And why the weird title then? What has this got to do with managers, you ask.

Well, basically today, after sneaking into the Singapore Toy and Game Convention at Suntec City, I had the honour of seeing Mr JJ Lin there. So of course, being a fan of his together with some of my other friends, we were delighted and wanted to ask him to take a photo with us, after witnessing someone do that.

So my dear friend went up to him as he is browsing a toy booth to ask him if he could take a photo with us, and his fucking manager intercepted and answered even before he could, saying, "Oh, later, after he's finished browsing."

That's totally fine with us, so we quietly waited at a side, thinking that he'll come and take a photo with us.

However, little did we know that after JJ was done, that SON OF A BITCH manager quickly grabbed him and walked him away quickly in the opposite direction, trying to put up an act of "oh sorry for running away from you fat bitches so quickly but I totally forgot that I promised that you could take a photo with JJ just like, 2 minutes ago!"

FUCK YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!

I mean, I totally understand if JJ is tired and don't want to be disturb when he's looking through the convention. And I totally understand if you, DEAR STUPID MANAGER IDIOT, thinks that it's too much for a day and you don't want to let us take a picture with your dear money tree. But COME ON. Your shitty brain with quite alot of loopholes for common sense and courtesy would have, if not for it being shitty, told you that you could have had more EQ and politely refused us.

It's fine. We are not fucking crazy ass shit fan girls who are gonna rip your pants apart when we realised we're not getting what we want. At the same time wondering if you have any balls in them, so you don't have the guts to refuse another person and have to pull the feat of "running with BALLS CLAMPED BETWEEN YOUR LEGS".

WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU TO NOT HAVE EVEN THE MOST BASIC COURTESY!? You act like you are some fucking boss of some sort but in my opinion, you are just a fucking BIASED ass. I betcha if we were a group of bikini babes you'll be jumping at a chance to push JJ to take a photo with us so that your pathetic BALLS get a chance to JUMPSTART themselves.

It was not only disappointing to not get to take a photo with a singer that I admired, it was also hurting to think that wow, I'm actually so horrible that he has to run away like that.

But seriously, most of all...FUCK YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH MANAGER!!! If one day I get a chance for revenge I'll make sure YOUR ASS IS UP FUCKING A FUCKING TREE WITH RED ANTS ON IT!!! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!

That is one fucking thing I really really really hate about some bastards. Bastards who can't FUCKING KEEP A PROMISE and make EMPTY PROMISES to PACIFY US PATHETIC IDIOTS.

If you fucking can't do it, or you really don't think you want to do it, say NO. It's okay. We won't murder you or what. It's even worse to get people to have hopes just to crush them miserably because your PATHETIC BALLS ARE TO SMALL TO COME UP WITH A NO. Or some other bastards totally think that other people's time and effort come with freedom and they can conjure up magic so he takes advantage of another person's kindness to wait till the last FUCKING MINUTE to FINALLY FUCKING DECIDE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Cos it's fine, the rest of the people can just CONJURE MAGIC and automatically solve BIG FUCKING LOOPHOLE that you caused and you won't even FEEL IT, cos your FUCKING ASS is TOO FUCKING BUSY to FUCKING EVEN GO AND HELP OUT. SO YOU WON'T FEEL THE FUCKING PAIN OF THE TIME AND ENERGY THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TO PUT IN CAUSE YOU CONVENIENTLY JUST PLOK YOURSELF OUTSIDE THE ATOMIC BOMB!

Miserable pathetic sons of the bitches.

Yesh, so after one week of special term-ing, I have come through with some knowledge of the ha-hi-hu-he-ho-ness of the hiragana vocabulary. Something kinda like stuff-alot-of-curly-wurly-words-of-strange-nature-into-ur-brain. But it's quite fun still, and the teacher seems to be an energizer bunny that doesn't run out of energy. Global warming has a cure.

Oh. And...I don't want to be mean, but dear kk (u know who u are)...erm. Paiseh, I really think that purple is not really your colour. Ahaha. Paiseh. Just think that someone should say it. You can keep the stipes if you want though.

Aiya. We just really love Jack lah.

Special term starts tomorrow, and as expected, I am not the most excited person in the world. I am feeling slightly pissed and stessed now, not to mention that I was awaken this morning but the horrid heat and sun in my face, taking note that some selfish goons in my house didn't help by selfishly only blowing themselves with the fan and ignoring the heat that their fellow family member was experiencing after only 6 hours of sleep from 3am the night before. I applaud their selfishness and intend to return the deed very soon. Bloody bastards.

Also, not to mention that I haven't gone to pack my stuff from the hostel room. Apparently djj has already done so and I should have done it before the special term but seriously, I have procrastinated through the one and a half week that I had. I should go and pack the damn things. Soon.

Desperately need to go ktv-ing. Not to mention celebrate my freedom by going to Jack's place alone and enjoy some time with myself. Cause between chionging my manga and going shopping and stuff I haven't got the time to do that. So I should do it soon.

Argh. And I remember now that I still owe several manga/illustration related stuff. Shit I am so dead can.

Aiya. Really don't want to go to school lah.

Sigh, what with alot of my friends still having exams I am really bored now.

Well, not like I got nothing to do yeah, I have lotsa work for my manga to do, lotsa throwing stuff to do and not to mention moving my stuff outta that goddamned hostel room.

Also not like I have been doing nothing. Just went Tampines Ikea yesterday and finally got that narrow little shelf that I desperately need. However I never really knew how much work and how irritating it is to be putting together your own furniture. And I kinda had some glitches hammering the nails in some in the end I had to paste some white tape to cover the holes that I nailed through. Oh well.

Then I spent this morning just packing my stuff into the shelf and I threw alot of things out, figuring that when I get my stuff back from hall I'll be dealing with even more stuff so it's better to throw more than less.

Ya and I should ask djj when we should go clear the room and check it out and stuff but I haven't done that cos I feel lazy to go do so but then again next week special term starts and we should do it before special term but then again I am procrastinating.

Argh I should go shopping or ktv-ing.

Ten years, twenty years, no matter how long down the road, they remain pure in their approach and way of life, living on the one thing that keep them interested and alive.

Sometimes I wonder how long will I persist. Sometimes I wonder if I will regret it somewhere down the road.

But then again, I live for the now. And now, I feel happy. So as much as maybe other people may think that I am childish, I am boring or I am weird just persisting on doing my stuff, I am content with it.

Actually to track back, it's been almost 7, 8 years that I have started on it. Haha, it's quite a miracle, thinking that I was that easily frustrated, impatient kid in my childhood. All that Cs and Ds in art.

Hopefully ten years down the road I can feel the same. Like Ken Hirai, like Mary J Blige, like sensei.

Well. If I manage to live ten years more years anyway. Ahaha.

