Calum, (nee Dour) - big mogul o'er
the Planet's Media scene,
researched to do the scoopiest scoop
- the biggest ever seen!
"I'll make a million / coin a mint,
all in one afternoon,
- with telescope and camera
and ticket to Dunoon."
Far off the shore, of Loch Needmoor,
as said a leaked Report,
a gene soup nest of escapees
were living in a fort.
Their leader was a bloke gone wrong,
the locals called Nar Whilly,
- a sheep-duck-man-duck-sheep back cross
who'd gone a little silly.
He loved his fellow creatures,
though little else was clear,
whatever brought him to this spot,
whatever keeps him here.
Calungi Dour upped anchor,
in his patchwork Quilt Balloon.
"I'll make it 'cross those waters,
if I rise above Fort Tune!"
But on that day, Nar Whilly Bang
was oot te bring him doon,
an' in that watery deepy Loch
he wanted Dour te droon.
Wi' Cannon Ball all Cherry Red
and recipes fer doom,
he was prepared te fight and win
te keep his shantytoon.
"Where would the one armed octopus
and two legged glow ball go,
if Dour came here and made the place
into a media show"?
And that's the News this very hour
who'll win we do not ken,
- we can't collate tomorrow's truth
through pictures, speech or pen.
If all put fortune on their path
For nowt but private gain,
that Cherry that we call 'Tomorrow's' flawed
- so think again!