Well, something happened to me a few xxx(forgot how long :P) ago, those who knew me real well through icq (especially Stella, who is one of my closer sister) already knew this a long time ago. This 'catastrophe' actually changed my whole life. I didn't want to believe it even till now... If you want to know what is it, just scroll down and have a look.
I met a girl a few years ago(i think). She was very friendly and really attracted me. I'm not sure whether I have feelings for her because I think since she was so good, she must have a good partner. So, I just hide my feelings because I'm afraid I'll scare her away. So we just became good friends and we just enjoyed ourselves(with other friends, of course) and discussed about school works and stuff... When either one of us have problems, we would work out the solution together. I felt so happy with her even though she didn't know my feelings for her. Not until one day.
I phoned her one night to discussed about school works. After a few minutes, she asked me whether I have a girlfriend or a girl whom I loved secretly. At first, I hesitated to answer. But she kept pestering me, and finally, I told her that I loved her. Then, it was total silence. I gulped and think did I say something wrong. Then she replied that she had the same feelings for me too. I was just stunned and surprised. I couldn't think anything better than this. I felt that I was at the top of the world(hee my first try). So, in the end, she agreed to be my girl friend(gf for short).
And I blushed and my face became as red as a tomato.
Life was like normal after that. We did things together. Sometimes we helped each other out and helped others too. We were very happy these meaningful things. But all these wonderful things had to come to a stop.
The heartbreak came during a holiday. I was sleeping in my room and suddenly a phone came in and woke me up. I was told that she was gone. I was so stunned...couldn't believe it...wish I was dreaming... I went there and asked, but I knew I was too late. She went to a place far far away and will not come back. I cried that day and couldn't sleep. I believe that I'm responsible for it because we were very quiet and doing our own things. If I knew this would happen, I would give her more of my time. I was so depressed that day until now. I still refuse to believe it. It just came too 'unexpected'. It was way too fast. I still couldn't accept the truth. The truth is so painful and tormenting.
O Mortals, what is Love?
That binds beyond life on Earth?
To all corners in a pair we fly,
Braving summer and winter by and by...
Union is bliss, parting is woe.
Agony is boundless for a lovelorn soul.
O sweetheart, give me a word...
As trails of clouds drift forward.
Amid moutains capped in snow,
Whither shall my lonesome shadow go?
So, for you guys/girls out there who are secretly loving a girl/guy. Tell her/him your feelings now! I urge you to do it today. If you keep insisting on tomorrow, tomorrow might be too late and you'll regret it. Treasure what you have now, for these things would not last forever. One day, you might regret it like me who taken these things for granted. I do not wish this same thing would happen to you. As for me, I'm still in depression...sigh...but I know, life must go on. I know I must go through this period of life so that her soul will rest at ease.
So, think about it.
Your partner in life, is not someone you can live with, but it's someone you cannot live without.
It's your choice whether to believe the story above or not. But think about it!