archives
31.1o.o5
trick or treat... my a$$
halloween is the worst celebrated "holiday" ever. there is no point to it. honestly. people just come around to your house and... i dunno. it's pointless. but ok. maybe that's just my sheltered upbrining. bsc books made it sound fun... *shrug*
like family, only not really. things like this never happen to you, or anyone you know. but they do. and... maybe that's just how the world spins. but sometimes it's just not fair. so i could whinge and whine and complain here, but it's not going to change anything. in my prayers...
today... camp groups. they are so screwed up it's not funny. ok. so they're not horrible. but... maybe i'm just being selfish and i want everyone else to be screwed over while i remain happy... but yeah...
nothing to write. monopoly is fun. lol. =0 haha.
and i'm so sad. do you know why? well, i can't tell you. coz it's bad. so bad that... i think i'm gonna die... =) *sigh*
i'm off. got things to think about... life and death and everything in between. *sniff* :'(
~xox
30.1o.o5
listen to the sound...
do you know who's hot? olivia wilde. after a semi oc fest with zab this arvo at bec's (while others where watching shutter... *shudder*) so now both of us are obsessing. lol. check out this for pics. and watch out for a post from zab. =) lol.
ho hum. so one tree hill, oc.. what's to become of me? =)
i need a new obsession now... maybe it should include studying. i've been so damn lazy lately. who knew that school cert was next week? huh? ><" this is really gay. gonna screw it up and then what? ><" this is so screwed up. ah wellz. expectation, blah blah... ><"
gonna make a new layout after school cert. it's not like i'll have anything to do anyway. =) so any ideas? but you know what, i saw this really awesome OTH layout yesterday... ><" ok. i'm just gonna shut up before i die of... something.
monday. again. *sigh* how i hate mondays... badminton. hahaha. hilariousness.
this is a pointless post.
i was thinking of starting a wishlist... but what for? meh.
it's... halloween tomorrow. meh. october. then november. then december. and then a whole new year to start all over again. this year has been crazy. i dunno... maybe it was just me, but i'm pretty sure it was. changes and all that. so much stuff to go through. next year, year 11... freaky? hell, yeah. i'm not sure if i'm ready to grow up yet. i'm not sure if i'm ready for things to change humungously. i'm not sure about anything anymore.
self pity. it's amusing.
so i was thinking.. KK? or is that just going to get screwed up all over again? and i'm not sure that people what to do it anyway... *shrug* but whatever. i'm here to organise it if anyone wants me.
christmas... i dunno. last christmas was... i can't even remember it. was it... really rushed? coz it feels that way. then i headed off on my own for the first time... wow. seems like so long ago... wow.
love songs suck and fairytales aren't true... *sigh*
i'm just in a blogging mood... but i'm really blogging about nothing.
you know what i hate about this whole blogging thing though? is that people come here and read it, and they never even comment... they just... stalk. lol. stalker boy harshi! haha.
i think i'm going to go and try get back to writing. and you know what? i'm still not over the eopn thing. you think i would be. but every time i play it... i dunno. it just hurts, you know? *sigh* but i don't think any of you come here anyway, so maybe it's a safe bet to be able to write it here.
i feel like some emo music. anyone wanna offer me any? lol.
Can you tell me
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're kill everything in me
...
I feel that when I'm old
I'll look at you and know
The world was beautiful
~ polaris jimmy eat world
sheep = easily influenced = me. *sigh*
what about my fm boys? eh? tis been sooo long. =) hehee. i'm getting restless. i need new music... *sigh*
ok. i think that i've crapped on enough. =) so i'll spare you any further pain of reading the dribble that i'm cranking out.
~xox
29.1o.o5
scripts galore
and so i thought that the whole semiobsessed thing was going to end once i'd finished the special features. turns out that i was wrong. ah wellz. so here i am, reading second season scripts. =) lolz... i dunno what's gonna happen to me... maybe i'm just a pushover. *shrug*
T.H White said: "Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically… to those who hardly think about us in return." [yeah yeah.. ep. 202]
anywayz... what's up in the land of nod? eh? nothing interesting going on over here. my eye is really itchy. not that you care. but i think that i got a mosquito bite on my eyelid... and now my eye is really watery. gross.
gah. so now i have been semi grounded from the net. so maybe this daily blogging thing might not work as good as i'd hoped. *sigh* well, whatever, maybe i'll just send myself a template of a posting thingo... so then i can post at school. lolz. *sigh* but maybe it's a good thing.
but i like talking. and i guess that i'll miss it. ><"
love you alls. dunno when the next post will be...
