JAY: Welcome back everbody. Kathy Ireland is on her way out; uh, all the way from Hong Kong, this is the first show that he's doing. I'm honored that he, that he's here. I'm a big fan of this man: action star, Chow Yun-Fat. And of course, Swedish golfer, Jesper Parnevik. This is truly an international show: Asia, Sweden, America, they come from all over. My first guest, one of the most famous supermodels in the world...

(A fan whistles loudly.)

JAY: Ahum. Please hold your applause until the end. Now a big time designer with her own line of bathing suits. Please welcome our buddy, Kathy Ireland.

(Kathy comes out in a short, skimpy black dress.)

JAY: Wow. President Clinton didn't give you that, did he by any chance? That is a, that is a great, that is a great simple black dress. I love it.

KATHY: Well, thank you.

JAY: Oh, it's a great dress. I'm just admi.....and design is fabulous. Now is this one of yours? Did you do this one or is this one of those "off the rack" things?

KATHY: No, but I do have my line of uh, sportswear, is growing very rapidly. And um, I'm taking a lot of, uh...

JAY: Now you have your bathing suits that you designed. Are you gonna wear one for us?

KATHY: Yes.

JAY: Are you gonna do it?

KATHY: You know what, I brought my swimsuits, but I thought that maybe some audience members might want to volunteer.

JAY: So people: do you think that we can get women in the audience?

KATHY: Yeah, sure.

JAY: No, thank you, sir. How 'bout that young lady?

KATHY: Yeah. Great, great.

JAY: That...come on, come. Now we have, that lady there in black, with the glasses. Come on up, okay. How you doin'? Hi, I'm Jay. What's your name?

MODEL 1: Kristy.

JAY: What is it?

MODEL 1: Kristy.

JAY: Kristy, and...?

MODEL 2: Kelen.

JAY: Kelen, and...?

MODEL 3: Linda.

JAY: Linda, okay. Okay, go back...we have all the women's sizes? Okay, go backstage there, and they will, uh, someone from our intern program will talk to you. Gee, they almost look like professional models.

KATHY: Wha, what are the odds of finding, um...

JAY: What are the odds of finding three women so beautiful and yet, not, so willing to just try on clothes? It seems almost uncanny. Actually, you have men's stuff, right?

KATHY: Yes, um, I do. I'm coming out with a men's line of swimwear that'll be coming out soon.

JAY: You sent me that one. I modeled it for you.

KATHY: I did and I have to say: you are really my inspiration for my men's line.

JAY: Well show the suit. Here's me in her suit. As you can see, there I am.

(A picture is shown of a well-built man in trunks with Jay's head replacing the model's head.)

KATHY: You know, it just uh, it just does wonders to your physique.

JAY: It really does. Amazing. Now you still, uh...we talked about snowboarding last time. Now you told me you were working on an invention. You remember, you remember what I'm talking about?

KATHY: Yeah, uh, Greg and I, we went snowboarding, um, a couple weeks ago. And I went one day last year.

JAY: Right.

KATHY: I just didn't have a lot of time to dedicate to it. Have you tried it?

JAY: I, I don't really...I'm not a winter's...you know, I, I, I, I, I grew up freezing to death. I love California. Going back to the snow does not have a lot of interest in me.

KATHY: Well...it's fun. I love it, but you take a beating. I mean: last year when I went, I was landing on my butt all the time. And finally, I got so tired of the bruises and everything else, I grabbed some towels from the hotel and stuffed them down my pants, and I knew it looked ridiculous, but you get to the point where you don't even care. And uh, and then this year, when we went, I forget the towels. And um, I went in one of the ski shops and the guy said, "Oh, I remember you last year and, and, you know, we, we were kinda talking about what, what was wrong and..."

JAY: "She's really pretty but she's got a big fat ass" is what it is.

KATHY: Right. I came up with an invention. I think it's great.

JAY: An invention?

KATHY: And, and I'm um, I'm very busy wi...with my line with Kmart and I don't really have time to develop it, but it's up for grabs if anyone wants to do it: a butt-pad, for snowboarding.

JAY: But is stuffing a towel down your pants really an invention?

KATHY: No, no, no, no. I mean, really, really finessing it. I mean, I'm talking like a big, I think if you got a big diaper and you put padding on it and...I think it'd be great.

