22.11.2003 SaT.

今日phy test 呀.......仲要test 好鬼死多個topic 喎.......攪到我尋晚溫書溫到12點幾先訓....今日test gas , heat and energy, sound, wave o既superposition 呀.....話多唔多...話少唔少....好彩都唔太難.....份卷個半鐘...我一個鐘就做晒喇......做緊o個時..其實已經有dd 肚痛o架喇..一做完份卷就去左toilet....之後就冇事o勒.... 小息之後, 就落左lab 做tas o既experiment o勒....今日o個個ecperiment 好彩novem 有pre-lab.....我地先做得咁順利咋....我地做做下發現我地有一個transistor 係壞o既要換呀.....最尾都做得切.... 今次個lab 好似好易過咁...可能係難啦...同埋多線connect 啦...

放左學..我都唔記得左狗糧話要傾下個星期二debate d 野..我尋晚仲諗住約edwin 食飯.... 我地傾左差唔多半個鐘之後, 我同polly 就去左toilet o勒...o係toilet..我打俾edwin...edwin 飲緊茶喎...我即時慶到咩咁.....就cup 左線...我o個時真係好嬲好嬲呀..點解明明約左我食飯.....但自己又要落左街飲茶丫... 之後, 我就怒氣沖沖咁返左課室諗住繼續傾..因為我本身以為自己要趕時間o既心態冇晒o勒..可以傾幾耐都得...>.< 但我嬲得滯....終於忍唔住.....就喊左出唻喇....jonathan 同狗糧....即刻扮睇報紙...睇唔到...polly 又冇反應.....我5秒之後, 我收拾返d 情緒....hold 住自己話再傾.....終於..我地傾左個大綱出唻...我仲唔知點解...我可以好似一d 事都冇發生過咁....傾到有講有笑...仲要唔係皮笑肉不笑o個隻喎...之後, 就走o勒....同jonathan 呻左幾句...其實我都唔想發脾4o架..但我今日全個朝早都其實o係度期待緊....一陣...可以見到edwin...一陣可以同佢食飯....仲諗定有d 咩特別野要同佢講...但係......佢完全漠視左我呢一切o既期望呀...真係頓時有d 夢想幻滅o既感覺呀....>.<

出到學校門口.....已經12點25分...打俾edwin...佢已經返到屋企....準備緊一陣出去上堂... 我同佢勁坳.....我話我一心諗住同佢食飯....咁我宜家去邊好丫...屋企又淨係得幾個字時間... 返屋企好似好無聊咁... 一路同佢坳..我就同佢講...佢亦都冇守對我o既承諾...佢應承過我每星期至少陪我一次....同對上次見....已經成個星期喇....其實我都知....呢個禮拜咁嚴格要求係辛苦左佢...但...佢真係應承過我o架嘛..... 當我問佢聽日得唔得閒o個陣....佢話要踢波...所以唔得..我話踢波都唔係踢成日o架喇.....佢就話要溫書... 佢一連串好似藉口但係又真實o既schedule...好易就令我誤認為...佢係唔想見我...我就問佢....佢係咪唔想見我丫....佢竟然話係....仲有.....佢又同我講....咁係咪要我唔讀書唔做野淨係陪住你丫..... 其實o係我心底..我最想係咁.....但奈何我知唔得....仲話你想我點丫....係咪要我即刻跳落唻搵你丫咁......我真係再忍唔住喇...點解根本明明係佢負我...佢唔記得..佢放我飛機.....竟然俾人鬧o個個會係我喎.....o係呢個過程中.....佢根本一d 都冇諗過我點解會有呢d 諗法o既....一味勁駁我咀.......我突然感覺到....原來我係會俾人蝦o架....仲要係俾一個成日話邊個蝦你我幫你打佢o既人蝦返自己.....真係好心痛.....唔經唔覺,,,,我又喊... 佢開始極度唔耐煩...話要整野.....洗頭....出去上堂,,,, 我又唔肯收線...因我覺得未傾完.. 之後, 我冷靜左一段好短o既時間...我就突然話...sorry ar...唔好嬲我呀...唔好呀.... 我開始...唔再想同佢嘈....我唔想冇左佢呀....雖然我覺得被屈...但冇人認低威係唔得o架.....之後, 佢都冇咁強硬...雖然都係勁話我阻住佢... 但...佢臨收線..同我講..叫我不如返屋企先....我..哦左一聲就收線.....咁激烈o既辯論...都係維持左4分幾鐘咋.... >.<