~xox
28.1o.o5
special features...
alot of commentaries and stuff. interesting. and watching the special features. gaving degraw is so awesome... =) hehe. funny happy feelings.
today was a good day, in comparison to others. supposed to be learning chinese right now, but we all know how that sits with me. besides, getting all distracted by OTH. =) lolz. i've moved the computer so that it's sitting in front of the tv.. and so i can watch too. =) haha.
anywayz... ah crap. i just heard a noise. freaks me out... ><" sometimes i hate staying at home... and other times i love it. like... i just love the silence of the whole house. and it's even better when i'm listening to music and just singing at the top of my voice. =) hahaha. awesome fun.
what else? nothing really to write. once i give this stupid show back, i'm sure that i will find some other things to talk about in my blog. lolz.
should get back in to writing... but meh. after SC maybe...
~xox
27.1o.o5
there is only one tree hill... [corny!!]
i've finished. all done. now going back to watch special features. watched the last episode twice, with the commentary on the second time. weird. and hilarious. but yeah... good stuff. interesting. =) gotta hand it to you... successfully getting me to... watch it. ><
you wonder what happens when everything is over. school... uni... what happens when you hit that working period of your life, where that's all you do for like... 30... 40 years. i mean, what happens to the people that you knew in high school, eh? will i even remember any of the people from high school, let alone keep in touch? i hope i do. with some people anyway.
but what if you face the chance of losing someone before all that happens? like... i dunno. i've never had to say goodbye to anyone before. and the concept of that just scares me, you know? like... it might not be permanent. or it could be... and i dunno. it's a scary thing to think about, the future... but whatever happens...
school. i think i need to re-evaluate myself. i've been doing... ok i guess so far in all my yearlies. nothing outstanding. nothing that sets me apart. not like i used to (mind the ego)... but yeah. i set standards for myself, yet i find myself continuously letting myself down. and i feel like i'm letting everyone else down too. but some people seem to enjoy it when i fall. and they have to lord it over me. and i dunno. i'm just so over it. i screw up. people have to understand that.
most of all, me.
You can stay tonight,
And make everything alright.
You can hold me down,
And tell me that you're right.
Tell me what it's like to be alone
~ stay tonight matchbook romance
i dunno about everything anymore. since when did life get so confusing? since when did we have to think so much about everything? friends, school, rships, life... *sigh* i dunno. i need a distraction.
someone distract me please!
got formal invites today. good work dudes. =) (not that anyone from the formal committee comes here anyway...)
tours. LA... italy/greece... makes you wonder don't it? and then lee is planning the other america thing... i dunno. just... a part of me doesn't want to go to band tour. band tour this year... was anything but awesome. i dunno why, but yeah. ><" well, actually i do, but people actually come here, and i don't want to completely say that it was a waste of time (which it wasn't) but there was just lots of stuff going on that i wasn't too great with... maybe at another time it could have been so much better, but now... and then the italy/greece... france version 2? who knows. hell of a lot more people seemingly going to that. or maybe i'm just bitter coz i wish i was going too. whatever. i dunno.
i think it's about time that i end this entry. it's getting pointless.s
~xox
26.1o.o5
under the weather
take me under your wing tonight, make me so perfect in your eyes, hold on, coz it will be alright, you're not alone. and you'll be here for ever, for ever you'll stay, then you promised to love me, you'll love me always...
how sweet the sound of my punk boys. =) they are so awesomely awesome. =) i'll never get over them.
so i didn't really do as well as i wanted in anything. not yet anyway. so maybe i'm a little bit disappointed. the perfectionist in me wants to blame it on everything else... but it's no one's fault but my own, for being such a net bum in the first place. so why am i here blogging, instead of doing my eco? which is like the only thing that i have going for me... *sigh* and then everyone will feel bad coz they got what i got or something... but honestly. the whole perfect me thing is so old, that you'd think that people would get over it! but they haven't. and now i'm the bar line. and it sucks. majorly. as if i don't feel bad enough about my stuff without having to have people crap on about it too. just get over it already. geez... *sigh*
enough of my rant for now... so not in a very good mood right now. *sigh*
strike this morning, but went to school early anyway, coz ren said he was going to, so we were gonna talk. and then he didn't come. stupid ren. ah wellz. then had three periods, all three of which we worked in, while everyone else got to bludge. *sigh* school cert blah blah blah... then sport. bowling. had to go with the chinky dudes, which was actually ok. kind of like a break from the whole dude population of the table. minus the others. but yeah. ><" *sigh* i dunno what's up with me today...
dentist, and it was cool. got some bits taken off today! and i might get them off off for real next appointment! but must remember to wear elastics. gaah. so troublesome... but yeah. exciting stuff. =) and then after that formal...
