LATEST ENTRIES (3/21/03):
BOAT TRIP / zero stars (R)
Two friends (one played by Cuba Gooding Jr.) decide to embark on a
singles cruise to jumpstart their dormant libidos. One problem: the
cruise they go on just happens to be filled with horny gay men. So
bad it makes you feel like you're being imprisoned in your theater
seat.
BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE / 
(PG-13)
Steve Martin and his fellow cast members find themselves in a cliched
plot contraption that encourages them to act like hip black people,
if only perhaps to make Queen Latifah's obvious stand-out to appear
less so. A comedy with good intentions, but its formula and by-the-book
structure is simply exhausted, and the jokes are never very funny.
DARK BLUE / 
(R)
This stellar cop drama is set against the horrendous backdrop of the
early 1990s Los Angeles, just mere breaths away from the reading of
the Rodney King verdict and the street riots that followed. The movie
is never quite about events, but interior motives. Kurt Russell is
amazingly effective as a cop whose hatred for others compromises his
integrity, and the movie surrounds him with supporting players who
all share a level of corruption within the legal system. One of the
year's best movies so far.
DREAMCATCHER / 
(PG-13)
The latest screen adaptation of a populat Stephen King horror novel
revolves around four friends, who find a man lost in the woods, bring
him to their cabin, and realize their mistake when it turns out he
is harvesting something deadly inside him. How in the world this idea
can splinter into so many directions, I dunno--the movie utilizes
alien invasion, bloodthirsty creatures, possession, military conspiracies
and deadly viral outbreaks without the slightest regard to relevance
or purpose. The movie starts off promisingly, but splinters into utter
madness. In the end, the fact that there's any kind of conclusion
to all this lunacy is shocking.
TEARS OF THE SUN /
(R)
Bruce Willis is the head of a Special-Ops unit assigned to apprehend
an American doctor, two nuns and a priest from the Nigerian jungles,
where a group of rebel forces is just about ready to unleash an "ethnic
cleansing" on all its innocent civillians. The movie, alas, has
no shape or focus beyond what is required of a typical summer blockbuster,
and the very notion that we as viewers can accept a group of stone-faced,
unflinching and morally fragmented soldiers as heroes is a bit insulting.
WILLARD / 
(PG-13)
A remake of the 1971 cult classic, in which a man with no friends
and no social skills befriends a basement rat, and soon finds himself
the keeper of thousands of ferocious rodents. Starts off promisingly,
with a silly but exciting edge, but the movie quickly descends into
cold chaos. This isn't mindless or even innocent entertainment, but
viscious, mean-spirited and despicable crap. Those expecting otherwise
will be sorely angered by what is thrown on the screen.
OLDER ENTRIES:
THE 25TH HOUR / 
(R)
Spike Lee examines the lives of a select few wanderers whose lives
are reshaped or re-examined by the disasters of September 11 in New
York City. Edward Norton provides the director with his outlet of
anger and injustice, and the movie's verbal lashes at society and
culture are startlingly realistic, a cry of bravery that might have
been heard long before had the American public not been told to keep
up a happy charade following the World Trade Center disasters.
ADAPTATION /
(R)
The latest collaboration between director Spike Jonze and writer Charlie
Kaufman is nearly as brilliant as their "Being John Malkovich."
In the rarely-emphasized "movie-within-a-movie" approach,
Nicholas Cage plays Kaufman following the filming of "Malkovich,"
as he struggles desperately to adapt the bestselling book "The
Wild Orchid" into a successful screenplay. Needless to say, his
result is "Adaptation," a film about the making of itself.
BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE /
(R)
Michael Moore's courageous and startling document of the American
obsession with violence ruffles more than a few feathers, but not
just because the director's stance is generally antigun. Facts, opinions,
circumstances and coincidences are exposed during the two-hour running
time like a government conspiracy file surfacing for the first time,
and though we don't always agree with messages, approaches or even
specific scene inclusions, it's hard not to walk away without wanting
to discuss the issues further. Now that is what documentary
filmmaking should be about!
CHICAGO / (PG-13)
First-time director Rob Marshall undertakes the task of converting
the Bob Fosse stage show into a movie musical, but his efforts, alas,
don't add up to much. "Chicago" is shrouded in annoyance,
bland delivery and an unnerving sense of claustrophobia, and of the
major actors featured in the ensemble cast, only Catherine Zeta-Jones
and Queen Latifah emerge as remotely plausible. One of the most overrated
Oscar contenders of our time.
