It's Okay to Hate Your Pet Dragon
Do you find claw marks in your toilet paper, which I found
out is an amusement to the smaller Draco species? Are your
coffee cups missing handles, by the way, they make great chew
toys? I've found many a handle under the couch cushions. Do
your friends make excuses when you invite them over for dinner?
I think the "for dinner" part scares them. Are you afraid to
look under your bed for that misplaced book, wondering when you
will be pounced by a playful taloned fire exhaling lizard?
Then you too may be suffering from Draco peton phobus: The
fear that your pet dragon runs amok in your pristine house while
you are away at work.
But what can you do? You've tried everything to get him to
behave. You've tried pleading, scalding, and threatening him
until you where as blue in the face as he was. You've tried
giving him away, but all your friends have been over to your
house. You've even tried losing him in the grocery store between
the celery stalks and Brussels sprouts. "Look Wormy, doesn't
that look like your lost green brother?" As you quickly run out
the store only to come home and find him curled up on the couch,
remote in claw watching Sally Jessie.
And it wasn't his fault that your water bed burned down
because he fell asleep on your favorite feather pillow and found
out (too late) that he was allergic to the feathers. What a
mess. And what about the time he called 911 for pizza and the
police came to your house to arrest you for making prank calls
and you tried to explain to them that your pet dragon, Wormy,
thought it was an emergency because he was dying of hunger. And
they sent the little white men in the little white suits in the
little white truck to take you far far away. That's when you
give up and wonder what dragon steaks taste like.
Then your pet dragon looks up at you with his cute multi-lidded
eyes and snuggles your neck, blowing smoke rings around you.
You're hooked and he knows it.
"Hey! Get off the typewriter! Sorry, but if you would watch
where you put your tail you wouldn't get typed on. Okay, you can
curl up on my shoulder but don't burp in my ear. I still have
burn marks."
"See what I mean. It's okay to hate your pet Dragon as long
as you have an understanding. It's a love hate relationship." (
geocities.com/hollywood)