"What Really Happened"
by Some Guy
LUCAS HEFFER (1984- )
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| Many years ago, somewhere in the newighborhood of spring 2002, I created this former masterpiece of internet graphic design to address the most pressing issues of the day, the involuntary celibacy (virginity) of myself and a few of my friends. Since then, I have made many a bitch my bitch, and sadly, I have lost contact with a few of the old crew. Some have apparently castrated and requested that I remove their names, so they could get a real job, or quell the disapproving stares and accusatory banter of friends and family, or someother horseshit like that. Pussies, all of 'em. Fuck it though, I still got most of their bios and nearly everything of interest to the study of modern hilarity that I wrote in High School, my first and only year of college, and shortly thereafter. As of March 1st, 2006, I work for damn near minimum wage in a really cool music production factory forty hours a week, trying to save up for a realy shitty car. I'm also trying to pay the exorbitant bills related to my latest court proceedings, repossession of the only car I may have loved more than my undeniably pimpin' 92 LeSabre, the xBizzle forRizzle, and the sizable debt I got myself into when I thought it'd be a good idea to drive out to Los Angeles for a few days back in August. Turns out, yeah, not so smart. Now I'm broke, and pissed off at the world. Hell, I might just start writing again. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I hereby present one of the finest nonfictional literary undertakings I have ever read, a third-party account of my first mushroom trip: "What Really Happened" by Some Guy |
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| And, of course, my version. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| NEW STUFF(HAH!) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| It seems that nowadays most of the people that view this site are old friends, schoolmates, etc. checking for updates or whatever. There are also those, however, that either accidentally reach it, or are acquaintances of either of the two previously mentioned groups and are not known to me. For anyone who is not personally familiar with me, and that's a lot more than you'd think, I have written the following piece, an abridged autobiography of sorts which may provide insight toward my point of view, or thoroghly confound you: LUCAS HEFFER (1984- ) |
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| Dean Chuang, Matt Holm, Phil LaMartina, Dana Marzovilla, Gino Stolfa, (some other Dick decided to have his name removed) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ONWARD TO PAGE TWO: EVERYTHING ELSE | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| This site has Matt Holm's infamous Treasurer speech in its entirety, with parenthetical "reminders". Click Here. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| OK, now that youre done here,check out Gino Stolfa's site.; That'sright, the lazy bastard actually didsomething constructive. Click here. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Chris Amico's Anti-Me page: www.oocities.org/snurd892 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| THE GUESTBOOK IS BACK. SIGN IT. NOW. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| If you think for some reason that I'll care what you think, and the guestbook just isn't your style, you can email me: | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| HolyHefferStrikesBack@msn.com | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Download AOL Instant Messenger | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||