The Christmas Goose Sayeth:
ADVICE TO JUSTIN
--Don't use phrases already coined by Will Smith.
--When your 'fro starts to resemble an azalea, cut it.
--Let the audience sing when you can't hit certain notes in IWYB.
--Lose the "Long-John-Silver" Earring.
--...Just don't lose it to the other ear.
--Don't get your dreds too tight. Causes brain damage.
--Screaming like a girl on rollercoasters doesn't do much for your manly image.
--Violent tendencies with golf clubs can suggest a deeper problem.
--Razors are cheap. Use available resources.
--Keep opinions about large bowls of Jell-O to yourself.
--Thanks for the goatee. It's real cute.
--Don't be consumed by seemingly unsatisfiable Twinkie urges. --Don't take your video camera EVERYWHERE. (If ya know what I mean)
--Three words: "I luv my momma!!"
--It's not the end of the world if your powder cracks.
--Beaver faces can be frightening. VERY frightening.
--At all costs, avoid the PooFoo Song.
--We know you love your thigh, but try not to show it in public please.
--Don't feel the need to express your love for Beanie Babies. Its endearing, but a wee bit on the feminine side.
--You're not the mac-daddy. Sorry to burst your bubble.
--A little fun doesn't hurt you.
--The evil grin is good. Real good.
--"Sanity?" SANITY!?!
--Keep the six-pack. It really helps.