I must warn you: Once you get on the cover of On The Wire,
you're life will change. I hope you can handle the fame. Just ask
Gary. He got tons of book deal advances right after the trip, and now
he's living in some fancy schmancy place in Bel Air. Last time I saw
him, he was stepped out of a Ferrari 308 and walked into Spago's with
a babe on each arm. Rumor has it that he is working on a movie deal
with Universal. All I've heard is that the part of Gary will be
played by Steven Segal. Something about "a catamaran sailor who makes
his own rules and has his own brand of justice."

Bill

Why um, Thank You for that introduction Bill!  Actually "trapped out on a Ferrari" might have been more like it.  Heh heh!

The film production is coming along quite fine.  We've been doing screen tests, script editing, and stunt production all at the same time to make the most of our time and dollar budget.  We are still swooning Jim Carey and doing our best to help him to see himself in this film as much as we all do.  Mr. Carey is a dead ringer for this role and we hope that he will realize it.  While I'd really like Mr. Carey to attach himself to the film, we have to be realistic and keep other options available.

We were fortunate enough to draw more attention when we started to play with the idea of using the Gomer Pyle character, (formerly played by the late Jim Neighbors,) in the role of Bill.  One of those who auditioned was Michael Keeton who, as it turns out,  has had a secret desire to immerse himself in the Gomer Pyle role.

This is a shot taken while Michael Keeton was doing a screen test.  This Scene:  In an attempt to warm up for sailing and in a desperate attempt to gain his Sea Legs, Gomer frantically marches in place in the sand until his socks fall off.  Not seen in this shot is Steven Segal, as Gary, with the tiller extension in his hand and tucked under his arm like a batton, behaving just like a drill Sergeant.  He is tormenting Gomer, conditioning him for the channel crossing.  Waving his baton, he yells, "Don't even think about stopping yet!  I don't care if you feel sick.  You're gonna march that puke right out of your gut, right here on the beach!  I'll have no sickling messing up my boat with his queasy stomach and spindly legs.  Get that blood pumping and those butterflies out of you, NOW!  Hup Two, Hup Two!"

This was a Polaroid that was used by the set design department during film production.  The stage manager uses these to ensure "proper prop placement" when returning to shoot an additional "take" at a previously used "set."  "Placing Of Props To Recapture A Previous Set" is known is "the Biz" as "Pop Traps."  Or sometimes the stage hand who is responsible in assisting the stage manager in doing this job (of recapturing a previously used set) is affectionately known as a "Pop-Cop,"  This refers to the "Placement Of Props as Captured On Polaroid."

When the PopCop snapped this picture we were filming the sequence where Bill whoops I mean Gomer, played by Jim Carey  (we hope and pray!) is delaying the launch of the boat because he can not seem to keep his balance after attempting to walk onto the dock which was swaying a little bit with the swell surge and tidal current.

You'll really love the stunt that occurs here!  "Bill" stumbles over his own tennis shoe on the asphalt.  As the shoe rolls and the sole tears away from the rest of the shoe it leaves a big hanging flapping rubber obstacle that refuses to allow him to maintain his footing.  He gropes at the boat's bow for support (at the instant this Polaroid was snapped) but doesn't catch himself and proceeds to fall sideways over the yellow gear bag which ends up rolling over his hand and arm.  While his arm is trapped and useless in fending the fall, he does a sideways cartwheel roll over the bag and stuffs his head into a square ice box that is sitting open, ready to load.

The cold, partially melted ice throws him into a state of hysteria as he runs around like a chicken with his head cut off.  The ice box is stuck on his head, blocking his vision, and dripping ice cold water and ice cubes all over him.

He begins to run around while his hands are on the sides of the box as he desperately tries to remove it.  While in this panic, his extended folded elbow clips the rear end of the boat's boom, spins him into the port rudder with his hip, knocking him to the ground a second time where he proceeds to roll like a sausage down the steep concrete launch ramp to a spectacular splash entry into the water.

By now enough of the ice has left the ice box to allow him to breath as he bobs around in the water with a shark grabbing his tennis shoe's flapping rubber sole and beginning to drag him around like a red and white bobber float on a fishing line.

You see children fishing nearby with their red and white bobbers looking in amazement at a big red and white "bobber" being moved violently across the water's surface and they are excited about what kind of fish somebody nearby must be catching.

Just then, the local Labrador Retriever hanging out at the ramp hears the splash and sees the red and white ice box moving in the water.  He thinks that it has been thrown in there for him to retrieve!  He suddenly runs down the ramp, accelerating to a high speed, takes a leap and flies about three or four dog body lengths through the air and comes down just short of the box with his fore-paws jabbing right down into the side of Bill's neck.

The labrador takes a firm bite on the ice chest's handle and the shark and dog end up in a sort of tug o' war match with Bill as the rope.  The dog wants that box!  The shark wants that shoe!  Neither of them are aware of what is providing all the resistance, a clumsy man wearing a chew toy on each end of himself.

The dog is growling in determination and refusing to let go while the shark takes a turn around the floating dock's support pilings.  This wraps Bill's lanky body around the barnacle covered post.  The shoe sole tears off and the ice box pops off (popping sound) at the same time.  Bill floats up under the corner of the wood dock with slime and barnacles all over hisself.  He is assisted when the dog, after returning to shore and dropping the ice box at his master's feet, suddenly sees Bill in the water and rushes back into the water to save him.

As the dog manages to pull Bills tired and worn out limp carcass out of the water, up the ramp, you see his master's face. It is a jolly fat John Candy type guy and he points at Bill, and says with a grinning face, "Hey look!  It's Barnacle Bill! ... The Sailor!"

Gomer "Sea Legs" Pile (Keeton) and GARY (Segal) on floating catamaran at set location.

   Gomer dresses up like a frogman, in an attempt to have frog legs,
one step closer to having sea legs; hangs on to Gary for support.

Segal gets in some quality trap time
on the flying hull simulator.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Written by Gary Friesen
© Gary Friesen 2001