Disclamier: Obviously I don’t own these characters

or the copyrights to them. They are the property of George Lucas.

And I have no intention of making any money from this story.

So there.

Note: This story first appeared in an off-off-Broadway

fanzine called "Hibernation Sickness" in the early 1990’s.

It’s somewhat modified from the original.

But the flavor is the same.

The carbonite covered him like a blanket of ice. In

suspended animation he could not move, could not

feel, could not scream. Even his mind had shut down.

All except for the part of the brain that remembers.

His memories varied. Some were of incidents which took place

in childhood. Some were of exploits done as an intrepid and

law-bending smuggler. Other memories focused on betrayal by

the one he had called a friend, the one who had got him in this hell.

He remembered his Wookiee co-pilot and longtime companion in

smuggling. There was the young man he’d called kid, the one he’d

saved from twice from the hands of death.

There were memories about the princess. Most of his remembrances

were of her. The long sequence about her always started from the

point he considered pivotal in their relations...

Marching up the long aisle to receive a medal for destruction of the

Death Star. His eyes focused on the young woman in white. For the

first time in his jaded life, he found beauty personified in her small,

slim form.

He walked up the steps, waited for the medal to be put around his

neck by her. She did so, and as he backed away he winked. Her

smile was graceful, yet...perhaps...accomodating...

Repairing the Falcon while hiding out in the "asteroid." He came to see

how she was doing. She struggled with a valve that refused to close. He

tried to help, she moved away. Another of their frequent arguments might

have ensued. But what happened instead confused both...

After a volley of words, he came close to her, kissed her before she could

fully resist. How much time passed during that kiss? He didn’t know, but

when Goldenrod interrupted, the sustained moment ended...

The carbonite chamber. In the misty white exhaust clouds from the freezing

unit he faced his destiny. Leading up to this moment he had felt fear, anger,

the desire to kill his betrayer with his bare hands. He realized

these emotions wouldn’t change the predicament . So he chose to feel regret.

Regret that he hadn’t told her about his love for her.

It had come full circle from that first sign of reciprocated interest. In

between the constant arguments and the subtle flirtatious gestures

there had been feelings. Desire, fear of rejection, fear of total commitment

to a person, hesitation at getting involved with someone from another social

class, uncertainty of being able to satisfy expectations.

In the end, love climbed over the barriers, stood on a peak and witnessed

two lost souls finding one another...

They kissed one last time. Stormtroopers seperated them and took

him to the platform. He was bound to it. As it lowered he heard her

say "I love you". Three words that sealed their bond forever,

no matter the outcome of all this.

His response to her declaration seemed typical of him. But after

everything he had been through there would never be a "typical"

him again.

If he ever survived...

Short Description: What might Han have been thinking while in carbonite?