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Enjoy your stay Thanx for visiting |
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Enjoy your stay Thanx for visiting |
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~ One Day At A Time ~
I try to live my life one day at a time. I've found that life deals you so many curves and options every day, that sometimes the only thing you can do is live through each day one at a time. I've been caught in a trap several times trying to plan lots of things weeks in advance, just to turn around and cancel or postpone plans that I was really looking forward to. It's a terrible way of trying to keep a positive outlook on your life. I've found that the disappointment and frustration is "self-inflicted" most of the time just because I have expectations. There seems to be a need for connectivity with my friends. It's my way of trying to protect myself from the fear of being alone. I know better now and have chosen not to worry about it.
Fear and worry about the future is a waste of time. You have no control over the future anyway, so why trouble yourself. Even if you feel instinctive about things that should happen in the future, there is still no reason to worry or fear that the future will turn out any different than what you expect. What will be, will be, regardless of your beliefs. Your only influence will be on that day, when the thing or event you've been anticipating does happen. By living one day at a time your expectations may be a lot more realistic and much more attainable. You'll be able to enjoy the day's experiences for what they are, one event at a time. It keeps your emotional "savings bank" in check by dealing with things as they happen. You will definitely feel calmer and more in-tune with your surroundings. You'll feel no reason to be defensive or to be angry because there are no expectations either good or bad.
There will always be unexpected things that will turn up. If you live for the day, things can be managed more effectively dealing with them immediately (good or bad). You will have more strength to deal with issues "head-on", unlike other times when distractions can cause you to fell weaker and unfocused. You will be amazed with your "new-found" power and resilience.
Living for today prevents you from "jumping time" in anticipation of a future event. A lot of times we waste several days because we're looking forward to that one day in the future, when something we eagerly await is supposed to happen. The classic example is looking forward to the weekend and getting by the "Monday & Tuesday blahs", These days just seem to drift by, with no significant developments or rewards. Most of us are content just to "waste them". Jumping days is like trying to forfeit time. You don't really care what is happening on the days in-between and your heart just isn't in it. You are existing rather than living. People can sense the difference. You may appear distracted and removed, like you're on a different planet (the Monday blahs). You may be edgy and not quite so talkative or attentive. All I can say is, don't do it! Live for the day. You can only live it once, then it's gone forever. Why waste any of them? If that special day is meant to be, it will happen regardless of how you live the days leading up to it. You might as well enjoy every single day that you do have. How would you feel if this "event" turns out to be mediocre or doesn't "pan-out" at all? If it were me, and I wasted the week, I would feel disappointed. Mondays and Tuesdays are good days to get those chores done. If you value weekdays with as much importance as a weekend, you shouldn't feel as much disappointment if things don't work out. There may even be some left-over enthusiasm to "re-book", if it's the weather or an unforeseen road-block that forced the plans to change. The trick is to plan something fun and exciting for yourself everyday so that each day feels like a Saturday or Sunday.
Planning 2 to 3 days in advance is all you need to feel happy and to sustain a sense of purpose and drive. Things seem to have an uncanny way of falling into place "just in time". Friends will call at the last minute to invite you over. Family members may ask for your help with someone or something that just cropped up. Someone may call you looking for extra volunteer time to help out on an upcoming community event. Your significant other may have plans for you that you are not even aware of (a surprise). Remember to plan one or two really nice things just for yourself everyday, and maybe a couple of things for tomorrow or a week ahead. The beauty of being "under-booked" is flexiblity. Most of the things that happen to you, will be brand new. It will buy you the time to have the luxury of freedom.
Being single has an inherent advantage of giving you freedom. Independent freedom (even if it's only a few hours everyday) allows you to do things spontaneously and with enthusiasm. There is no agenda and you are open to virtually any suggestion that comes your way. You are living your life by the seat of your pants. It's actually quite fun but it can be quite lonely if you don't have a strong sense of self-confidence. You have to rely on the premise that there will be enough things to do.
If you are married or have children, freedom comes at a price. It's up to you to figure out how important your freedom is. There may be responsibilities and pressures from other people, that make your personal freedom all the more precious. Demand it, take it and fight for that freedom with a vengeance. It's your responsibility to dedicate some time to your own agenda and well-being. If not, you will resent the denial of time and you will erode the value of your character to others. You're not to feel guilty about this! It's your right and they will understand, if you make it a necessity "up front".
There is a wonderful feeling of pride and accomplishment that comes from having a full day. If you do it well, here is what one of your days "could" look like. There would be just enough time to take a shower, have some breakfast, drive to work, say hello to everyone, pick-up those phone messages, answer that e-mail, talk to that customer, go to the meeting, write that project report, have enough time for lunch with that client and friend, pay those old bills, talk to that company, do all those deliveries and pick-ups on the way home, feed the family, spend time with the kids, go to that movie you've been dying to see, having just enough energy to do that one last chore before bed, make passionate love to your spouse, then finally go to sleep! It's been hectic but it's been a good day. Every day should go this well. I can't believe how much I got done.
By the way, I planned one thing today... to wake-up and smell the coffee brewing in the kitchen. The rest was all new.
Pure and simple...
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- This Storyworx page updated May 10th, 1998 -