Thing to add to dreams to fulfill:
Make Mary J Blige a wonderful music video that is as good as her music

Aiyaiyaiyaiyai.

Bonds, Debt, YTM, Interest Rate, Ordinary Annuity, Annuity Due, Stock, required rate of return, WACC, IRR, NPV, MIRR, Derivatives, Business and Financial Leverage, Put, Call, Liabilities, Equity, Cashflow, Ratios, P/E, D/A, D/E, Du Pont, Profit Margin, Total Asset Turnover, Equity Multiplier, CAPM, SML, Dividends, Retained Earnings.

Yabadabadoo.

Yes I know I haven't updated for like nearly two months and it is not the most polite thing to say after being absent for so long but that's how it is now, cos it's exams.

Bleah...I'm having Western Art History exam tomorrow evening but I haven't even finished one of the two essays and I feel like total shit now and I am just trying to procrastinate doing it by writing in this blog right now and you know that I am procrastinating and I am doing it more and more since I am enlongating this sentence by so much but ya, I really like to procrastinate, plus I hate Art History.

Well, I don't HATE it like HATE IT. I like listening to the lecture and learning about it but I just don't really like it when I have to sit down and research and write about some work yeah. In short, I really don't like exams cause they make me feel stressed, lethargic, pissed and suck the passion right out of you. Not to mention that I had a tiresome week last week cause I didn't sleep too well in school and it happens that because of the stress (and bad pillow) I haven't been sleeping too well at home either so a tired me is a really pissed me.

Well not to mention that the highspeed broadband at home encourages me to watch youtube stuff 24/7.

And seriously, ADM people don't really have it that much easier eh, cause usually we face alot of deadlines of graded assignments already and usually during the final week of school we have to hand in our "big" final assignment projects. So even though we have less papers to go through, we are still losing plenty of hair and sleep. Especially since my 2D teacher was cruel enough to lenghten the pain by making us hand in the 2D final project AFTER the exams, which in my case, is one day after my Business Finance exam that is closed book and I HAVE to study for. I really don't understand why they have to do this for 2D EVERY SINGLE TIME. Can't they tell that we want to run off after finishing exams? Like run off into the great sunset?

And ya, my special term timetable sucks too. Mon, tue, thur, fri, 3.30pm to 5.30pm. Shit ya, I really don't know why they can't squeeze it into 2 days! So it means that I have to go to school like almost every single day. Argh.

Doesn't help too that I am TOTALLY BEHIND TIME for my manga. Argh. And I can't really push it till Dec cause I figured I'll be even busier then and I really don't like to push my dates back.

Ya. So...did I mention I was procrastinating?

Honestly, I can't wait for this sem to end. I having my mid term break now, but ya, still have 7-8 long weeks before this sem ends, followed by special term, which will last till mid June or smth. Arrrrggghh. I really don't want to take the special term and cut my end of year holiday by half but I don't want to still be taking loads of GERs in my 3rd and 4th year. Sigh.

I was working in the open lab the other day and the film major people were having some lesson about how to distribute and manage finances for film production and it was so fun!

Not to mention that I wasn't having the time of my life with this horrid dunno why must use paper to make clothes 2D project where we had to work in groups and I hate working in groups. HATE. Art people CANNOT work in groups. Seriously, cos everyone is so stubborn about their own ways if not they are absolutely passive till the point that they don't do ANYTHING unless you INSTRUCT them to. ARGH. And there was this stupid person who just rebukes EVERY SINGLE THING that I say for no reason and no intelligent suggestions. Like, if you have nothing intelligent or workable to say, DON'T SAY IT!!! I am not here to solve YOUR problem. What did I look like? God? An American? DO I look like I have alot of American time!?

It is really weird now, cos I think I have been cursed cos I keep getting alot of weird shit ass psychopath people around me. I really don't know why. I mean, am I giving out some weird shit negative ions that suck this sort of people to me? Do I look like I am a nice enough person to say, "Hey, it's ok that your are a disgusting psychopath, I'll be your friend!" Like NOOOO! Psychopaths, please keep to your own psychopath friends. I prefer to be normal.

Ok I sound like a bitch. But I am one. And I love being one.

Urgh. And I think I'll have to study like mad for Business Finance during the exam period cos I totally slept through the last few lectures and NOTHING went into my mind about cash flows and stock value and required returns. NOTHING. I just put the values into the equations in the lecture notes when doing the tutorial. Up there nothing is really working.

Maybe I just became stupid.

Oh, but one thing is for sure, it's that I am walking into the dark side. Kind of like, through the years and all that shit, you get pissed enough to unleash bits of the dark side of you, in which it will accumulate and change your character. Like, in secondary school I was such an angel man. Totally didn't bad mouth any single person. I'll be like, oh I shouldn't dismiss a person just like that...every single person has got feelings...I should be polite and nice... Ha. Bullshit crap now. Just this year in school I don't know how many people I have bad mouthed, bitched and gossiped about. And I totally think that all noisy kids, freaks, digusting unhygenic assholes and psychopaths should all die for the good of the society and all the nice normal people like me.

Somehow people seem less and less pleasant too. They seem to have a way to irritate me more than they did last time. Either I was more tolerant in the past or their degree of irritatingness just increased with time too.

K cos Mr Chan Kar Fai say must change layout for the new year! So ok lor I change. Yay.

And it has dawned onto me in the recent year that I have changed quite alot. My social circle has became smaller by quite abit. Not that I am throwing friends away but it has become harder for me to make new friends. Somehow it has become that I am alot more self-centered and alot of things that used to be important to me seemed to have become less important than letting myself rest.

I find myself constantly resting and this unsettles me that I am stalling, I am making no progress.

But at the end of it all I often wonder, where do all these lead me to? I will progress, I will improve, but so will everyone. So at the end of all these what is my goal? Is it to be better than everybody else? Or to achieve some kind of noble aspirations, like save the world, make it a better place?

I also wonder if i am on the right path. I mean, well I cannot imagine doing anything else than what I am doing now but perhaps if I did something else I could accomplish more? And perhaps feel safer and more assured?

Many a time I feel restless, lethargic, wasted. And I think part of this is related to my weight issue. I am fat. I know I always admit this but seriously I don't want to be like this. I also want to be someone who don't have an image issue such that I will feel confident about doing whatever I ever wanted to do and what I am doing. Many a time I just say, hey there are fatter people than I am or hey I can still dress well and groom well despite being overweight.

And in these past few months, after having come in touch with lit, I have come to realise that it will always be me against all the others. A sense of loneliness that I have never experienced has come onto me. Of course, when I am with friends and stuff this feeling dissappears, but when i am the only one awake in the middle of the night it surfaces again and I sometimes wonder what this existence mean anyway. Is there some kind of goal that i am destined to achieve? Or am I just another product of this over producing, excessive world that can be so easily sacrificed? Will what I work so hard to achieve ever be recognized by others? Or will it just be forgotten as the present days past and we pass on into the future?

