One day back in Feb/97 I was goofing around with one of those "matchmaker" sites and emailed "dh" A few hours later I got a responce back from him and he sounded simply wonderful! AND he was only 15 minutes away from me. The next day we met and the minute we saw each other we fell in love. Who knew such a handsome man would be on a matchmaker site? I thought all those guys were geeks?
On March 26, 97, we were married. Then in Oct/98 we found out by suprise that we were pregnant! We were so HAPPY! I had horrible morning sickness the first 2 months and was put in the hospital twice because of it, but my 2nd trimester was wonderful and so was my 3rd. I spent most of my pregnancy dreaming of watching my sweet baby sleep in her crib and taking her to the stores while everyone told me how sweet and beautiful she was.
On July 2,1999 with DH by my side Makenna came whimpering into the world, she was BEAUTIFUL and a identical to DH. I spent the 3 days in the hospital with her in my arms just staring at her. Everyone including the nurses commented on what a good baby she was.
Well the first night home with her was a complete hell. She cried the WHOLE night, I was sore and crying with her. The next day she was still crying and I raced her to the ER and told them something was terribly wrong. There wasn't anything wrong, but they did change her milk to Nutramigen because they said "I bet she has a milk allergy" so here I go with this so called magic formula. The formula did nothing to help her. She cried EVERY evening and night from 4pm until about 5am. I harly ever slept and worried myself sick over why I couldnt solve her crying. This lasted until she was about 3 months old, and in that time I fell into a DEEP Postpartum depression in which I was medicated for.
I truley believe that my depression was caused by her constant crying, but I know she couldnt help it. The next few months of her life, months 4-7 were alittle better, but not much. I still carried her 24/7. I would see mothers in stores with there babys cooing in there carriers and mine was screaming her head off, I was SO jealous.
Months 8-12 were probably the best because after month 12 everything went wild! She learned how to throw tatrums, bite, scream and kick, climb out of her buggy, tell me shutup, refuse her car seat and basically make my life a living hell.
We are at 16 months now and things are at their worst. Makenna makes sure everything goes her way. Dh now goes grocery shopping because I fear taking her in a store. When she doesnt get her way she will bite, scratch, kick and scream. Just last night she got mad and scratched me directly in the eye. I had to go to the ER and get it patched because it started to bleed. I never dreamed motherhood would be this way! I love her with all my heart and would die for her, but sometimes I get SO SO mad at her. I even once said to myself "why did I ever have you anyways" then I felt so guilty that I cried for an hour.
I've never dealt with such a difficult child, but at least I will be prepared for the next. IF they will be a next. BUT let me add that Makenna is SO sweet sometimes. She hugs me and kisses me and says "Oh my babe babe" Ive never been so in love. I just wish she would be a little lighter on me. Poor DH is just clueless. Makenna doesn't want anything to do with him these days.
Well thats about it!
Smiles..
Thunderstorm (Elaine) with Makenna 16 months old