一路搭車返屋企.....一路索鼻涕....一路流眼淚....之後, 俾d 涼風吹左一陣之後, 發現....自己咁樣好唔掂.....點解要為呢d 野而喊...而咁激動喎....之後, 開始拎本electronics o既ken sir notes 出唻麻醉自己o勒.....不過一路溫....d 呼吸都未好得返...>.<

返到屋企..我知自己未盡情喊晒出唻.....一陣出去補習先唻爆發會好樣衰.....所以... 我就o係屋企大大聲咁喊晒先....洗個面....同自己講....唔好再諗喇.....頭先好hurt o個d 說話「咩...係咪要我將所有空閒時間都俾晒你呀... 我自己唔洗有私人時間o架...?」o個d....之後, 就出去補習o勒....其實我頭先搭車o個時o係度諗....私人時間....???? 係喎...我有冇o既呢....?? 其實,...呢排..我d空閒時間...多數都係留俾edwin...但好多時..都係edwin 要攪呢樣....攪o個樣.....攪到我好似淨係有好多時間讀書咁...但其實我真係想佢陪我多 dd o架....>.< 我仲因為想抗議.佢咁對我...我仲有食lunch 添呀...>.<

出左門口之後, 我打俾佢..我知..我唔可以再o係o個件事糾纏咁耐..我第一句就關心佢先...問佢去到邊....會唔會遲到.....因為..我頭先係差d 攪到佢唔夠時間整野...佢就話夠.... 跟住..如果我冇記錯...佢第二次同我say sorry...第一次係收到我第一封俾佢o既信之後....佢話係佢唔o岩....我就話....唉...算啦.....是但啦...冇野就好lu... 之後, 佢問仲有冇唔開心.... 其實我個心仲為左佢講d 野拿住拿住....但佢都say 左sorry 茖....仲可以點jei....所1以我就話冇lu... 雖然講左出口o既野收唔返.....我亦都唔可以當冇聽過......hurt 我...係一定hurt 到....幾時諗返起都係會好hurt...但係佢肯承認佢頭先好惡鬧我....係佢衰....我個心都漸漸覺得輕鬆左好多...其實頭先喊完一場....未真正釋放...但佢o既呢一句道歉....就慢慢將我由谷底撈返上唻...之後, 仲問我去邊度補習....補完習去邊.....關心我添.....sweet sweet o既對話又返返唻lu...佢仲比較少有地問我著得夠唔夠衫添呀....^^ 但硬係覺得好似有d一啖砂糖一啖vie....o既感覺

去到佐敦...補完習就自己一個等車返屋企.. 上到巴士...嘩..勁勁凍呀....我先覺得原來唔係著得好夠衫呀....凍到暈...

返到屋企...執下野....4點半...edwin 就打唻搵我lu... 原來佢4 點半放學呀...之後, 佢又話想上唻.. 但其實佢一陣都要返st.b 燒野食...所以就冇lu...我就好懶地o係屋企訓左陣覺...訓到6點幾....媽媽同 細佬返...

今日想睇晒今個禮拜accumulate o既報紙 呀....所以係咁睇係咁睇....10點幾....打俾edwin .....想知佢o係邊....但佢聽唔到電話響...我留第二個message o個時......我知佢可能會覺得我好煩...所以我專登say sorry 先....先至話..我其實淨係想知你o係邊o架咋咁....11點幾.....佢打返俾我...原來佢又係o係太子飲緊野...我覺得又係飲到3點幾先返屋企啦... 如果佢有一日會好似同佢d friend 咁同我出街出到咁夜就好lu......有咁多時間見... 話時話...真係未落過bar 呀....pub 呀......呢 d 地方呀...又未試過飲酒喎.... 如果下次..佢肯帶我一齊去就好lu.. 我會好期待呢一日...

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