DAREDEVIL /
(PG-13)
Fashioned from a relatively low-key comic book saga, "Daredevil"
sees Ben Affleck undertake the role of a blind superhero whose other
senses experienced heightened sensitivity after the accident that
rendered his eyesight useless. On his obligatory crime-fighting voyage,
he meets the dashing Elektra, uncovers the plot of the Kingpin, and
even matches wits with the dangerous Bulls-Eye. Not the best of the
comic book adaptations, but enjoyable, true to form, and compelling
in several ways regardless.
DARKNESS FALLS /
(PG-13)
Tooth fairies aren't scary or even remotely unnerving, but the makers
of "Darkness Falls" try their darndest to remedy that situation.
Rather than developing any kind of deep psychological agenda with
this premise, though, they simply cave into conventional horror by
throwing lots of loud and swift sequences of action at us. Needless
to say, little of it is scary or amusing.
FAR FROM HEAVEN /
(R)
Julianne Moore is marvelous in Todd Haynes' much-hyped 1950s social
and family drama, as a woman who has no love life but then starts
having feelings for the local black gardner, who gives her the attention
that her husband is incapable of. The very rich set design and photography
are big pluses, but this is basically just "American Beauty"
and "The Ice Storm" under the thumbprint of a Douglas Sirk
wannabe.
FINAL DESTINATION 2 /
(R)
As a general rule of thumb, sequels to mildly successful horror films
aren't generally acceptable, but "Final Destination 2" has
a perspective in mind plausible enough to garner recognition. This
isn't the creepy thrill-ride that its predecessor is, but rather a
hilarious and silly excursion through gruesome absurdity that leaves
many audience members in intentional hysterics. Worth seeing strictly
for its undeniable kitsch value.
GANGS OF NEW YORK /
(R)
Martin Scorcese returns to the visionary brilliance that he has been
seperated from with his last few endeavors in "Gangs of New York,"
a vibrant and compelling period drama that is dark, violent, wrapped
in history and played out with dramatic brilliance. Daniel Day Lewis
is award-worthy as Bill the Butcher, the leader of the native gang
of the Five Points area in New York. DiCaprio emerges as a weak spot
at times, but that's okay, because the movie is seldom dull or overstated.
THE GURU / 
(R)
This insipid and dry comedy about an Indian who ventures into America
searching for success and fame is one of the most amateurish movies
Hollywood has done in recent years, filled with such clunky scenes
like one in which the stars dress in Indian attire while singing to
one of the final numbers from "Grease." The modern "Ishtar"
in almost too many ways to mention.
THE JUNGLE BOOK 2 /
(G)
If the first film wasn't problematic enough, Disney decides to louse
up their animated legaciy by unleashing this lackluster and repetitive
animated sequel in theaters instead of on video store shelves. In
either case, parents are wasting their money here; the movie has no
spark, no imagination, and barely has the energy to keep its own characters
interested, much less the tykes in the audience.
OLD SCHOOL /
(R)
The latest gross-out buddy comedy is a return to the tradition of
the greats, eyeing itself more on character reactions rather than
specific ploys of extreme perversion. Will Ferrell is outwardly brilliant
as Frank the Tank, a guy who is so dimwitted he barely remembers his
own name half the time. Lots of great isolated scenes as well, such
as one involving Andy Dick teaching a class on oral sex. Not overstated
or even emphasized by plot, but funny and watchable regardless.
THE RECRUIT /
(PG-13)
Al Pacino plays a CIA recruiter who has acquired a young and talented
computer expert played by Colin Farrel for Central Intelligence training.
But who what purpose, we ask? The movie doesn't have much of a clue
about anything, other than telling us that "everything is a test,"
throwing characters into sticky situations and then yanking out the
rug from underneath us like it's some sort of colossal surprise. Boring,
confusing, and infuriating.
SECRETARY /
(R)
The sick and twisted struggle for power that goes on in this bizarre
endeavor leaves viewers with some of the most strange facial expressions
you would ever expect to see; even scarier, watching viewers form
these mutated looks is perhaps greater, more amusing and plausible
than anything the movie itself has to offer. Starring Maggie Gyllenhaal
in a "breakout" performance, the film is laced so severely
with sexual tension and S&M innuendo that it lacks all sense of
satisfaction. Save your money or go rent a porn.
SHANGHAI KNIGHTS / 
(PG-13)
The follow-up to "Shanghai Noon" starring Jackie Chan and
Owen Wilson take their wisecracking sidekick characters onto British
turf, where a plot to murder the English royal family has a mysterious
link to the death of Chan's own father back in China. Good comic timing
for characters who have the attention span of drywall, but not spectacular
by any stretch.