Then again, the road keep speeding ahead. It doesn't care if you have an answer or if you are prepared. It just keep speeding...into the blinding light of the unseen future.

The trick to it is to watch no more Ellen sitcoms and immerse in good anime, like Black Lagoon(O Revy baby) or Busou Renkin(strongly reccommended! Tokiko! Kazuki!). Yes. So having cleansed myself I am back pretty much like myself, just having the fat content raised a notch through the injestion of pretty much good food. I hope.

Anyways pple, for this EOY event my manga group is selling a calender for 2008. We sold pretty much of it already, have only 2 left. You can check it out here. If you like it you can contact me to buy it at $10 bucks. Bahaha.

Argh. Throughout this week at home I have come by a pretty bad addiction to Ellen Degenres. Oh god I sound like some stalker weirdo.

It started out as a pretty harmless thing, cos I was checking out youtube for some ellen sitcoms that I never got the chance to see since I was too young then and I got totally hooked onto it.

I found myself sitting down at 8pm every night and watching ellen sitcoms all the way till 1 or 2am without realising so. And the highspeed new broadband that I get is not helping to restrict that usage. Argh.

And I got so addicted I actually went to look at some Ellen and Portia video yesterday.

Shit, I must be turning les. AAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH NNNOOOOOO!!!!

It is so weird! Cos Ellen is actually very beautiful and she has a very special charm, so I found her really addicting. Shit. I am straight!

But ya, I am currently trying very hard to keep away from youtube and those sitcoms cos I really don't want to end up spending hundreds of dollars flying to America or have ellen posters all over my walls if I go mad over this one day. Oh god I hope I'm still sane.

That's why I shun all animes that friends pass me! I am easily addicted hopelessly to stuff!

The last time I got addicted was when I bought Jing Pai Bing Ren vcds. I just finished that 30 episodes(or smth liddat) in 2 days, watching near to 24 hours a day and going crazy over the LingHu Xi and GaoFei couple.

But anyway, my friend, who have spent some years in girls' school has reassured me that I'm heterosexual, just that she finds that I tend to like people that are more towards the metrosexual kind, like Johnny Depp, Ellen, LingHu Xi (from Jing Pai Bing Ren) and other manga characters from various mangas. Oh shit, why does it not sound any better that I like sissies and butches!? ARGH!

Damn! Must get a grip on myself, or a grip on something at least.

Yesh, holidays here I come! Oh my god, my poor fellow friends of ntu, nus and smu...I must say, you know...I AM PPPPHHHHRRREEEE!!!!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!

Hail to the days of mapling and shopping! Yes! However, I must say, I am quite broke. So I really need to figure out how to get some money to spend. God I am bimbotic.

So yes, in the time while I am enjoying ice cream, gaming and tv, the rest of you people do continue to work hard! My spirit will be with you while I am partying away. Muahahahahaha.

Oh I am an evil person.

Between munching on Haagen Daz ice cream and playing Sim City on DS I feel lethargic enough to waste several days doing next to nothing except think of buying a roller to get that acrylic evenly on the stupid piece of wood. I had enough of experimentation. I just wanna do that goddamn thing and get it over with.

Then again, I don't want to do anything.

But it's weird, cos when you try to postpone doing something you are able to get something else done, like I managed to start on my drafting for the doujinshi next year. I've done like 6 pages now. And I keep procrastinating preparing for the two stupid WAH essay that I need to write for the exam tomorrow. Talk about priority.

So in the spirit of universal friendship and somewhat happiness that doesn't really exist and between Hieronymous Bosch and I, here is the updated list of things to complete before I regain freedom and finally bathe and get out of the house:
1)Western Art History (WAH) preperation for exams - prepare for the two essay questions
2)50 Good and 50 Bad Design Jounal (I should really get moving on this...)
3)2D Pattern on Wood Final Assignment
4)3D Skyscraper Sculpture (I am still pissed)

Well yes, I did finish my beauty essay but I really don't know what shit I was writing about and I finished my lit exam but then again I also didn't know what I was writing about. Oh well. At least I (if I don't fail) won't have to ever do lit in my life again. Ha!

Then again, I feel really really lethargic. I shall go eat ice cream.

Baaaahhh...The end of the semester is coming...and of course, the well awaited exams are coming but I just can't seem to get into the mode of studying or completing projects.

I am like...floating away into holiday mode already...bleah...

Basically I have the below things to complete:
1)1000 word Beauty essay
2)50 good and 50 bad designs journal
3)2d patterns assignment
4)3d skyscraper sculpture
5)Study for lit exam that is on 14 nov
6)Prepare for WAH exam that is on 19 nov
7)Proofreading

Beeeehhhhh. I feel too sian to do anything, so I ended up wasting one week rotting at home and now with the lit exam chasing up behind me reminding me that it is one the coming wednesday, I seriously should get my ass up and try to complete my work. But I feel sian. Seriously sian.

And I really should add a tagboard here. But I feel really really lazy. Maybe after the exams...

And I also should write something on the quintessentialfive blog, but I can't cos I somehow am unable to access it. Sorry girls.

And I really should find time to go out with friends cos I am getting really mouldy at home and I haven't seen some people for like months but it's the exam period so I can't and so I end up feeling bored and sian and I don't want to do anything.

Sigh, if only I could be a stay-home-otaku all my life and just stay in the comfort of my home drooling over cute manga characters. Nah, that's quite cui.

And my mom bought potong ice-cream. I really don't understand why as much as I don't understand Plato, Aristotle, Hume, Kant, Hegel and what's-his-name philosophers. And Persona.

A scanner.

Scanners are pretty much easy devices to use. You put in the cd that comes with it into your computer, install the programme and then plug in your scanner. And there! You are ready to scan in your works.

And the basic function of the scanner is to allow you to change your images that are on paper into digital images so that you can work through them using photoshop and such.

In short, a scanner is supposed to be a convenient device that will not cause any extreme anger, irritate-ness, high blood pressure or fatigue.

Yes, so in our pursuit of being "different", things can always turn out differently.

I just wanted to scan 2 fucking pieces of A4 fucking drawings.

Is there anything wrong with that? I am scanning my own work so it won't be breeching any piracy laws isn't it? I need to scan it because I have to colour it and hand it in by this coming sunday. So what the fuck is the problem? Why did I fucking wasted 1 hour plus of my fucking wasted fucking life to fucking try and get this fucking thing scanned!!!!?????