the dreaded piece of crap known as the formal. what is the point? meh. i'm not even gonna go there again...
and so here i sit, supposed to be doing eco. i actually like it... but haven't been able to discipline myself yet.
watched two eps today... two more for tomorrow... actually, should probably finish watching mel's tape... ><" keep forgetting. *sigh* ah wellz. yes, you should probably get it back by sunday. and brooke is a desperate coooow... ><"
enough lindy. enough. get back to eco.
ok. i have spoken... apparently. whatever. i think i'm just getting a bit psychoed... meh. just feel like blogging... so i am. even though i don't really have anything to blog about, and no one really visits here anyway. so tis all good. i guess.
ah wellz. rentz back now. will go and post.
~xox
25.1o.o5
talking, walking.
i don't wanna be anything other than what i've been trying to be lately. all i have to do is think of me and my peace of mind. [fix it luverly.]
you know this whole formal thing??? it is soooo stupid... ><" 70 bux on top of a 50 billion dollar outfit and all we get is drama. and in our group, we can get that for free. *sigh* whatever. i'm still going to go anyway. i just wish i had a nice digital to take NICE photos. maybe i'll learn how to use a manual before then and then i'll see what happens. =) haha.. that would be awesome.
yearly marks back. ok... i guess. not the most happiest of bunnies, but i guess i'm only to blame for that? *sigh* yeah... but feel bad about not being ok with it, since other people who got what i got are happy... yeah... ><"
have fun on camp all you people. =) hehe. will miss you all. don't have tooo much fun without us, yeah?
talking to yin now. =) is awesome. haha. lots of things to talk about... lalalalala... =) hahaha. amusing. very. =) haha.
anywayz. not much to talk about right now. since i got called up on talking about certain things which seem to be invading my possessed life... =) haha. so... yeah. what else am i supposed to talk about??? this is so sad. i've been reduced to a blundering mess over this stupid retarded... piece of crap. =) hahah. nah. tis good. ENOUGH.
i think i might go watch. last disc. =0))) so excited. almost over though.. =(( how sad. or not. because i'm such a net addict and can't be bothered to gete off my butt to the tv. =)
~xox
24.1o.o5
you bring joy to my soul.
i'm not sure if i'm liking this whole one tree hill thing. it's making me cry a lot. and some of the plot lines are so stupid... but addictive. and it sucks that peyton and lucas never REALLY get together. pause. you HONESTLY thought that i'd just leave it be? and YOU! OI! please please please get the second season??? =)))) i still have 2 disks to go... but shush. =) i might be finished by the end of the week, in which case will give back to your rentz. if i forget, THANKS! =) yes, you're so cool... blah blah. don't let it get to your head. =)
anywayz, off the planet called one tree hill (and seriously, how RETARDED is it?? the town is called "tree hill"???? retarded. honestly. some creativity please?)... school was good.
and i've figured out at least one of the reaons why i've been so moody lately. well, i know both of them. but i managed to talk about one. =) and it feels much better. thanks. =) you never come here anyway, but ah well.
so yeah. getting science back tomorrow apparently. and then sheridan was freaking us out by marking the tests in class. i don't like this yearly results idea. ><" scares me. mm...
starting yet another story. it's going interesting. lol. i don't think i'll end up finishing one or getting on the way with one... interesting. i just don't like having to post and fulfilling reader interest. it's much easier to just try and finish one. and then post it. unlike ngir which was easy. but yeah... ><" it's harder coming from my brain.
p+p has been good reading. it's nice to be able to settle down with a book again. =) it's been a while. but yeah. i love it. nothing beats curling up in bed with a good book, feet warm under the covers. =) it's one of the most awesomest, calmest feelings. until you actually START reading and get engrossed in why elizabeth and mr. darcy don't get together any sooner, and why the mother is really a c-o-w! =) hehe.
nothing else to report from the land of nod. other than that i am writing. again. =) provng fruitless. too many ideas. too many feelings. not even one goal or plot line. *sigh* ah wellz. we'll see how things work out. any ideas for character names? would be much appreciated. =)
~xox
23.1o.o5
i don't wanna be...
episode 11, and i have to admit to two three things.... only i can't here. because it scares me!!!! ><" stupid people who influence people. they should go crawl into holes and die! =) ok. so fine. 1) one tree hill is actually good. not overrated. 2) james lafferty is gooood! =) hehehe. and 3)? *zips mouth shut* not saying anything on that one for a little while. besides, i'd never live it down.
so *cough* moving on. =) back to school tomorrow, after a certainly very relaxing weekend... and i will now have to enlighten you with several wise words from someone known as lucas scott. =)
John Steinbeck once wrote “It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world."
