JAY: Welcome back! The beautiful Kathy Ireland is on her way out, a cute little eight-year-old boy from Home Alone 2, uh, 3, 3, 3. This kid is, I'm glad he got this part. He's a [something] boy. Alex Dalenz is here, he'll be out. And the man who is part, who be, Shine...[inaudible rambling]...David Healthcot. He's really a fascinating man. [Bla, bla, bla...] Alright, my first guest, one of the most beautiful women in the world, hugely successful supermodel, actress, also a good friend of the show's, a nice mom, our old buddy, Kathy Ireland.

(Kathy comes out to a wild audience in a spectacular brown dress.)

JAY: Very pretty! You know, I feel like I too should slip into something more comfortable. How ya doin', ma?

KATHY: I'm doing good! Happy birthday yesterday.

JAY: Thank you, thank you, thank you for those flowers; those were very sweet.

KATHY: See, these are my moms.

JAY: Oh, that's right, you mom wears, right...that's right. And speaking of moms, how's our little Eric, the big-headed baby, your baby?

KATHY: They, ya, see, you know...

JAY: Do people call him that now, since I've called him big headed? He is the biggest-headed baby I've ever seen, a giant head. The head's about 75, but it's handsome...it's a handsome baby.

KATHY: I have to say, in Eric's defense, the first time I did your show, I was pregnant, and you saw him grow, you know, on your show. And all babies, when they're little, they have big heads. But most children grow into their heads, and Eric has, he's proportioned now...

JAY: So his head is more...?

KATHY: You know, some people might, you know, they might catch up a little.

JAY: The baby is here.

KATHY: Yeah, yeah, he's in the back, playing with...

JAY: Can we...Eric, come on out. Eric, let's see, Eric, come on out. Well bring your baby out, Eric.

(A midget in a baby costume comes out to make the crowd really laugh.)

JAY: Aw, he's a beautiful baby.

KATHY: Er, Eric is potty trained.

JAY: It's, it's amazing. He really has grown into his head, and he looks...I'm about to say, he looks more like your husband, Greg, really.

KATHY: Thank you!

JAY: But he looks very, he looks like he's in nice shape, for...how old is he?

KATHY: He'll be three next year.

JAY: Three! He looks good for three. I mean, he's got real tone. I'm sorry to do that to you. How is Eric doing for real? Good, though?

KATHY: He's good. He's doing really good, yeah.

JAY: Well, you should've brought him. I kinda wanna see...we have a mark on the wall. Each time he's here, and, we put him there and see how much he's grown.

KATHY: Aw...yeah!

JAY: Now, wha, what are his interests? He's three now. Is he interested in...?

KATHY: He's, you know, it's funny, because I did not think I'd have to worry about women for a while. And, um, a few weeks ago, oh, I couldn't believe it. I did a couple of episodes of Suddenly Susan with Brook Shields, and I brought Eric to work with me. And, he met Brook Shields, and he looks up at her -- I've never seen him act this way before -- he looks up in awe, then he runs behind me, he gets all embarrassed and flustered, and he couldn't even speak to her or anything. And then we get home. We have this game that we play. And he'll say: "Mommy, who can you be?" And I have to guess, and then usually I'm Tigger, or Eel, or Mommy Bear.

JAY: And then you'll be anyone he wants.

KATHY: Yeah, you know, kinda...

JAY: It sounds like a great game. I'm not trying to...I think that's how you got Eric in the first place. Weren't your husband and you playing? I think it was, uh, as I remember, it was, uh, Pirate and the Slave Girl. Wasn't that the last one? So, so, so you'll be whoever he wants you to be.

KATHY: Tigger, or Winnie the Pooh or something. And I'm trying to guess. Rabbit, uh, Mickey Mouse. I'm guessing. He's like, "No! No!" He's getting more and more frustrated. And finally, he says, "Be that pretty lady from your work." And I said, "Oh, Brook." He said, "Yeah", and chased me. And he gets this huge...

(The crowd goes crazy.)

JAY: You know, I would stay away from the Gerber oyster food. Maybe that's what it is. Doesn't that seem a little young? He seems very advanced. I just started doing that till I was four.

KATHY: I, I was really surprised. I was, you know...A week later, he got...we were in Atlanta, with um, my soft manufacturer John Murrets, his two kids: Laura and Charles. Laura's this sixteen-year-old girl with hemp and beads in her hair. And she's sitting there talking about all the concerts that she's been to. She's adorable. And he's got that look again. We get back to the hotel -- same thing. He's like, "Mommy, who can you be?" And this time, you know, I knew. It's like, "Laura, right?" And then the next week, we go to Hawaii. I'm shooting my calendar. And he fell in love with a hula dancer. And, uh...