Well, that's because some IDIOT went to buy a WINDOWS VISTA computer, thinking that it is oh-so-cool! LIKE FUCK! I HAD HELL TRYING TO INSTALL THE FUCKING SCANNER! AND AFTER I INSTALLED IT IT STILL CAN"T WORK AND I KEEP INSTALLING AND UNINSTALLING FOR ONE FUCKING HOUR!!!!!

FUCK THEM ALL!!! I can't believe anyone could even think lesser when buying a computer! FUCK! And I thought it was common sense to think about how the computer system could work with other programmes! WHAT KIND OF RETARD COULD GET IT WRONG!!!???

And yes, to top the whole scanning epidsode off, when I finally gave up and came to school to scan after walking like 2km, guess what? THE FUCKING OPEN LAB HAD SCANNERS BUT NO CONNECTION WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone please! PLEASE GO AND KILL YOURSELVES!!!!

And well, if someone wants to say, well maybe your scanner it too old for windows vista, then think again! Guess what, THEY ALSO LEFT OUT MICROSOFT OFFICE!!!!! Thanks a whole lot! I can finally refrain myself from printing notes that are essential for my semester exams and I am having them in less than a month! I am elated!

Seriously, I am telling them to go to hell! Wherever it is!

And that fucking windows vista places security on EVERYTHING and cause everything to HANG!!!!!! FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

I JUST WANT TO FUCKING USE THE COMPUTER IN PEACE!!!!

And yes of course, I must really thank my mom for being so kind to complain and hate me for bring home ONE SINGLE PIECE OF LAUNDRY that somehow required her to iron it because SHE DIDN't PULL THEM STRAIGHT BEFORE HANGING like I TOLD HER TO. You know what? I really really must tell you that you are a bias fuck. I fucking wash ALL MY FUCKING CLOTHES IN HALL EVERY SINGLE WEEK and REFUSE TO BRING ANY EXTRA HOME for you to wash because I want to take some load off you and THIS is how you fucking thank me.

WHAT ABOUT MY BROTHERS? Huh? They are like FUCKING TWENTY PLUS and they don't do a SINGLE OUNCE of their laundry or even any housework. They fucking leave all their rubbish around the house, mess things up like FUCK and you HAPPILY RUN AFTER THEIR CHORES.

COME ON, GROW UP!!!! I am not even twenty and I know how to take care of myself so why the fuck do you put up with THEIR FUCK and when it comes to me you complain so much about YOUR FUCK.

GO FUCK SOME TREE. YOU FUCKER.

You just don't give a damn do you? God knows how many fucking sets of army clothes you have washed and ironed but this one fucking aikido uniform just makes you really pissed off with it.

Why the fuck do I bother then?

Yes, I've forgotten this anyway and it is the end of the recess week. Nevertheless, it doesn't really matter. Yes, cos I've only finished the stupid texture studies. Anyways.

I don't really care anymore.

Well, I can't help the passiveness in my sentence, but seriously. Where's the holiday? How come I don't seem to see it?

Basically, this has been my list of things to complete in this week:
1. Book 11 and 13 flipping(finished)
2. Illustration for suntec exhibition
3. 2D texture studies + process book - really tedious and irritating
4. 1D animal drawings
5. 3D wire paper sculpture
6. 4D 30-40 photos forming narrative
7. Finish reading The Great Gatsby (Gasps it's so great!!!)

Sho happy. It's like one homework a day! And no, it is not possible to do so.

I've been so tired since I've been home. It's like all that 3am, 4am sleeping times in the hall are catching up with me within the span of time at home. I've either been slacking off, trying to do abit of work, or just falling asleep for twelve hours from 11pm till 11am.

So how the hell am I supposed to finish all that work?

Seriously, I don't know.

Arrrrrrggggghhhhh I feel walking into the forest behind my hall that has live firing and get killed there or smth. Baaaaahhh. Shit.

Like fuck, today there was this stupid presentation about aesthetics and my group just screwed up doing some stupid crap that lasted only 1 slide. Fuck, what the fucking thing was wrong with me!!!??? What fuck crap, you jolly well go fucking do your homework properly when you are required to! What the fuck were you doing? Slackin your ass off away!? FFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!

I am freakin pissed with myself. All I had to fucking do was go to the library, really read up and then qoute and put them on the fucking powerpoint and I can't even do that!? What fucking disgrace? I felt so fucking shameful when my class had to reluctantly clap after our presentation. FFFFFUUUCKKK..

And I couldn't believe I had the fucking cheek to have told my group that "aiya, I don't think it's graded". FUUUUCCCKKKK.

And why the fucking hell have I been the only one who seemed to be interested in finishing this project? Why is the fuck of the hell that some of you guys are so fucking passive? What did I look like? Some saint who will fucking finish off your fucking work for you when you don't feel like doing it? FUUUUUUUCCCKKKK

And why the fuck is 2D like philosophy? What the fuck do you have to care which fucking philosopher wrote what fuck about what fucking beauty? Beauty FUUUUUUCCCKKKK.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK

Somebody, go fuck the tree.

Yes, I really don't like poems. But anyway.

Like, somehow, I guess this should be quite prominent to several people but I just feel like complaining anyway.

Well there is this guy in my class, he's quite ok, quite friendly and stuff and he's popular with most of the girls and I thought he was quite cool too and he also does great work. But it's been bugging me that he seems to like treating people like some kind of amateur and like, "you don't know how it is like in the design business" all because he has some company and is older than all of us.

It started to bug me last week, when I went for lunch with some of my class's people and we were talking about the horrid 3d project that we have to do, he showed us a photo of the piece he had done and we were impressed by it and was praising it and going like, "oh my god, you are evil!" sort of thing and he actually said, "well...aiya, my situation different from you guys mah..."

"You guys can just anyhow get your way through the 4 years but if I don't learn anything here it's a waste of time."

...

I really don't know what to say lor. It doesn't mean that since we are young we are just trying to get by this course and not have in mind the thought of doing our best and learning new things. I don't know if he means what I think he does, or that I am just becoming bitchier and is jealous of his talent, but it bugs me that we actually portray such an image in his mind.

Well so that was one incident. And this morning it happened again.

I went to 2d class this morning and he was there waiting for the room to open so I just casually asked him how's is his 2d project going then I was like saying, "aiya...the homework is never ending lor...haiz..." something along that "whining about your homework" line and he said,

"It's gonna be like that for the rest of your life you know."

Then I was like, "haha, that's why I don't want to do design."

And he said, "Well even animation is also like that.

And then some other classmate came and I didn't bother to retort (cos for one thing I don't intend to take animation) but as I go through the day I start to get quite pissed.

I HAVE worked in this area before and I know how it's like ok.

I mean, I just like to whine and complain about the workload but in the end I always will produce the work lor. Why the hell do you have to come here and act like some know-it-all and say things like that? I respect you for the work you do but I really don't think I will like to converse with you after this cos I really don't like to be belittled by people who don't even know zilch about me.

