Read What Others Have Shared
(September 1998)

There Is Hope In Knowing That You Are Not Alone

September 29, 1998
From: Lori
E-mail: duv419@aol.com

i am a christian wife & mother of 3 & have struggled with clinical depression for 4 years. for me, depression is like wearing a mask. to others i can manage to appear happy, confident & strong. beneath the mask i am hurting, feeling inferior & ready to break. what bothers me is when others have the opinion that depressed people should just "snap out of it" god has carried me when i wanted to give up...held on to me when i wanted to let go. his mercy & love have sustained me throughout this painful struggle.

2 corinth 12:7-10 has inspired me. paul was given a "thorn in his flesh" which he begged god to take away. god chose not to take it away, but taught paul that His power is made perfect in weaknessess. i can be a living demonstration of christ's power when i depend on Him. praise god & thank you for your willingness to help others through your honesty & testimony. may god bless you always.

September 22, 1998
From: Simon
E-mail:sc_ton1@hotmail.com

Here is something I would like to share.

What would you do when all your hopes & dreams are dashed, all your likes & interests lost?
You don't understand what and why insensible fears and phobias loom
fears of uncertainty
fears of loneliness
fears of criticism
fears of failure

A darkness, an emptiness, a void wanting to be filled - something which nothing seems to satisfy but God and only when He chooses.
Everything takes effort - effort to express myself
effort to motivate an unmotivated soul.
effort to concentrate
effort to rise from this bottomless, deep pit.

I recognise the symptoms, I notice the signs. I seek help. Cognition does not seem to give comfort. The feelings overwhelm. I try to snap out of it but it seems impossible. I pray but God seems so far away Yet He claims to be always present. Friends are but a phone call away and ready to help. But how can they help when you, yourself do not understand yourself?
Feelings of loss, guilt and sadness - hopelessness and despair.

God is love - He understands. He is my creator - He knows my innermost thoughts and what makes me tick. God was there when Jesus, Job and Elijah were alone. He comforted them in their trials and temptations. Not that I'm worthy to be classed with them nor with Peter who walked by faith on water. He will supply all my needs and not test us beyond what we can bear. He will not fail you nor allow any disaster to fall on you. He will command His angels concerning you to lift you up so that you will not trip and fall. So be strong and courageous my heart. Rest in Him!

September 7, 1998
From: Lisa
E-mail:counselor2b@yahoo.com

Hi. My depression came after a painful divorce and then numerous tragic circumstances in my life. I'm a born-again Spirit-filled minister, and I really struggled with dealing with this deep darkness that threatened to overwhelm me. As a mature Christian, let alone a minister, wasn't I supposed to be able to overcome anything with God's help? There were so many times when life just seemed too much...I was just so tired of dealing with painful events in my life.
Fortunately for me, I had Christian friends who suspected something was at the root of my changed behaviour...not answering my phone or my door, not going to functions I previously would have attended...and these friends suggested I go see a medical doctor to see if there could be some physical problem. Well, to make a long story short, after much struggle with myself and God, I went and was diagnosed with depression. My doctor told me that after so many emotionally traumatic events I had dealt with, that the chemistry in the brain changes, and this was causing my depression. Of course an antidepressant was prescribed. Again I struggled with God and myself, not wanting to admit that I needed to take a little pill every day to be what I considered "normal". But finally God shared with me through a friend that taking an antidepressant is no different than taking medication for heart disease, or sugar diabetes...that it was just another physical part of the body that needed some help.
I was on Zoloft for about two years altogether and I was ok with that...but God chose to heal me completely, for which I thank Him! I was at a church service about 40 miles from my home and the evangelist, who was from Austraila, gave a word of knowledge, that there was someone there suffering from a chemical imbalance in the brain, and God wanted to heal them tonight...well, Praise God, it didn't take me long to go to the front of the church for prayer, during which God miraculously set me free from depression.
There have been times that it has tried to come back, but I have fought it with the Word of God and by Praising Him, and thankfully, to this day I have not had to be treated for it.
I wanted to share my story to say I know what it's like, how much it hurts emotionally, and how few people really understand what clinical depression is like. I would say to anyone reading these testimonies, depression is a real physical problem, not just a lack of faith or an emotional slump one can pull themselves out of. Do some research on it, and then share the compassion of the Lord in helping others deal with this problem. Blessings to All...

September 2, 1998
From: Donna
E-mail: dmitchem@hom.net

Hi....

I don't know if I can shorten this nightmare enought to write about it or not. Let me start by saying a am a 49 year of female. All of my life,( with the exception of the the death of my best friend, my father, when I was 14,) I was healthy as a horse! I taught school for 20 years, the last school for 9 years. The day before school was to start in 1989 I became very ill. After many hospitalizations, surgeries and etc. I was diagnosed with Chron's Disease. Needless to say I missed a great deat of school from 1989 to 1992. My first encounter with depression came in 1991 when, after havind led my girls slftball team to a state champions, I colapsed one day at school. The doctor diagnosed it as acute exhaustion and depression. HOW COULD I BE DEPRESSED? I JUST WON A STATE CHAMPIONSHIP? It was all down hill from there. Amist all the bouts of depression, I would rebound for a short while and maintain my teaching and coaching. I devoted my entire being to that school, it! s teams and my children. We won 8 state championships between 1990 and 1995. However, the administration thought I might miss school again, too much, so they did not renew my contract. Needless to say I was totally devistated.

I have been a Christian since 1975, born again, sprit filled. I worked unendingly in the church. But, the depression had no mercy on me and neither di God, or so it feels when the depression gets so bad. I felt many times like comitting suicide but something in my being wouldn't let me go through it.

People would say---You are a Christian, if you just had enough faith you would be healed of this forever! Bologny!!!! Pull yourself up by your bood straps they would say---little did they know that my boot straps were broken ! God is testing you---well, when will the test end? You have to claim it------------- do they I am stupid as well as depressed? Of course I have claimed it a thousand times! And on the list goes. You'd wonder if those "Christian friends and friends at all.

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! one understands what depression is like unless they have been there. To me it is like being in a mirror and can't get out. You see yourself and all around you but there is no way out.

I would like for people to understand that depression is not just a sadness but a devistating illness that you cannot "just get over". It is not just in the mind but an illness just like diabetes. You have a lack of the right chemicals in the brain just like the lack of insulin in the body with diabetes.

We who suffer from this horrible illness do not need preaching too but loving, understanding and prayer. We who are mature Christians know everything others are saying but have no control over what is happening just as if it were Cancer.

I have one scripture that I hold on to especially and that is Jer. 29:11, "For I know the thoughts I have for you, sayeth the lord, thoughts of good and not evil to give hope and an expected end" (Paraphrased) and one thought that a very dear Pastor friend of mine once told me midst one of my really down time, "God loves you right where you are but loves you far too much to leave you there." I have to believe, In His Time. but I will be the first to say it is really hard to bear at times.

Thanks for letting me sound off. Glad I found you on the net. I've been searching for this for a long time.