As happens sometimes a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone.
What a frightening thing is the human, a mass of gages and dials and registers.And we can read only a few. And those perhaps not accurately.
And the little prince said to the man: "Grownups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always explaining things to them."
i think they're quotes from books? i think. coz i think that the last one is from The Little Prince... herm... interesting.
ANYWAYZ. i think a certain tv show has captured quite enough of my attention for the weekend...
moving on to things that DO NOT include thing beginning with c and ending with had michael murray. =) hehehe.
back to school tomorrow... sucks that we still have to work. i mean, after exams you just really want to relax, rather than have to worry about 2 unit maths and some new english topic... then again, in some subjects *coughgeocough* we haven't even finished the syllabus... which freaks me out a little. ah wellz. back to work for me, but for now, i'm going to write. =) haven't had much time lately. =) so i'm excited.
~xox
22.1o.o5
twice as many stars in the sky
watching one tree hill with the ever controversial cmm. and i must say... it's not too bad. i've cried a fair bit already... *blushes* but shush. no one needs know that, especially YOU! shush. but ok, it's alright... three eps in and the ball is awesome to watch. *shrug* who woulda thunk it, 'eh?
went to see p&p today with a few people. twas good. something made it feel empty though. i dunno... the group, i mean. but yeah... p&p... cried so much it wasn't funny. felt really stupid for crying so much after it... but yeah, what can you do? elizabeth and mr. darcy. anyone for watching the bbc version anytime? i want to compare it. and i'm going to start reading again. reading something that has actually been published... so yeah. p&p is my next venture.
my throat has been really sore all day. actually, i think it was only after the movie. too much crying today. and feel like crying again for no reason. actually, i think there is a reason, but i don't have the guts to write it here.
There is a tide in the affairs of men... Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune... But omitted, and the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and miseries... On such a full sea are we now afloat... ...And we just take the current when it serves... ...Or lose the ventures before us.
and to think that i am beginning to quote the great cmm in my posts. freaky...
before i go, talking is good. it's even better when there are two people. *shrug* i don't even know what i mean. actually, i do, but that's not the point.
~xox
21.1o.o5
from the sidewalks...
i love this song. it has really nice... i don't know. story of the year are actually pretty awesome. there was one song that was a bit... urgh, and apparently the new album is really crap? *shrug* page avenue is good. good for the taste people who get to see them LIVE...
today was interesting. maths in the morning, and of course i think i screwed a few of the questions... but yeah. whatever. exams are all over now so... yeah. *sigh* i dunno. just brings the looming SC ever closer. and no matter how much people say it doesn't count, and no matter what kind of attitude i say i have, i really do worry about it deep down, not so much because i'm thinking of leaving school and actually using it, but because i'm the ultimate perfectionist... and i just hate to fail. and... yeah. i dunno. today was a weird day.
hope you're ok and that i didn't force you into doing it today, ok? i know that you said that it was good for you to do it in the first place, but like, i'm just sorry for pushing you. especially since you started off having a really crappy day. but *hugs*. it's just maths, and don't worry about them two ok? i'm sure it'll blow over? and i hate it when people cry! coz then i start crying... =) but then again, crying is a good way to get everything out, sometimes it's the only way. :'( yeah... but hope that it all ends up ok and that he takes it ok and things aren't even weirder? *sigh* but yeah... one down, one to go?
i was really tired today. really moody. and i think i snapped at a lot of people, or was a little blunter with people than i would otherwise have been. sorry to people that i did bite at.
i hate this feeling. i have that... depressed-ish feeling all over again, and i don't know why. i guess it's just a combination of things, that have just been building up this whole week and last week... *sigh* and yeah... that could probably add to why i was so moody and such too. *sigh* someone cheer me up, coz goodness knows i need cheering.
sometimes i wonder about my parents. like, honestly, do they even care about school anymore? suddenly everything good i do doesn't matter, but the little things, they nitpick and they just pick at them and nag me about them to no end. i wonder if it will ever stop? and freedom... pfft. that is so far away. but what can i do about it? nothing. and no one else seems to understand. everyone just thinks that talking will solve it. but it's not going to. so i just have to take it. and then people stereotype me as a spoilt brat, just coz i'm an only child. hate to disappoint, but you are sorely mistaken. there is nothing worse than being an only child to a chinese parents. they do not let you do anything. it is crazy. but i guess i've kind of learnt to live with it...
wanted to go to p&p tomorrow with the gang, but mum came home yelling. didn't really think that she'd be all that up to it... *sigh* whatever. but i really wanted to go... or even to see something else... *shrug* whatever. i have to deal i guess. i might ask in the morning, but i wonder if that will only just make her even more against the idea, because i asked "at the last minute". who knows with her anymore.