Yes, so I have subtlely bitched by today and I'll have to go catch the cat for my foundation drawing.

I've been so busy in school. I spend 6 days of a week in school doing various things like having class, washing clothes, sweeping the floor, doing homework, doing homework, doing homework. Right. That was homework three times there.

Basically we have 4 different art classes plus art history and lit class this semester. And basically, All 4 art classes gives art homework to varying degrees in varying quantities and requirements. So basically, by week 3, which is now, you would just feel like sleeping 24/7. No, I am not saying that this is the most difficult times but still, I am become more and more like an otaku by staying in the dorm all day doing homework.

So if anyone feels pissed that I am hard to look for or I appear impatient or unwilling to do something please do realise that I am doing homework 24/7. :)

Yes, Jingjing, I'll try to go on sunday but here I cannot promise you. I have a die-hard 2D class homework to do plus foundation drawing plus line exercise for 3D and of course, my derive project for 4D. And possibly all is graded. :) I'll try, of course, to help the junoirs if possible and if I can manage to stay awake there. :)

Yawn. My day just starts at 12.33 am.

Basically, it is just a room on the 4th floor of the building that is on the tallest bloody hill. However, somehow my window looks out into the lower layer of the tropical rain forest and faces threats of ants and wild lizards.

I mean, I'm ok with lizards. There are lots of them in my house. But I just don't appreciate them being too active or scurrying around my bed or shiting on my table. And I'm ok with ants passing through, as long as they don't scurry across my table, be on my floor, fall down from the wall onto my things and such. Yes, that's all I ask for. I am easily fulfilled.

So being angered by the creatures' inability to understand this, I whipped out Shieldtox and fumed the room. I climbed onto the chair and sprayed the toxic chemical right onto the faces of the horrid black ants on the wall and watches in excitement and sadistic estacy as they stifled and fall onto the floor, curled into corpses of black balls. Bwahahahaha.

Ok...well...it's troublesome, but since I HAVE to do it...Oh well I'll just go and talk crap anyhow.

Aside from that...well nothing else ba. Just that I am 19 liao.

Ok.

Sianz. Really arh, there should be a law to seperate dysfunctional parents from their kids so people like me and jingyi don't have to suffer this state. Like WTF!

Well, it turned out that the correct scholarship to apply for is the Media Education Scheme by MDA.

SO MDA, GIMME THE MONEY DAMMIT!!!

I want to get the money so that I can wave if around in front of my dad's face and let him know that he can't stop me no matter what. BIG FAT ASS!

Oh, and I am starting work tomorrow, which means this sega of me being free and happy is ending. I can no longer go out on weekdays, so friends, don't miss me.

I really want to buy a house and get out man.

SO NAC, GIMME THE MONEY DAMMIT!!!

----------

Enough is enough. You crazy ass bitch.

Yes I am still not dead. Haven't gone committing suicide due to depression. Maybe I'll stay alive for another couple of years...

Anyway, FUCK THE WORLD!!! Yes, I have decided to apply for the NAC Bursary (local) and the Design Singapore Scholarship.

What fuck lor, I even went to write a fatabulous personal response essay for the NAC Bursary at 3am in the morning. So fun. But it is troublesome lor, like wth, still have to certify true copies of documents or else have to go down to the NAC place to show them the real documents. Sian.

SO GIVE ME THE MONEY YOU BITCHES!!!

Yes, kindly hand over the money for all the effort I am putting in and nobody gets hurt.

Furthermore I require the uni admission letter to show that I am admitted but no shit is coming from anywhere leh. Like WTH. Spare a thought for poor people who are forced to try to get something to pay for their goddamn fees cos their parents don't support them.

And ya, I have not told my parents about this because I want them to be anxious and nervous a little longer and get shocked when I flash money before their eyes for my tuition fees. Assholes.

I am a fat person so I bounce back. Fats are bouncy. Boing.

Ohya, anyway, thanks to people that have smsed me to comfort me and tell me bout scholarships. I am okay lah...just that sometimes depression sinks in and I need to write out how I feel on this blog so that I can also start to feel better and recover. So you should worry when i am writing happy stuff or not writing. Hahaha.

And my manga is really working up now I guess...it's somewhat coming together. I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!!! YAY!!!

And yes, I've leveled up today when I am playing maple. Also, I'm going out after 7 days at home tml.

Sigh, I think it is the disease that one would catch after spending too much time at home doing almost nothing. I don't know why, but it is so hard to feel happy nowadays. I'm feeling mainly stressed and depressed and insecure.

"Why so, you big fat shit?" One might ask. Basically, I am fretting over my uni course choice. I DO want to do Art Design and Media, everybody knows that.

But my father is totally against my choice. Remember the period after the A'level results where I was feeling depressed and lost? That's because my dad was trying really hard to make me go to Dentistry or Accounting or some safe course instead of ADM which he deemed were safe and of course I went against him. (and dentistry is the most boring course I've ever seen.)

It hurts ok. Even though most of the time I don't show it, it does. I remember crying in the blanket after I shouted back at him. Being fat and ugly doesn't mean that I don't get hurt. Really lah, sometimes i am just a piece of shit.

And after that my mother told me that my dad said that "My S$60 000 is not going to come back."

I really don't know what to say. Very very hurt ok.

You stupid shit lor you, you think what? This is still the times where people of the arts can only go on the street and paint potraits? There are also good jobs for people who do art what. I can still earn money. Why am I taking this shit from an ass who don't even know how to use the computer or use a mop to mop the floor?

Well you may ask why I suddenly bring this up, cos that's because on the day of the operation my mother mentioned this to me again.

I don't know what she's thinking. At first I thought she was on my side and was willing to pay for my tuition fees but now I've to think twice. I really regret not signing up for a scholarship now.

I just want to be happy you know. Just to know that your family is now despising you for the choices you make doesn't help. I never knew it actually means so much to me. Like wth. And now after I've finally been able to forget it she has to remind me of this shit and make me depressed again.

So now I am contemplating going to Accounting if I don't get into ADM. At least it makes the people in my family happy and I'll know that I'll earn alot. It beats going to a weird Arts course that I don't really want to get in.

I don't know lah. I don't want to give up on my dreams. I want to start on it right now. But why do people make it so hard for my by judging my monetary values? I only need enough cash to get by, but people around me seems unsatisfied by it. I thought this was my life.

Well anyway, I'll be starting on a job next mon. Hopefully I become my cheerful by putting my thoughts on the job and not remember this anymore. Or I could get amnesia and forget them forever. Aiya, uni hurry up and send us the letters leh.

And if anyone knows of scholarship or bursaries that have not closed do tell me. Thanks.

