Event Horizon

The can machine is humming. It annoys me when I listen to it. My chin and forehead are warm. It feels like insects crawling over my skin. My left hand aches. I am making it ache. Complete control. My watch is not like a constricting python for my wrist, but I'm scared of my body. I'm scared of it but it's my transport. My cheeks itch now. Somebody walks by, submersed in solitary thought. Vacant. Why? Are humans lone by nature or are we supposed to be together? I move my wrist so I can't see the underside. Shifting thoughts around the brain in pulses. Moving from the back to the front and then to the sides. Empty feeling in stomach. Haven't felt that in a while. Why the sudden anxiety? Couldn't believe it... lying alone.... sad for the first time. Why? Tingle up the spine feeling like pure despair. Despair feels good and bad together. Solipsist. There... I said it. Solipsist? Solipsist by choice or solipsist by chance? Depends on whether free will exists. Alone? Insanity? Why suffer from it when you can really enjoy it? Do I enjoy it or do I hate it? I can't tell it's too confusing. Does a free will gene exist? Keep the encryption key safe. Too many wrong hands. Too many blackmailers. Liquid emotions. Chemical messengers coursing through body. What matters in the world? Not money. Not power. Aptitude for greed destroyed. What matters? The clichés? Love? Friendship? No. They are irrelevant. Human beings are irrelevant.

Take away eyes, nose, tongue, ears and nerves, what are you left with? A consciousness? A sentience? What is that though? This is life so don't choose it. A lone consciousness screaming through neural pathways. Can a consciousness be in two places? Can we simultaneously access a memory of happiness whilst experiencing the feeling of happiness? What is happiness? Does happiness come from unhappiness or does unhappiness come from happiness? Can machine stops. Hums. Humans. Expensive neural networks. Higher cognitive thinking. Improve your intelligence. Have your brain transplanted. Expensive circuit boards. Plastic. Glass. Money. It's all that matters to the body. Sharks swim lethally but sharks on land are more dangerous. Spend your life spending. Spend your life wasting. Spend your life forever unhappy. Spend your life in the pursuit of plastic, glass and circuits. Higher cognitive thinking. Cerebral cortex aches. Spinal cord spasms. Ear itches. Box of peppers on the floor. But problems with definitions create hazards. What is the definition of definition and what is the definition of definition if infinite regress is not possible? Ironic that the bridge fell down soon after. Quite a prophecy don't you think? Even more ironic that it was repaired by December. If God would care to send a storm to knock it down again, I'll continue with my analogy.

What matters to the mind? Every experience is a simple electrical signal. Why don't I just start downloading thoughts, memories and emotions off the Internet? Maybe I should start up a company. Sell CDROMS packed with emotions for every occasion. Can't grieve naturally? Let us help! Having trouble with postnatal depression? Let us help! Once you start trying to understand how to be happy you only realise happiness is an illusion. You realise life is an illusion and there are no certain things. Is this reality a test? Are we souls being tested? Does life have a meaning or are we wandering aimlessly through an illusionary world, trying to find validation. I bet the satellites are enjoying this. ECHELON. Come and get me. Invade my life, invade my body, but you'll never get to my mind. My mind belongs to me. Listen to my phone calls, watch me on CCTV, track me with satellites, look at my bank statement, view my browsing and eating habits, check whether I'm using the subversive brand of toothpaste, read my email, SMS, computer files and letters but you'll never read my mind. Free will is an illusion of the senses but not of the mind. You can't change my personality, you can't change my thoughts and you can't change my memories. I'm committing an act of great moral doubt right now. What are you going to do about it? Call the police? How many witnesses do you have to the inside of my head? Now I'm going to commit mental suicide. It's been nice. BBye.