*sigh* writing has been good. ditched a couple of the old stories in favour of a new random one... but may cut and paste here and there where i see fit... but whatever. *sigh* i dunno. i just can't seem to get the ideas coming fast enough, while my fingers are just simply itching to write. *sigh*
i think this shall do as a substantial post for today. before i write too much. and write something that i regret. that can be reserved for... something else. i dunno. something that's like... a story. i should probably write all the thoughts in my head... but yeah. *sigh*
i think it's funny how she still thinks everything is ok
~xox
20.1o.o5
and i knew it complete...
how weird was eco today? lesson full on first two periods... then blue whales and samurai hats last period? hehe. =) twas very... nice, i think. i think we're only JUST starting to settle as a class. *shrug* i dunno...
recess was amusing today. me and jess, listening to sp. hehehe. =) amusing. =) she has two arms to hold me, four legs to wrap around me... hahaha. =) fun stuffs. was it really so long ago that OTHER people were that into it? herm...
i think maybe i'm not as ok with the whole EOPN thing... but whatever... ><" not like i can do anything yeah? i think i'll just give my constructive criticism and then see what becomes of it. flat. too soft. can't hear to even talk about. ><" i dunno. feels really slack to nitpick like that. ><" *sigh* but otherwise they're good. better than OTHER i've heard... *shrug* interesting... ah wellz. table rivalry. table small groupness? lindy over analysing? most likely. *sigh*
i just need a good sleep i think.
and to look over some maths. but meh. whatever.
i need to write... something. i need to write my head out. but i don't even know what is going on in my head. i'm so confused lately... i dunno. *sigh*
i need to talk to you about something... but i don't know how to start it... it's not something that we'd talk about. i mean... we've never talked about it except in the beginning... *sigh* i dunno. he says that you already know about it... and i just wanted to know what you thought. coz i dind't know what to say when he talked to me... *sigh*
and YOU... good to hear that things are ok. =) don't worry, yeah? coz she'll be alright. and so will he. and so will YOU. ok? and if, on the off chance, you aren't, i'll be here for you, ok? =) *hugs* love you.
I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile and my heart
For times when my life feels so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know
Chorus:
I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong
I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone
~ all outta love air supply/jagged edge/human nature [???]
finé.
~xox
19.1o.o5
and so it ends...
ok. going to go do archives now. all this long entries and stuff are annoying me. so let's go to figure that out...
how awesome is it to have NOTHING tomorrow?!?! (other than triple eco but you know how it goes... ><") but feel sooooo freeeeeeee!!!
anywayz... boredom reigns... thought about writing... but can't get anything to come through my fingers. piano is proving to be awesome... but nothing totally... awe inspiring yet. love singing though. =) seeing as the gig died... ><" *sigh* but yeah... tis fun. and i've been printing out other bits of music too. =) hehe.
pya, get ONLINE! where are ya? stupid girl. =)
~xox
18.1o.o5
her heart is breaking infront of me
mmm... interesting. anywayz... boredom. history and geog. and pya's not online to gmail with. haha. lalalala... musicified...
And I’m on fire
When you’re near you
I’m on fire
When you speak
it's been a while my boys. =) it's been a while for a lot of my boys. ah wellz. that's what happens when you get people giving you a whole lot of other stuff and you start simply being a sheep. bah.
after this week i just want to relax and not think about results. =) hehe. you don't really want a blow by blow account of what i did and what i didn't do. ><" ah wellz. screwed it up a little... but i think i'll live.
i want to go to sleep. it's not even 10 yet. and i want to go to sleep. someone talk to me so i don't fall asleep at my computer.
mmm... starburst babies. =) study food. brain food. [i wrote that an ineffective coping mechanism was eating too much. obviously i didn't take any of that pd crap to heart.]
sleep. =) (in my dreams... does that even work?) [and i'm going to do archives sooner or later... it gets too difficult to load all the time.]
~xox
17.1o.o5
all in all...
these songs from ye are pretty good. especially existentialism on prom night. i am so obsessed with that song. piano is very stress-relieve-y to play. =) hehe.
I wander thro' each charter'd street
Near where the charter'd Thames does flow
And mark in every face I meet
Marks of weakness, marks of woe
In every cry of every Man
In every Infant's cry of fear
In every voice, in every ban
The mind-forg'd manacles I hear.
How the Chimney sweeper's cry
Every black'ning church appals
And the hapless Soldier's sigh
Runs in blood down Palace walls.