But it was quite fun though, cos I think they gave me too much anasthetic so I puked like mad hell. Sho fun. Then I puke and puke until got nothing to puke and I started puking some weird yellow liquid that tasted bitter. So weird. So fun.

And I lost half a kg through puking alone!!! Wheeee!!! Aiya, but I ate too much after that and gained the weight back. So irritating.

Yes, so I'll stay home and rot for 7 days before going out. I'll probably be able to go out from 18 April onwards. Not that I'm paralysed now or anything, just want to prevent any complications.

AND SO! I have to make use of these 7 days to fully work on my manga stuff because currently I am running so damn late for my deadlines:

Postcard drawing - 1 May 2007 (I've only completed the pencil drawings. Dammit.)
Poster and cover - 13 May 2007 (I've only finished the drawing and inking of the poster. Haven't even got around the cover yet...)
Manga - 31 May 2007 (I'm only up till the pencil drawing of page 36!!!!!! AAAARRGGGHHH!!)

Haiz. What to do. Damn sian lehz. And my computer choose now of all times to be spoilt. What the hell.

Hey, wait. So if my computer is spoilt how am I updating this blog with???

I HAVE PSYCHIC POWERS!

Today I finally realised that some people really cannot hear their own pitching. Or in other words, they sing horribly and don't realise that they have gone out of tune all the way from China to America.

Like wth, today I went for a gathering cum birthday celebration of my friend's friend. Actually, it was more like pathetic karaoke-ing with horribly old songs.

Everything was fine at first, we sing sing sing. Then when I was singing "Ting Hai" by Zhang Hui Mei, this stupid auntie was trying to get me to tune the song 2 tones down because she thinks that I can't hit the note and I told her straight that I don't want to tune it down.

And then, like WTH, in the middle of the song while I was singing, she tune the song two tones down!!! Like WTF!? Where's your COURTESY????

I felt so fucking pissed I just put down the bloody mic and refused to sing anymore. What the hell lah, stupid auntie, when you were singing you went out of tune all the way from Jurong East to Pasir Ris and never saw yourself coming back and now you dare to touch the knobs on MY song???? FUCK YOU LAH!

Asshole. I felt like saying that straight to her face but because she was a fucking elder person, I had to fucking say, "Oh, nevermind, skip the song."

Fuck ass, and after that I heard from other people that she is a fucking singing teacher. What fuck lah, you can't even sing in tune how you fucking teach other people how to fucking sing? What fuck you think you are? Even William Hung sings better than fucking you. She probabaly teaches her students that going out of tune is fucking right. What the fuck.

The LEAST you could have fucking done was wait until I finished singing the fucking song before you might want to fucking tell me that I should tune the song two tones down. Hey wait, what the fuck, I CAN REACH ALL THE FUCKING NOTES UNLIKE YOU so why the fuck do I have to tune it fucking down? And how dare you try to demonstrate your fucking out-of-tune-ness by singing fucking in front of me? What the fuck do you think you are?

And fuck lah, when you fucking sang "Yan Lei Cheng Shi" by Sun Yanzi I couldn't even recognise the fucking song because you were so fucking out of tune! What unearthly fuck are you singing!? You want to fucking use your fucking ass to tell me what to do then you should at least fucking get your fucking ass to sing in tune while not having fucking shit falling out of it first. Fuck.

And now when I hear fucking in tune songs it feels weird cause YOU SPOILED MY EARS WITH YOUR FUCKING OUT OF TUNE SINGING!!!!!

ARGH!!! FUCK YOU!!! AND SUCK YOUR OWN DICK!!!

All right. That was so fun.

Anyway, I've finished my ADM video!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Aiya, but I am not going to show anyone because it is so embarrasssing. Wahaha. So all those who haven't finished their videos, muahaha, gd luck!!! Ohohohoho!!!

Haiz...sian, because of the video thing, I haven't advanced much in my manga. I am so dead can. How am I supposed to finish it by 20 May??? OMGOMGOMG.

I LOST 3KG!!!

Ahaha, but I see no difference in my size. Still very very very fat. Sian.

And then my wonderful Windows Movie Maker decides to make it even shittier by not being able to play my mpg file in it's stupid timeline. How the hell do I edit a video if I can't see it?? What am I, a physic?

AAARRRGGHHH the programme that my mother brings back today better work...Or else I'm gonna puke.

So let's skip the unhappy stuff and jump to happi-er stuff so that I won't suffer from a depression or something because I belive that if things keep happening like that I'll probably be locked up in IMH aka Hougang Chalet for a good old holiday.

ACK! I am absolutely behind time for my manga. Like WTF! I was supposed to finish the pencil work by Febuary and now, in mid-March, I am not even halfway through. ARRRRRGGGHHH...

Plus I didn't do alot of the drawing practice that I was supposed to complete before going to see my mentor this Friday...AAAAARRGGGHH...

Ohya, and dreamgirls soundtrack kick butts.

I guess I'm finally picking myself up, not that I was really down too, I think it was the hormones. But seriously, I am not PMSing.

Well heck, just try and enjoy the things I do. Swimming is really very fun, the funnest part being laughing at the aqua arobics people as they do some horribly funny actions and this is really quite lethal as people might laugh while swimming and choke and drown. So if anyone sees an aqua arobics class while they are swimming, they had better be careful.

Yes! Desperate Housewives are finally back!!! YAY!!! It's really funny though, seeing how Bree got turned on by how Owen was obsessed with cleaning. Weird chick.

And yes, blessings to the poor babe working at the tuition centre with kids from hell. Amen.

To tell you the truth, I am rather dissappointed. By the B for Bio...I put in so much effort in Bio and I got a stupid B. There goes my 3As. Arrggghh...What can I say...Perhaps I didn't put in enough effort, perhaps I didn't do well on the spot...perhaps it was spa...dammit, I don't know.

Screw fucking pride. The stupid subject that I was so proud of put me down, or rather, I put it down.

When have results become so impactful towards me? I remember the O levels, where I went to get my results and returned home happy despite the not so good 9 points L1R5 that I couldn't get into VJ with. Now I see people who get better grades then me and I feel sad. Maybe I should have put in more effort, maybe I should have worked harder...I am no longer a happy go lucky person.

Must be the inferiority complex. The fats, the bad skin, the bad results, the bad physical fitness, the non talented areas...etc etc...the list goes on. And it goes on in a vicious cycle, where the feeling of inferiority puts a barrier in my life. Screw fucking pride.

Somehow I've lost it. The magic in life, the passion in the things I do and the happiness of being contented with what I have. I don't know. It has become very hard to feel really really happy these days. And it doesn't help when people act cold. Whatever.

I am currently trying to find my path. Need to put in that effort and get out of this state of complete laziness and waste.

No, please do not ask me to go see a pscho doctor. I'm just ranting...

