. She quickly adjusted her hold, unwrapping the delicate creature that she held close to her breast. Pale sea colored eyes opened, unfocused as it gave a soft mewling cry. The delicate golden-hued hair clung close to the small skull as Aryun held the babe closer, placing the small head over her heart. Aryun held the babe close, slipping down the battlements as she cradled the newborn's body to her, crying unbearably still. "Oh gods," She choked, softly stroking the delicate wisps of hair. "You're the only piece of him I have left, little one." She brushed a kiss across the sleepy infant's forehead. "I love you so much, do you realize that, Cathaoir? You're a piece of your father, a piece of me as well. Through our love, we created you . . . He . . . he never got to see you, little one, nor to hold you, to tell you he loved you, but no matter what, you will know that your father was a just and honorable man who deserved much more than what he ever received. He deserved more than death for his loyalty . . ." She started to sob, as the little infant's eyes fluttered close, falling into a fitful sleep despite the tangible pain of its mother. She wiped a shaky hand across her eyes, before the fingers fell down to trace the child's features, so much like their father's it was nearly unbearable. She gave a trembling sigh, settling the babe closer to her chest, resting him closer to her heart as one hand gently supported the back of the babe's head. "Know, and never forget, your father loved you . . ." |