But most thro' midnight streets I hear
How the youthful Harlot's curse
Blasts the newborn Infant's tear
And blights with plagues the Marriage hearse
gah. hate this. stupid. and then have to do burns. stupid stupid stupid.
~xox
16.1o.o5
i'd do anything...
except study for these things that have come to be known as yearlies... why oh why?? *sigh* but i will be a good little girl and study... once i'm done here. =)
i've had 16 entries so far... wow. ><" but i'm getting bored... will most likely go back to spaces sooner or later. or abandon it altogether and start posting for real on lj. =) hehe. whatever. we'll see what happens.
i want to make a colourful layout. this is starting to get very dreary... ><" *sigh* whatever happens... wee... meh.
i really should go and study for science.
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37
mmm...
~xox
15.1o.o5
the con.
and so it's all done. not quite finished, but finished for now. will i go back? maybe... who knows?
b+. i'm happy with that i guess. =) hehe. tis all good. =) nervous and all that through the whole thing... which is probably why i screwed up. but oh wellz. =) still good and happy.
bored. don't wanna study. haven't really anyway.
want to talk to you. but you're never there... *sigh* this is silly.
~xox
14.1o.o5
on the other hand...
and so it seems to be ok... though how long that "okayness" will last, will be up to... both of us i guess.
so whatever happens happens. and i'm not going to do anything about it anymore. just leave it as things go. *shrug* whatever.
tomorrow is a big day. freaky. but i didn't want to miss yg...
and then church... the exams... ><" gonna do a pya...
** monday: science
** tuesday: computing
english
pd
** wednesday: geography
history
** thursday: NONE! w00000t!
** friday: maths
so that'll be it for a while. =)
from underneath i wanted you
to see the first thing that i ever poured my heart into
you'll never know the pain that i've been through
i'm not so sure you'll ever know
so i'll make you understand the words that built my life
were not from you
but from my Father's hand...
i may never know how it feels to stand beside you
or take your hand when I need some direction
and i may never know what it's like to see you smile back at me
or know you'd be proud of me
~ from underneath hawk nelson
it's been a while my boys. =)
~xox
13.1o.o5
angry and filled.
not in the mood. really not in the mood. today was a...
coz you had a bad day... how true, how true...
i'm not even going to write it here. there's no point.
for once, i have no incentive to blog. i feel sort of deflated.
remember when i went on one of those damn poetry motions? yeah. feels like that again. and i don't want to feel like this.
should be forigiving shouldn't i?
but it's happened before. and i think that's what annoys me. *sigh*
whatever. screw this for now. i'm just... not in the mood. it's all... yeah. too much for me to handle. maybe i should offload. whatever..
nothing else to say. don't want to talk about it. either you know, or you don't. so leave it at that.
and yes. i have blocked you. deal with it for now.
~xox
12.1o.o5
singing gig
existentialism on prom night... lovely.
when the sun came up
we were sleeping in
sunk inside our blankets
sprawled across the bed
and we were dreaming
there are moments when i know it
and the world revolves around us
and we're keeping it
keeping it all going
this delicate balance
vulnerable
all knowing
(sing like you think no one's listening)
you would kill for this
just a little bit
so, sing me something soft
sad and delicate
or loud and out of key
sing me anything
we're glad for what we've got
done with what we've lost
our whole lives laid out right in front of us
~ existentialism on prom night straylight run
beautiful. thanks to ye, stinky and ren. i love it. and to repay that... ok. i'll sing. so here starts my singing career. haha. ><" *sigh* we'll see what happens. if i can cope. but sounds good. getting to know it right now.
over and over again...
i HATE cmm. just for the record. =) stupid... PEOPLE...
~xox
1o.1o.o5
what? exams, you say?
a lyric post... but i think you'll live. =) hehe. sweet sweet switchfoot.
There's always something
In the way
There's always something
Getting through
But it's not me
it's You
Sometime's ignorance
Rings true
But hope is not in
What I know
Not in me
It's in You
It's all I know
And I find peace
When I'm confused
I find hope when
I'm let down
Not in me
But in You
I hope to lose myself
For good
I hope to find it in the end
Not in me
It's You
It's all I know
~ you switchfoot
Although we’ve come to the end of the road
Still I can’t let you go
It’s unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you
~ end of the road boyz ii men
probably one of the few boyziimen songs that ir eally do truly love. =) (take that as you will)
You keep creating pictures in your mind
So just believe they will come true in time
It will be fine leave all of your cares and stress behind and
Just let it go
Let the music go inside again the pain
It just start to believe
I believe i can
I believe i will
I believe i know my dreams are real
I believe i can
I believe i will
I believe i hold it soon man
That is what i do believe
~i believe yolanda adams
sometimes anyway... ><"
icon shopping. (thanks for the term rach. hehe) go to the tissue box... [LJ]... yeah. tis awesome. nice and simple. wordy. i love them like that. =)
~xox
o9.1o.o5
kurthalsey.com
i have just discovered kurt halsey for real. like, i knew he existed and all... but i've had fun making these. =)
some kurt halsey icons... =) just 8, and they're not very good. don't be too harsh please! ><"
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3. 