JAY: I can't think of anything more attractive. So what you're telling women is, who are already maybe a little self-conscious about wearing stretch pants already: "Just make you rear end look even bigger." So I mean...

KATHY: Well...

JAY: ...how many of those are you going to sell? When a woman puts it on and goes, "This looks great." You think that'll sell?

KATHY: Well, men, too. I think if everybody wears them, you know...

JAY: Guys will wear it in the front.

(Huge laughs.)

JAY: Now let me ask you something. Now I know you got an excercise video thing. Is this, is this yoga? Are you like a big yoga person doing all this?

KATHY: Nuh, no. I, I am working on a new exercise video.

JAY: Yeah.

KATHY: It's gonna be aerobics. But yoga is not something that I do. And I feel like, if I'm gonna do a video, it's gotta be something I do. I tried it once. When I was, um, about 8 years old, I went with my mom. She was going through a phase, whatever, and this was in the 70s, and uh, we said, "Okay, we'll check it out." And we went to the class and it was just so funny. The instructor was saying, "Pretend you're a willow tree swaying in the breeze." And I was trying not to crack up. And then we get into these awkward positions, all twisted up like a pretzel, and this man next to me, um, he farted, really louded, really louded. I was 8 years old. I was just cracking up, laughing, and then my mom started laughing and we both ran out of there, so embarrassed that we were laughing. And the poor guy, I mean that must have just been awful. But I never went back.

JAY: You never went back, so it was a trememdous experience for you. What a lovely story. Well how is, uh, how is your son, Eric? How's my baby doing? You know, it's so amazing that, now he talks. I remember you were, first time you here, you weren't pregnant, the next time you were pregnant, and then he was born, and then he was a little baby, now he walks in by himself. How's he doing? You didn't bring him today. I wanted to see him.

KATHY: Well, he wanted to come today. Um, we were having these terrible storms up in Santa Barbara. I could barely get here. I trudged through high water to get here.

JAY: I appreciate it. Is it bad?

KATHY: It was bad. Trees were down. We had, um, our power pole crashing down last night. It was exciting.

JAY: Yeah.

KATHY: But, um, but it was tricky to, to, to come down. He really wanted to come.

JAY: Oh.....well let's see if the girls from the audience, these women we picked at random, just.....I understand one of the girls is a pipefitter, isn't that correct?

KATHY: Oh, great, great.

JAY: Alright, let's, let's bring out these 3, uh, women, uh...

(The women come out one by one in Kathy's swimwear.)

JAY AND KATHY: Wow.

JAY: That looks very nice. It's amazing...Hi, girls.

KATHY: These suits are, they're mix-and-match. They look great.

JAY: Well hang on.....Now you say they're mix-and-match. Alright, I'll take the one on the end.

KATHY: The thing about these suits, they're so great, they're mix-and-match...

(Models 1 and 3 take off the first layer of their bottoms to reveal other bottoms.)

KATHY: ...and not only can you mix the patterns, but you can mix the sizes. I mean, not everybody is the same size on the top as they are on bottom. I mean, you're much bigger on top than you are on the bottom.

JAY: I wish it was the other way around. I'm just amazed at how un-self-conscious they are, in these suits, these girls. You know, most women would be so, so, so, you know, a bit more...

KATHY: Well, I think when you have the right fit and the right suit...

JAY: Right, well that's the right fit.

KATHY: ...it gives you confidence. And most people are terrified of going to the beach. But I think, when, um, when you've got a good fit, and beautiful people come in all shapes and sizes. And you gotta have a suit that fits you.

JAY: Well you know, we have one of your men's suits. One of our staff have volunteered to come out. Al, are you there? Let's see how Al looks.

(Big, fat Al comes out in red trunks and wraps his arms around Models 2 and 3.)

JAY: Hi, Al!

(All four models leave.)

KATHY: He looks, he looks great.

JAY: Really.

KATHY: But I think, uh, I think one of my suits I might find a little better fit for him.

JAY: Yeah. He's actually much...the suit on Al is so slimming. That's the nice thing about it.

KATHY: Yeah, it's got a nice line.

JAY: But Kathy, thank you very much. It's always a pleasure to see you.

KATHY: Thank you.

JAY: Good luck to your [something inaudible]. Be right back with Chow Yun-Fat right after this. Thanks for being a good sport.