I have a rather upset stomach, keep running to the toilet and the only working stupid stove in my stupid house just refuses to light, thus resulting in a kitchen full of gas but no fire. HOW THE HELL DO I COOK MAGGI MEE LIKE THAT!!!???

Yes, so tired, pissed and hungry, I (and all unfortunate A level people) am going to get my A level results today. Could hardly sleep last night, as I contemplate what grades I might get. A couple of days ago I dreamt that I got ABBD. Crap, I don't want to get ABBD!!! AARRRRGGHHH!!!

Dammit, aiya, I dunno lah.

I was in quite a gd mood today after watching Ghost Rider and drawing with dx. Then after I got home, my dad got a request for me to help shower my grandma every week.

The first thing that went through my mind was "what the hell", followed by questions of why is it that I have to do that and then a conclusion that I'll just be used by my stupid aunties and uncles as a reason to escape their responsibility of taking care of my grandma.

So of course, I refused to do it.

What? Perhaps some of you might just think, "what the hell, this girl has no heart for her poor disabled grandma. Bitch." Well, try this for size. The last time I went to put my personal interests on the line and help somebody out, all I got was a freakin busy schedule and no appreciation.

And the relatives on my father's side are all wolves. Wolves that want to scrape you off the last meat on your bone. All trying to evade responsibility, all trying to use each other as a wall to fend themselves off of trouble. I am not going to be that stupid girl who goes to be kind and end up being the slave of the family with every single shitass throwing their shit off at you.

When I asked my dad why my auntie is not coming in the weekdays anymore, he told me that she and my grandma had a tiff and she feels pissed off so she's not coming anymore. Shameless bitch, return me the $300 bucks that you extorted off the family! First you take mondays off, then you show up for only barely two days then now you take the chance to run off so you can dump your responsibilities on somebody else. SCUM.

Whatever the shit, nothing's free in this world. Don't get used man.

As life goes on, I spend my days slacking at home as I draw Ma3Fia! book 3. It's actually getting quite fun, for today i entertained myself by finding a better pen to draw people's hair with, for it gave absolutely wonderful thin lines no matter how much pressure I put. Yes, so go to Cosfest 2007 and grab the book. Or else.

I haven't gone on a decent shopping trip for FREAKIN long. So I really need to go on one soon. For now I have money. And yes, I am contemplating buying the PS2 Taiko Drum game. Gotta build arm muscles. Muahaha.

Right. Why the sudden sigh of sadness, you ask. Cos I seem to have fallen out of society and the circles of friends.

As you already know, I am an unemployed teenager now because I am simply too lazy to get my ass off into an office to get employed. So I continue in my search of being the laziest on planet Earth. Contradicting to this, many of my friends are busily employed and have a lack of time to share with me aside from a few who are as free as I am.

So yesterday, being Valentine's, should have been exciting and heart stopping, but I just stayed at home, playing MapleStory as my friends are busy at work. Oh god, whatever happened to my life???

So bored.

Well, in case no one really noticed. I manage my blog by typing in my html file. Which is really wierd, cause people usually prefer to use livejournal or blogspot or stuff like that. Oh well, but that's besides the point.

I seriously just feel very lazy to get a job. But actually I'm not really without a job. I do have some assignments at hand but because the deadline is in April and I can finish it in a couple of days, I have shown my potential to be complacent and procrastinating. I'm just too lazy and my sleep pattern has started to move towards becoming like that of early days Jingyi, when she sleeps at 2am and wakes up at 12pm. Damn.

Well somehow, I guess it is the inferiority complex of fat people, when I see skinny sexy looking girls I get really pissed. Probably because they look like Ah Lians who have no sense of style but yes, I must admit that it's because of the inferiority complex so that if you can't be as good, you envy the people who are and develop a sense of hatred and anger towards them.

Bleah. That's besides the point too. But anyhow, in order to deal with this sense of inferiority, I have devised a plan for Vday, where I can fatten surrounding people a little bit with showers of chocolate. As the saying goes, "if you can't make yourself slim, make the enemies fat." Whoopee.

Been mapling alot these days, cos dx is in China until 15 Feb so no one is there to message me and say let's go out to draw so I've become quite free since everyone else is working. Sigh...

Ya, and I am in Eos tower now. But that's besides the point too.

Places like This Fashion, old shopping malls and even the Chinese New Year festive goods selling convention at Takashimaya were notorious for playing these horrid songs, although the Taka one showed some decency by changing them to good old normal chinese orchestra music, which me and my friend heaved a sigh of relief at hearing.

And just yesterday, I heard, AND SAW, the ULTIMATE.

Well, because yesterday was ktv day, I went Katong Shopping Centre earlier to print some stuff, and while I made my way to the escalator, I saw this mtv playing on one of the televisions of Teo Heng Karaoke(retail).

Of couse, what struck me first was the horrible Chinese New Year song, then the mtv shocked me as these two young women and two young men danced in disgusting poses of what I can't really describe here and they acted like they were some idol groups or something.

IRK.

My god!!! Why do people waste money on such things!? Can't they like save up the money and go buy gold, buy diamond? My god!

I have a friend who gets headaches when listening to Chinese New Year song and I really don't know what will happen if she sees that mtv. My god, have a heart man!

Right, so oh well, today they are changing the water pipes so we ain't gonna have water all the way up till 6pm. And yes, because there's no water, we can't flush the toilet until then.

I somehow think/notice that my dad is happy about that. Geez.

----------

Ah, and yes, aside from talking bout life, I've become bored enough to talk about other stuff, and what better than my ring collection because I've just polished my silver rings today and want to show them off before they tarnish again. People who know me knows that I just love rings. Every shopping trip ends at its best if I acquire a new ring, muahaha. Oh my god, what a bimbo!!! (Screams!)

Right, so back to the topic. I shall thus evaluate my collection in order of the time that I bought them, starting from my very first good ring. And I say good ring here meaning that the ring has to be significant in my collection and not be one of the "etc" rings. Yes, I am causing discrimination and stress among my rings.

Yes, ring number one is quite a normal kind of ring. I got it from Perlini's Silver at TM when I'm Sec 1 or smth. Well, alot of people have been saying that Perlini's Silver's jewellery suck as they contain a low percentage of silver but this ring has been one that required the least care and polishing. It does not really tarnish despite it being silver so I'm actually quite facinated by the science of it. Ya, and I got it on sale for about S$20+ I think. Muahaha.

And now ring number 2 has been one of the most worn rings in the past years, evidence being the large number of scratches that are on it impeding its shine. It was bought on my first trip to my favourite ring shop in The Edge at Bugis Junction when I was like...I think Sec 4. You can call it love at first sight. I went there, saw it and bought it for...I can't really remember, S$20-S$30 plus? No other rings caught my attention as much as this one did. Some may think that it is "ah beng' but I don't. So too bad. And it's made of silver.