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4. 
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5. 
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6. 
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7. 
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8. 
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notes: 1, 2, 7: used brushes from dead_garden
comment and [if you actually want to use them...] credit me and mr. halsey. =)
that is all for the weekend. 8 ok icons. =)
~xox
o7.1o.o5
boredom reigns.
just some iconage that i did today...
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3. 
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5. 
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6. 
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7. 
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i don't know why some of them are grainy though... like, 3 and 6... used animation thingo... *shrug* ah wellz. twas fun.
comment, tell me what you think. [yes, this is on spaces and lj.]
~xox
o6.1o.o5
messed up.
i don't know what's up with me... i've been so forgetful and all that... *sigh*
like today... clarinet and all that. my rentz are getting all worried and stuff. hell, i'm getting worried for myself... whatever happened to the stereotypical me? organised and what not? ><" *sigh* i dunno... but ok. will just leave it for now and see what happens...
twas good hanging today... at least she's still herself... so yeah. =) thank God for that. twas awesome train ride... lolz. i never catch the train out that way, shut up. =) hehe. but yeah... it was really encouraging to her see her like she was, all happy and even evangelising and all that. =) but she does look bad... ><" *sigh*
talking on the train with bec. =) hehe. (i fixed your name back at that last post...) twas funny stuff. =) hehe. but yeah... good talking, coz we haven't in a while. =)
so then i came home... and now it's cold. i don't like this weather changing so much... tis annoying me... ><" ah wellz.
what to write, what to write... ok. going to actually get some study done... ><" yeah... whatever lindy. =) hehe...
and finishing NGIR... has been... sad, I guess. *sigh* ah wellz.
~xox
o5.1o.o5
to blog.
for once in my life i don't really feel the urge to blog. tis weird.
but yay for joel's camp photos. puzzle!! hehe.
i kind of don't want to go tomorrow... coz i'm mostly just... scared of getting all angry and everything again. i know i will... thank God that she's ok though... *sigh*
i hate hospitals. they're depressing.
you know what i need to get again? that imood thing. haha. i remember those old days of geocities... haha. now they're gone. and what are we left with? complete and utter confusion, fear for greater good of human kind...
gah. ok. i'm started. anger and all that... it's all coming back to me now.... yeah. i'm a 106.5 wild child... lol. as wild as you can get anyway... hehe.
you were everything, everything that i wanted... yeah... *sigh*
teen angst much? ah wellz. i'm back into a TRAB phase. but it's more of a denial phase, but yeah, whatever. =/
i think that's enough for today. i can't force myself to be in a blogging mood. sorry.
~xox
o4.1o.o5
click.
well, photos have been posted, here and on spaces. but meh. took me a whole afternoon coz the codes were being annoying. but yay for it being ok now. =)
and that is all i have for you right now. tired after all the photop-ing. lolz. so lazy, i am. but meh.
~xox
o3.1o.o5
i'm just so predictable...
well, apparently, i'm supposed to blog about everything that happened at church camp, all the talks, the puzzles, the bonding, the cards, the spectating... but you know, maybe i will later.
i don't know what's up with me. call me angsty or whatever... but yeah.
still obsessed with OHH. hehe. tis awesome. but i love this song. i heard it on the radio on the way back from camp... and then heard it when dan sang on idol. yeah yeah, i'm so sad, i taped it... =)) hehe.
If I could paint I'd paint a portrait of you
The sunlight in your eyes a masterpiece of truth
And a single tear like a silent prayer
That's shining so much brighter than a diamond ever dared
If I could do anything at all, I'd do it for you
If I could write
I'd write a book for you
A tale of hidden treasures with an I.O.U
And a million words wouldn't say a thing
That won't be said in three words
Where love's the central theme
If I could do anything at all, I'd do it for you
[Chorus]
Darling can't you see
What you mean to me
Anything I can do I'll do it for you
And darling don't you know
Just how far I'd go
Anything I can do, I'd do it for you
Sometimes I feel so second-rate
Seems loving you was my greatest mistake
I know I'm insecure
And love don't keep score
But I wish I could give you more
If I could play
I'd play up a storm for you
A raging sea of passion that you never knew
Every whispered sound would touch your heart
And maybe for a moment I could be your favourite star
If I could do anything at all
If I could, I'd give you more
If I could do anything at all…..I'd do it for you
~ if i could 1927
yes. i love it. it's sweet. and i also liked the song that the other dan sang. =) [i'm so obsessed with this idol thing...] i won't paste the whole song though...
