Going for the throat

No-one is known to have satisfactory seduced with that which he had offered to eat,
but there exists a long list of those who have seduced explaining what they were about to eat.
Manuel Vasquez Montalban

Food is the substitute of sex, or vice versa, like we have heard from most parts. It is not accidental that gluttony and lust are associated, among the seven mortal sins. For sex and food both give pleasure, and pleasure is immoral, therefore a sin. Which to us has become a delicate art of seduction with clear ideas: to eat well means to commit sin, as to fornicate.
A small premise: it is important to KNOW how to eat, as it is to know how to cook. For he which is the subject of our seduction expresses a liking for hamburgers, pay attention: it is an unambiguous mark that he doesn't know how to enjoy life, or else he is hasty (a sign of not knowing how to enjoy life), or he likes fast sex (another sign of not knowing how to enjoy life). In this case I suggest you to abandon him in the car park of the nearest McDonald if he is a type that doesn't deserve a second look, or abandon him in the car park of McDonald after having used his muscle, if he is deserving in your eyes (ie drop dead gorgeous). You avoid giving him your telephone number, or if you are nice, tell him "my number is in the telephone directory." you obviously won't have told him your surname name.
As Maestro Manuel Vasquez Montalban (an excellent writer and celebrity of gourmet cooking) explains, each dish gives a suggestion to the subject of seducation: you should not believe, that if you were to procure a thunderous success with one partner, it could send you flying out the door with an other.

Errors to avoid

For I have ascertained that no foods exist which is an aphrodisiac, it is likewise certain that some dishes are a pure desire: you should avoid the meats of any kind carefully, but for the sausage in general and the salami in peculiar. A beautiful rare fillet or a thick Florentine steak are excellent for a supper in company, they would result deadly in a tête à tête. Also avoid with care industrial desserts, Bindi type for understand: they are excellent but they have no soul. Also avoid the frying, if you have supper at home. The smell that are loosened in the preparation, if you don't have a more that excellent hood of aspiration, it would fatally cover your expensive eau de toilette.
Avoid to play with the food: messing up with the food arouses feelings of repugnance. If you leave anything in the dish, you will look at the food as to do it your apologyzes, then put the cutlery in the dish.
Avoid to exceed in the quantity of food, the Chinese wise man states that a good meal is when you arise from the table with a light sense of appetite. The excess of food would procure drowsiness, and make you sleepy.
Remember that food prior to be pleasant to the palate must obtain the placet of the eye: carefully avoid a poor presentation if the supper happens at home.
The temperature of the drinks must be ideal: like 12/14 °C for the white wines, 15/18 °C for the red wines.
Avoid to exceed with the wine: a pair of glasses help to relax the sphincters of the soul, each further glass represents 10% of possibility in minus of result in the seduction.
And remember, above all, that what is worst it the seduction is the hurry. A good meal, like good sex, should be appreciated slowly, tasting instant by instant the feelings that are awakened.

To the restaurant or at home?

It's OK if you find a restaurant that offers discreption and capability of privacy, otherwise would be preferable the supper at home. In fact it will be difficult to spark off the sufficient degree of capability of seduction at the restaurant to achieve the purpose: the seduction has need of confidence. The giggles of the stupid or envious neighbors could procure a light embarrassment that would defeat the seduction. Apart from the sexuality of the couple in object.
To this point anybody will contest me: but if we get to a tête à tête at home, it means that it's OK with him, then why waste time with bullshit?
Well, this would be the classical consumers of food and sex at wholesale. I suggest them to have supper at McDonald's and to have sex immediately after the approach, even behind a bush of the Ortomercato or of Montecaprino, in order to save time



A last suggestion: the time of staying at table must be correct, to get up an instant too early or to delay at table, would spoil the result of the seduction. You depict the formalities of preparation of the food with hot tone, alternating the look now to the dishes then to your partner.
Take your time for the preparation of the dishes, according to the elaborateness of the recipe. In case more courses, I there suggest warmly to put them on the table at the same time. Getting up from table to prepare the following course will interrupt the feeling in the air.

Well, I hope that the instructions are exhaustive, you however could contact me for clarifications and/or suggestions at my address ludig@tiscali.it