Episode 1

The Narrator, Peter Jones begins the story of the ‘Hitch Hikers Guide to The Galaxy’. He tells us that the book is more popular that just about any other book even written. There are two main reasons for this. The first is that it is slightly cheaper than it’s nearest rival (The Encyclopaedia Galactica), and secondly that it has the words Don’t Panic inscribed in large friendly letters on the cover.

He explains that this story is told from the perspective of some those whose lives the book has affected.... we then see a scene with a man in his dressing gown (Arthur Dent), opening his curtains to see a bulldozer advancing to knock his house down!

Arthur Dent cannot, by any stretch of the imagination, be considered cool. He’s is about six foot tall and barking mad that a lot of demolition geezers are about to demolish his home! Arthur, being English and middle class, does what anyone in his situation would do.  

He lies in front of the bulldozer! Arthur is not the cleverest of people. It seems that the planning permission to build a bypass directly through Arthur's front garden was granted without Arthur's knowledge. Arthur continues his protest by lying in the path of the bulldozer.

The head builder tries to talk Arthur out of this futile activity when Arthur's best buddy Ford Prefect pops over for a visit. Ford is much more of a cool geezer, probably because he is not actually from Earth as everyone thinks, but from a small planet ‘somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse’.   With some urgency, Ford attempts to get Arthur to leave his protest and accompany him to the pub!

Ford urgently tries to explain that he has something desperately important that needs to be said in the pub (Red Lion) and it needs to be said now! Arthur objects but Ford Prefect eventually persuades Arthur to go for a pint or three in the Red Lion.  Ford Prefect is a researcher of the Hitch Hikers Guide and was stranded on Earth, one of the planets he was to review. Ford knows only too well that they desperately need a muscle relaxant for hat is about to happen next!

The guide then points out that the best drink in existence is the PanGalactic Gargleblaster the effects of which are "rather like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick".

The Guide then tells us where the PanGalactic Gargleblaster can be drunk:  The Bistro Illegal in Sector RT 74 on the planet Lazgar Beta; Ziggies Den of Iniquity on Joltrast 3, in sector HKF 58 P, also Evildrome Boozerama on XAXRAX SIGMA in Sector XXXZ5QZX, and last but not least, Slim’s Throat Emporium on the planet FROGGRANTQUID ENTRAX in sector GOYIRAX 54.

The Guide goes on to point out that the inventor of this ‘mind-pummeling drink’ is non other than Zaphod Beeblebrox, whom we will have the good fortune to meet later in the series.

Meanwhile, Ford and Arthur enter the local pub, and Ford attempts to purchase six pints of beer. Ford takes the somewhat confused Arthur to one side and tells him that he is not of this Earth but from ‘a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse’. Arthur looks unimpressed, ‘This must be Thursday,’ he says, ‘ I never could get the hang of Thursdays.’

A few miles above them a Vogon Spaceship prepares to make an announcement. In the pub, Arthur learns that the builders are knocking his house down!  He runs off.  Ford purchases some salted peanuts from the barman and chases after him. Arthur arrives at his house to see the bulldozers moving in.  He shouts obscenities at the workmen as Ford tries to calm him.   Arthur suddenly looks up and sees a huge yellow spaceship slowly moving overhead. ‘WHAT THE HELL’S THAT!?’ he exclaims.  Ford helps Arthur grab hold of his handy transportation device and they beam off into the hull of the passing spaceship.

The big yellow ship passes over the City of London.  People look up with fear on their faces. Suddenly the spaceship Captain makes his announcement.

"People of Earth, your attention please. This is Prostactic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you are probably aware, the plans for the development of the underlying regions of the Western Spiral Arm of the Galaxy, require the building of a hyperspace express route through your star system. And regrettably your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less that two of your Earth minutes." He ends the message with "thank you very much." before signalling the end of the communication.  

The people of Earth are rather upset by this and begin shouting their protest. The Vogon Captain then announces, "all the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display at you local planning department on Alpha Centauri for 50 of your Earth Years, so you’ve had plenty of time to lodge a formal complaint and it’s far too late to start making a fuss about it now!"

The cries of protest continue from the screaming on Earth, "What do you mean you’ve never been to Alpha Centauri!  Oh for heavens sak  mankind, it’s only four light years away you know.  I’m sorry, but if you can’t be bothered to take an interest in local affairs that’s your own lookout!" He orders the demolition beam to be energised and manoeuvre's his ship to a safe distance uttering, "God, I dunno, apathetic bloody planet - I’ve no sympathy at all!" He pulls a lever and destroys the Earth. 

Without giving the ex planet a second thought he zooms off!

Ford and Arthur successfully hitched a lift on board the murdering spaceship. Ford tries to explain their predicament when he introduces him to the book Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. Arthur looks in the section about Vogons. ‘What an extraordinary book’ he concludes.

As the wonder around looking for a safe place to rest before the hyperspace jump, they come across a Babel Fish (a fish you stick in your ear that acts as a translation device) tank and some really interesting gadgets and toys like a Hypno Ray and a Stun Gun and Psychic Helmets.

Arthur puts the miraculously useful Babel Fish in his ear just in time to hear a message from the Captain that they have been spotted on the ships instruments. A search will take place and once they are found they will be turned off the ship. "I didn’t get where I am by turning my ship into a taxi for a bunch of degenerate freeloaders!"

Sure enough, after they jump into hyperspace a big  junior Vogon crewmember finds them!