JAY: Now, have you seen him since? Did he run off or something, or what? I mean...

KATHY: I, I, luckily, I was able to get him home. His real little girlfriend, Isabella, who's four years old, wanted him to send a postcard. So were picking out Mickey Mouse, volcanoes, different, you know, landscapes. He goes to this hula babe, I mean, you know, one of those real kinda...

JAY: I think I know what you mean.

KATHY: That's what he wanted to send, so...

JAY: And he sent her that?

KATHY: Yeah.

JAY: That's kinda tough for a four-year-old to compete, really, with. Certain, genetic imbalances that don't allow 'er to compete on a fair basis.

KATHY: Yeah.

JAY: Well he sounds like he's growing up real quickly.

KATHY: Yeah.

JAY: Oh man, just a little too quickly, maybe.

KATHY: A little too quickly.

JAY: So how have you been...you know, I don't want to upset you about this. Now, you do a lot of commercials. What was the first commercial that you did, do you remember? Did you go out on auditions and fail? Did you fall in your face, and they go, "I'm sorry."

KATHY: I used to...auditioning was...auditioning for commercials is probably the hardest thing. I remember the first commercial I had to audition for: I was in New York, and it was for a hair product. And usually a hair product -- it's real easy. You go in, and you flip your hair around a couple of times.

JAY: Right.

KATHY: And that's it. But this was at Hunter College. And I get there, and they said, "Do you know how to play racquetball?" I didn't play racquetball, but I'm thinking: "How hard can racquetball be?" You know, piece of cake, you hit a ball with a racquet. No big deal.

JAY: Right, racquent, racquetball.

KATHY: Right, easy, easy. And, uh, they, they hook me up with this girl. They pair me up with her. And, I take one look at her. She's got beautiful hair in a do, long nails, make-up. She looked like Miss America. And I'm thinking, "Piece of cake. I'm gonna kick her butt." I mean, she just, you know, she was just too, too perfect. I thought I'll get her. So we start playing, and they're filming us, on the audition. And, um, she is amazing. She's just nailing that ball, right and left, all over the place. And I'm ju, I'm forgetting about the cameras, I'm forgetting I'm being auditioned, I just wanna hit that ball, and, uh, you know, have a chance with her. And so I jump up to hit the ball, I slam up against the wall, I go sliding down...

JAY: Ugh.

KATHY: ...I knock down the lights, my knee is bloody, it's dripping blood. I go home, you know, like "Don't call us, we'll call you." And about a month later, I'm turning on the TV, and I see her. She's playing racquetball, and then she's flipping her hair. You know, she got the commercial...

JAY: Awww, but see, you know, it's terrible. You know, I went to for audition once. I went for a commercial. And I'm waiting, and this is really true. And there were a group of people, and there was one girl who had a sign, she was said, around her neck, and it said "Pretty Girl." And another girl had to have a sign that said "Ugly Girl."

KATHY: Oh, that's awful.

JAY: I mean, it's terrible. I'm not gonna tell you which line I was gonna do for the guy part. Oh, I'm like a "Before Guy." It's like, are you the "Dorky-looking Guy"? Oh, hey, I was like "Dork Guy." They had a sign that says "Dork" on it.

KATHY: Oh, they must've, they must've been mistaken. They must be...

JAY: Yeah, sure, that's what it was. Now, you're doing a tractor race?

KATHY: Yes.

JAY: Are you driving the tractor?

KATHY: I am, I am. May 23rd, Long Beach, Kmart in Long Beach. And it's the Kmart Kids' Race Against Drugs.

JAY: Yeah.

KATHY: It's a wonderful campaign.

JAY: Yeah.

KATHY: Um, 200,000 kids are expected to be reached this year.

JAY: Oh, that's good.

KATHY: And I'm gonna be racing the tractors. And, uh, it's a lotta fun. Last time, uh...

JAY: Don't run over any kids with the tractor. Have you raced a tractor before?

KATHY: I did. Um, last time was in Orlando. Um, I actually, I came in first place in the Woman's.

JAY: Oh yeah, the Woman's Tractor Race? You don't look like the tractor racing type. But that's good...

KATHY: No.

JAY: ...but, congratulations.

KATHY: Thank you!

JAY: And say "Hi!" to Eric, the big-headed baby for me. Give him my best. I'm sure he'll look...bring him next time, so we can mark him on the wall.

KATHY: Well, he's, he's back there in the green room, playing with his trains.

JAY: Well, stick around for Alex. Alex will be out in a second. Be right back, with our eight little, uh...eight-year-old.....Kathy Ireland, you look great.