Story Copyright © Pure & Simple Collection Vol.1 - Background by For A Special Baby

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~ Babies ~

A good friend of mine recently became a first-time grandmother. Her grandson is only 3 months old but has already become one of the most important people in her life. It is such an absolute joy for her, just to spend some quality time taking care of her own grandson. You can sense that maternal love when she holds him. She is eagerly attentive and wrapped up in his every little gesture and sound. It could be her very own baby if you didn't know her family history. Her oldest daughter is the proud mother.

In a way this grandson is her own child. She see "things" in him that continually remind her of herself and her oldest daughter. "He will always resemble me in some form or another. When I look at him I see a piece of me." It could be a gesture, a character trait, a physical "look" or even a simple quirky mannerism. She commented on the fact that her grandson clenches his fists all the time, like she and her daughter do. It is one of those distinctive "family habits" that three generations now share. He also furrows his brows (another family trait). It is these things that make the maternal bond so complete and instinctive. The seeds and "birthmarks" of the family are passing from generation to generation. There is comfort in this sense of continuation. "If I were to die, not only will a part of me carry on through my daughter, now it will carry on through another new generation through my grandson."

All those instinctive parenting skills from a long time ago are still there. You never really lose the skills because they are "in-bred". She explained that it is a lot easier now because she is more mature and she has more "life skills" and patience from her own experiences in life. She doesn't have to worry, that her grandson will do something unexpected or dramatic that she won't be able to handle. She calls it "the grandma touch". Everything is much more manageable and even quite enjoyable. She says being a grandmother has definite advantages. All the skills and tricks she learned and enjoyed as a mother are there to experience all over again. It is fun just to practice now and not have all that parental responsibility. It is one of life's new pleasures for her as a mother, a grandmother and as a woman.

She explained that the true beauty of this whole new experience for her as a new grandmother, is that this baby is truly "hers" but only part-time and only when she wants to be with him. He is really just a "rental" ("thank god" she says). She can spend as much time as she wants with her grandson and then gets the luxury of handing him back to her daughter when she has had enough. It is just too good a deal to pass up. The other fact that she made a point to tell me was "I now have a boy". She will now have that extra pleasure of raising a boy for the first time in addition to her own 2 girls.

The facial expressions of a young baby are amazing. They seem so innocent, helpless and dependent. When you see them, you realize that they have their hands full, just trying to comprehend and absorb everything that is happening around them. They are very curious, so alert and "wired" to pick-up all sorts of stimuli. They are fascinated with even the simplest of things like slow moving colored lights, the rattle of keys, the feel of the wind. They smile and their eyes open so wide. They are truly sensing the simplest of experiences for the very first time and they are in awe. They don't know what it is but they smile anyway.

Any woman who is a mother or a parent will be helplessly drawn to a new-born as if it were her own. They will look, touch and be captivated for hours, by another woman's child. They fuss over it and make all those strange noises (as if the baby really cares). They try to talk ever so softly, fondle and caress it or even hold it in their own arms. It is nothing more than the sheer pleasure of being close to a new-born again. If you are a man and have the opportunity to see a woman interact with a new-born baby, you will see the purest and most beautiful love a woman can give. It is truly captivating to watch a woman in her "natural" element and you will be totally impressed. It is in most women's "human nature" to take care of and interact with babies. This definitely isn't a typical "guy" thing (but it is amazing to watch).

Many women I have known over the years have seen some dramatic new changes in babies and they are all saying the same things. They offered these observations to me. New-born babies are definitely growing up faster nowadays, more than any other previous generation. Babies seem to be progressing way too fast. There is a marked acceleration in their learning and development of even the simplest of motor skills. Different "stepping stones" and stages are happening sooner. We now seem to encourage babies to do new things, unlike previous generations who preferred just to let babies be little babies and to let them develop at their own pace. We want them to grow up faster. We are all in a hurry to have them go through their first crawl, their first words, their first steps and so on. We may be our own worst enemies as mothers. We love to take care of them but we also want them to grow up. There are other things to do in a woman's life now and raising a child is only one part. It is a very important element but it is no longer a woman's sole purpose. We do have a "life" that we want to live...

Boy, did I get a mouthful. I got a lecture on feminism, woman's rights, motherhood and raising children all in one breath. They weren't angry conversations, just very truthful ones. The women who told me these stories are very concerned about what seems to be happening with babies but not one of them seemed to be upset or alarmed. They said it's a "woman thing". Men are just dumb and don't understand.

I never knew any of this before (so I must be dumb). I was amazed to hear all this information. I have had many wonderful experiences with all kinds of children before but I have never noticed the "changes". My view is that "Mother Nature" must be adapting many new children "genetically" to the way society is going to need them in just a few short years. The world is a much more difficult and more complex place than it used to be, even 20 years ago. Maybe this is an "evolutionary" way to prepare our children for what they have to face in the future. It may sound far-fetched but it does make sense. There are far too many new complex tasks (like computers and advancing technology) that all children will "have to know" simply just to survive. Many of the things we opted to learn out of interest and fascination, they will have to do instinctively. It may not be fair, but that is the reality of the world we live in. Babies can't be babies for long.

Pure and simple..

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- This Storyworx page updated May 10th, 1998 -