Ring number 3 was bought sometime after number 2 as I experimented with cheapo rings before buying it. I got this in a ring shop at Bugis Street and till today I could still remember that the guy thought that me and my friend were sisters and that he called this ring the "Shen Diao" ring. Also, he told me the correct way to wear a ring. Oh well. This ring just goes absolutely well with ring number 2. Somehow. Maybe it's the shape or something. I got this for around $17 bucks I think. Silver.

And from ring 4 onwards, the rings were all bought in a crazy shopping spree that I went on where I bought a total of 5 rings, made of silver or stainless steel, each ranging from S$20 to S$40. On that trip to the ring shop at The Edge during JC1 I spent a whopping S$150 bucks. Just on rings. Wheee. But I lost one of them on the plane flight back from Sydney and I'm just really sad cos that was a really cool ring.

So ring 4 here is weird. It's like, a ring that i bought because I was buying many rings and can afford to buy another even though it's not really that pretty. What struck me was the stone. That brown colour lump that has some glitter like impurities in it. And it is also one of the rings that could only fit on my fourth finger. The thing about that ring shop it that it only have a few pieces of a certain design, which is good, cos you won't see any other ah bengs wearing the same ring as you, saving you from public humiliation, but in a bad way, you might not neccessarily get the ring of your size because you have no choice. Well, ring number 4 is made of silver and I really can't remember what stone that is. Except that it's some special stone.

Ring 5 is really cool. It's made of stainless steel, so it won't ever tarnish, thus saving all the hassle of polishing. Plus, unlike ordinary rings, the star is made of crystal instead of glass, thus it is a lot more shinier, imitating the effect of a diamond. Right, I'm not rich enough to own a diamond, but just let me indulge in diamond like stuff all right. The only bad part being that it can be painful to wear, what with all that protuding stuff on the ring and the star can easily scrape other people. But I'm still really fond of it, that is until the star chipped off the other when I was shopping. I'm just really really sad.

Ring 6 is another really cool ring. I was ending my shopping spree when the sales girl presented this to me cos I was buying some flat looking rings and she thought that I might like one that is more dynamic. Made of stainless steel, it is forever shiny and the shape is just really cool when worn. Very striking.

Actually I can't really remember if ring 7 was bought in the same shopping spree. But oh well, that doesn't really matter. Made of silver, the beautiful part about it is of course the design. Those curves! Just gorgeous. However, it is not worn often as it just doesn't really go well with other rings somehow. Like I've tried pairing it with ring 2 but it just don't work. Hmmm...

And the last one for today, because I'm really tired and want to sleep. Ring 8 here is made of stainless steel and oh boy, I just love the devil motif. Very evil, very cool. And somehow the ring just has this dark shine, even though it's not black. It's a very convenient ring because it fits in with practically every single outfit so there was this period of time where I kept wearing it.

So yes, that'll be all for today. I'll leave the rest till the next time. Nyaha.

Wait, actually the narratives do have something to do with my life.

Well, in case you haven't realised or I haven't told you, these narratives were inspired by stuff going on around me! They are like...narrative blogging! Hahaha...But no, I shall not tell you what they are supposed to represent or describe. Lalala.

Anyway, many friends have requested that I put up a tagboard for them to tag comments but I'm freakin lazy to do it now so I guess you guys would have to count your constipations and see when I might do it. Maybe not soon.

Furthermore, people have shown concern and suspicion over the picture that I have used for this blog. I mean hey, I just dug out any picture that I had and plastered it here...ain't supposed to have anything to do with shit and constipation, although I really think that the girl looks constipated. So fun.

Oh well, now it is near the end of January, I'm still not done with my manga's draft!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Oh no! I'm only on page 25 and I have another 20 pages to go!!! So fun!

Ah well. I'm crapping.

Thus, her first task was to clean up her pig sty and make it sparkle like the Golden Shit~*** handed out to celebrities in the annual Golden Shit Awards.

Staring at the pile of unknown shits and rubbish that are rotting in her pig sty, Jiahui bit her lip in determination and digust before throwing herself into the depths of the dump and starts her nearly impossible task!

As Jiahui moves from pile to pile, she sweats, she gets pissed off, she blows her top, she goes to the toilet to shit and urine from time to time, but she never gave up! The thought of a happy, pretty, unconstipated pig sty pushes her on in her destiny!!!

Thus, after days and nights of endless scrubbing, throwing and packing, Jiahui endows upon the impossible!

She finally has a CLEAN DESK(or pig sty) TO DRAW ON!!!!

As Jiahui touches the long buried surface of her desk, tears fill her eyes and she wipes them away on her dusty sleeves in an act of stupidity that resulted in itchy eyes.

Oh well, whatever.

Yeah, fuck this world. I gotta get out of this dumpster and buy my own house!

In the pig sty that Jiahui lives in, Jiahui's table is (until today) still covered in rubbish and old notes dating to her A' level years. Thus Jiahui has no place to go in the pig sty and often spends her time in the water closet.

The water closet is the only place in the pig sty that is not covered with rubbish and has a place where Jiahui can sit comfortably in and read manga while shiting. So Jiahui adores the water closet and the equipments that it possesses.

However, Jiahui faces a huge crisis. Jiahui has been a lazy ass for the last one and a half month such that Jiahui is even lazy to go shit. Thus Jiahui suffers from constipation.

So one day, Jiahui is encouraged by a friend to face up to reality and to put in all her effort to get rid of the shit in her rectum and become the focused, passionate being that she used to be.

Thus, using all her might, Jiahui shited. She tried very very hard, hands holding on to her favourite manga and butt kissing the water closet's equipment.

Finally, Jiahui manages to struggle free of her constipation and shits!!!

Looking at the pile of constipated shit in the water closet's equipment, Jiahui stares intently at the amount of texture that it has developed in its days in her rectum. But Jiahui knows that the shit must go.

Therefore, without tears or sadness, Jiahui flushes the water closet's equipment with utmost determination and moves on in her life, determined to carve out a road of her own and not be undermined by anyone else.

The end.

Big Shit Right In Your Face!
4 January 2007

Bye bye Thailand, bye bye Hong Kong, bye bye Shang Hai. F*ck this world. Raaaaa...

New Hope Arises From New Shit
2 January 2007

Right, as I was saying on the last entry, it's bye bye Thailand, but hey! After the constipation, fresh shit gets in contact with the air of this world, thus I think we are going to go somewhere else other then Thailand.

Bye Bye Thailand. May The Bombers Constipate!
1 January 2007

Big Shit. Bye bye Thailand. Probably not going anymore. I'm so freakin pissed I wanna gorge to death. AAARRGGHH.

As The Constipation Arises!
31 Dec 2006

Yes, here's an addition to today's servings.