aboutme

I was born on March 17, 1982 in Watertown, NY. Yes, that means I was born a Pisces and on St. Patrick's Day. I lived in New York until September 1988, which was when my family decided to move to central Florida.

We lived in the Nowhere, FL. *Cough* I mean, we lived in Wauchula, FL, which is in the middle of nowhere. It was an ok place to grow up because there was nothing to worry about, but that also meant there was not a thing to do there as well.

In middle school I realized that I was attracted to guys, but since I lived in a small town and didn't know anyone who had these same feelings. I made myself believe that it was just a phase and that I would meet the right girl to be in a relationship with.

By the time I reached high school, I knew that this "phase" was not going away, so I pleaded with my parents to get a computer so I could get online. It was basically the only way I figured that I could meet people who had the same feelings that I did. I met several people online, in which became my tool to self-realization and acceptance.

At the end of my sophomore year of high school, I knew that I was definitely gay. I had been talking to this guy named John from Orlando. At this time he was 21 and I was 16. I had him come down to help me with my Algebra 2 since I wasn't doing too well and to also meet him. We were both very attracted to each other and he became my first boyfriend. My parent's became very suspicious of what was going on between John and I, so the next month I came out to my parents. It was a very odd summer due to all of that, but my parent's took it very well and have been totally awesome about it since. However, before the end of the summer, my relationship with John ended.

At the beginning of autumn, I met my second boyfriend, Nic. He was a year older than I, so it was someone I thought would better for me since we were very close in age and lived only 45 min away from me, compared to John who lived almost 2 hours away. After two months with Nic, our relationship came to an end. The good thing that came out of that relationship was that he helped me choose the university I would go to after high school.

Right after Thanksgiving that same year, I met my third boyfriend, Shawn. This was probably the most dramatic relationship I have ever had. The first two months were fantastic, but after that, I realized how blind and naive I really was. The first thing that should have signaled me was the fact that he lied about his age. He told me he was 24, when he was really 31. He really looked 24, but that's not the point. I forgave him for that because by this point I was "in love" with him. I never pieced together the fact that when he didn't answer his calls or wouldn't talk to me for 2 weeks, that it was because he was seeing other people. Apparently, he got around a lot and I just was too much "in love" and blind to notice anything. However, when he slept with my best friend, that's when I knew that our relationship was fake. I was depressed for weeks, but I finally put myself together again, kicked them both out of my life and moved on to better things.

I played it cool for a few months and then met my fourth boyfriend, Emiliano, in late spring of 1999. He was so sweet and so adoreable, although he didn't think highly of himself at all. He and I were the same age and I was hoping we would work out, but by mid-summer, he and I broke up because of many issues. He wasn't ready for a relationship and I had mixed feelings.

This same summer I also had feelings for my best friend, Jason, who was seeing another guy because he thought I was with someone as well. When I got up to NY and Jason realized that I was single, then he felt horrible because he wished he wasn't in the position he was in. I respected that he was in a relationship, so I didn't try to pursue him. We hung out together because we wanted to, but it made us both happy and miserable at the same time because we couldn't be together the way we really wanted to. Jason knows that I still care for him deeply in my heart no matter where he is.

Once I was back in Florida, I moved from little Wauchula to Tampa. I left high school a year early because I didn't want to be there anymore. I wanted to be somewhere that was more acceptable of my lifestyle, so I moved to Tampa to attend to University of South Florida.

My first year of college held a lot of different emotions. I was involved in a lot of drama, but also had some spectacular moments. I met some wonderful people, as well as some total losers. The dorm life was a great experience because I wouldn't know some of the people that I know now, such as Robin, Charles, or James.

Right after my first semester of college started, I met Dylan from Los Angeles. He is a nice guy and attractive no matter what anyone says, but he put me through a lot of drama that really wasn't needed. I am still mixed about what I should feel from that short lived relationship, but I learned things and I met one of my best friends, Jeff, so I guess it wasn't such a bad thing.

During my second semester, I started dating a guy from Orlando named Matt. He was and still is CRAZY! I don't mean that as spontaneous crazy, I mean that as psycho. He told me on Valentine's Day that he was had been with a guy for 5 months, so he was cheating on his boyfriend to see me and I had no clue. I am glad that he told me because I wanted out of that relationship anyway. I really can't stand when someone calls you at 3am when you have classes the next morning to make sure that you are home and not out with other people.

Right after I broke up with Matt, I met Omar. I kind of set myself up for a fall with him. He was a very attractive Puerto Rican guy. The only thing that kept us for being boyfriend status was our age gap. I was 18 and he was 34. I didn't have a problem with the age thing, but he did, although he tried not to think about. He moved from Orlando to Ft. Lauderdale, but he and I are still good friends, so that makes me happy anyway.