1)Supersensitive

* supersensitive to their environment

*easily bothered by changes in their routine

*startle easily(you can't sneeze or cough near my kid or he'll burst into tears)

*selective tastes and definite mindsets(and are the most stubborn little babies you've ever heard tell of!)

2)"I just can't put him down"

*constantly moving

*when an infant you must hold them all the time; they won't sit in the baby seat calmly and quietly like other babies

*in your arms, on your breast, and when they crawl watch out, I couldn't put my baby down to nap during the day for the first 4mths of his life; he wouldn't let me

3)Not a self soother *usually won't take a soother

*music rarely helps

*certainly can't put him in the crib and expect him to fall asleep

*definitely cannot ferberize these babies

*"he can't relax by himself...Mother's lap is his chair, father's arms and chest his crib, mother's breasts his pacifier.

These babies are very choosy about inanimate mother substitutes, such as cuddlies and pacifiers, and often forcefully reject them."

4)Intense

*"high need babies put a lot of energy in what they do.

They cry loudly, laugh delightedly, and are quick to protest if their meals are not served on time.

Because they feel things more deeply and interact more forcefully, these babies are capable of forming deep and lasting attachments and are disturbed if these attachments are broken."

5)Wants to nurse all the time

* Ugh! I literally hurt! When they say "all the time" they mean there is maybe two mins. of the day where the kid actually lets go!

*"expect a feeding schedule to be foreign to this baby's mind-set. She will try to marathon breastfeed every two to three hours around the clock and enjoy long periods of comfort sucking".

In other words, you are their soother and they rarely let go.

6)Awakens frequently

*these darlings rarely nap--sorry!

7) Unsatisfied, unpredictable

*TOTALLY!

*forget scheduling bottles, or naptime, or....

* "As one exhausted mother put it, 'just when I think I have the game won, baby ups the ante."

8) Hyperactive, hypertonic

*this does not mean the ADHD hyperactive

*these kids always move--Always

My son will move from one end of the crib to the other several times a night.  He will lie vertically, horizontally--you name it he'll do it.

Also, he finds it hard to find the perfect position to lie in my arms while I rock him to sleep, when he finds it we are both happy.

These kids are always moving--with purpose.  ADHD move withoutpurpose.

9)Draining

*remember my spatula story?

It's true. Dh scrapes me off thefloor and dumps me in a bubble bath to revive me more often than naught.

*its like having 5 kids to take care of not one

10)Uncuddly

*this is not true for all H/N kids

Mine is supercuddly---when HE wants; which for him is often but it is a short cuddle and then he goes

11)Demanding

*very

*"Babies with high needs have high standards and have a strong personality to get what they need.

  Watch two babies raise their arms as a 'pick me up' gesture to their parents.  If parents miss the cue, the mellower baby may put his arms down and begin to satisfy himself in play.  Not so the high-need baby, who at the unacceptable thought that the parent missed his cue will howl and continue his demands until he is picked up."

*this is the trait I love the best.  Yes! I love it because you always KNOW what your kid wants and aren't left guessing like most parents are.

*The difference between a H/N baby and another baby--the h/n baby just knows how to get what he needs and wants better.

  Even though you are exhausted, you can rarely if ever say you don't know what to do to make your kid happy.

H/N kids are very intelligent and are very curious about their environment. They are tactile and visual learners.  They have to "figure out how it works and why". Usually one parent was a H/N kid when they were a baby.  I was just that kid.

Visit Dr. Sear's webpage to find more information some of the information discussed here.

HANDLING CRITICISM FOR YOUR PARENTING(p. 345 from The BabyBook by Dr. Sears)

1)Lessen your exposure

2)Be confident

3)Consider the source

4)Respect Your parents 5)Defend your child

6)Don't set yourself up

7)Use the doctor as a scapegoat