I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you
~ to be with you mr. big
yes. so anyway.... [photos will come soon....] camp was awesome. great time just to be and... forget. so yeah... but more stuff came up. so you want a day by day account? hehe. =) okz. no paragraphs. you've been warned.
so... picked up aunty chia on saturday morning, then headed up. got there at around half past 9, missing a bit of the talk. twas good. power of GOd, committment to God, the wrath of God... then discussion groups, and twas a bit weird, with the mixed ages and all, but ended up being ok. then it was lunch... um... something. with yucky coleslaw. and lots of salad-y stuff. yeah. ><" lolz. =) we all know how much i love salad. =) hehe. free time! =) watched bball with natty, raf and sarah, then natty started playing. then she scored. =) hehe. yay! =) dez screwed his ankle... and then they stopped playing for a bit. so we... did something... ok. skip forward a bit. i don't remember too much. ><" oh yeah. another talk. committment to the church as a people. and then more discussion. then cards. weeee... piggy. hilarious. if i could remember some of the lines i'd write them out. but i can't remember. ah wellz. =) was hilarious. managed to stay on 0 which was good... for a while anyway. hehe. awesome fun. then people left. then torture... moi, natty, raf, bec and dez. natty was really soft... hehe. then went to bed... between 12 and 1. yeah. not too late. slept, woke up. sunday. breakfast and then the little teapot (aka benny)... service. twas all good, though a bit tired. had to refrain from closing my eyes. had really good morning tea. then got killed by aunty evelyn. *sigh* ah wellz. twas good while it lasted. then Q&A... which we skipped. ><" played pool, fussball (sp?)... and just hung. lunch, then got presented with our variety night challenge: a fashion parade. um. ok. so stephanie (lol. it's been a while since i remembered...), sarah, melissa and I went to raid the dressup room... as were all the other groups. come on and ride the train... choo choo hahaha. =) twas awesome. anywayz... so yes, managed to get all our stuff. lost natty and raf, who had gone to make natty's wings. so then played spit with dez. lost. twice. *hides in shame* then puzzle. haha. that 1000 pieces thing was totally my fault, shut up already. did bits... then left it. dinner. and then went to rehearse our fashion thingo. lolz. variety night was awesome. games and all that. jingles... and CHOOO CHOOO!! haha. =) our drink... that sucked. thue strawberry with chilli was SOOO not supposed to have fallen in to the drink. would have tasted so much better otherwise. ah wellz. =) hehe. then it was time for the fashion parades. we went last... but we were awesome, as were all the other groups. highlights? yvonne and trisha's dance routine. =) hot and spicy chicken (aka natty!! hahaha). aunty joyce and her dancing. lowlights? WAAAAY too much flesh from uncle daniel, will, kev, newie and andrew. ><" [photos will be coming soon. though i'm not sure if you want them....><"] so yes. 1) sunday night fever, 2) spice family and 3)... um... q's team. the... exotic name sounding one... i think? *shrug* i can't remember... ><" lolz. sorry guys. =) hehe. so yeah. then packing up. and then... um... finishing up puzzle. though we still didn't finish. left it in the capable hands of joel and pat, as well as others... aunty khian i distinctly remember... benny did his dare from losing piggy the day before: two sachets of coffee and banana. lack of banana called for mandarins. and i think it was a drink instead? yeah. gross. chubby bubby with mandarins over the other side. more puzzle. then more piggy. 14 players. awesome stuff. lolz. confusing. i'm stupid. go natty's aim. haha. =) and then... torture. moved. then torture some more. my trophies? 4 bruises. ah wellz. =) all rigged, but twas all good. hahaha. =) sleep at 2:15. wake up. breakfast. talk. committment to family. morning tea. dicussion. then testimonies. not as much crying. q was awesome. lunch, then packing up. left with aunt chia and becs. slept heaps. neck is now extremely sore. came home, watched idol then... yeah. dinner, now here. blogging. =) wee.
tunes: yeah usher
haven't heard it in a while... sweet.
ok. enough. meh. i'm bored. tired. should sleep. accompanist rehearsal tomorrow. scared. ah wellz. i suck. i'm going to screw it up anyway. aaaah well. =)
~xox