I'm staring into his eyes. His deep, dark brown soulful eyes. When did I swear I would never get into this position again? This position with him. Falling into his eyes.

I hate him. I do. I hate him for all that he has done to me.

But I love him. He's mine, my sire, mine. For all eternity. Nothing can change that.

And here I am again in this position, with him.

__________

His blue eyes are drawing me in, deeper and deeper. I promised myself I would never lose myself to anyone again, especially after Buffy. But it had happened. I'm in this position again, and with him.

I hate him. But I wish I could say it with conviction though. If you heard the words, they'd be weak, meaningless.

I can't hate him. I've always been in love with him, since the first time I saw him. I knew I couldn't live without him. So I took him to me, to be with me for all eternity. And here he is.

He's my childe, mine, always. Nothing can change that.

But being here with him, in this position, things are changing.

________

We're staring at each other. I wonder if his thoughts mimic mine. The thoughts on how I never wanted to be caught in his love again, to feel the need, the need that I have to have him forever.

Ever since I first laid eyes on him, I'd changed. I wasn't William, my father's son, but William, Angelus's toy. That's what he did. He toyed with me. I doubt if he ever felt real love for me.

No, I take that back. I know he felt or feels love for me. I could see it in his actions. I think it's come back.

'Cept this time, we're not doing the killing. We're watching. Watching each other, waiting for the other's move. It's like old times, fighting with each other, when he was training me. He watched me for sudden movements, and I'd watch him for the same.

Now we're watching again, but for a totally different reason. Not to train. I lick my lips in anticipation. He watches my actions silently, not having said anything at all night. Quiet, usual for him.

________

He's been quiet. Very unusual for this vampire that can hardly stand still for less then a minute. But he has stood still for more then a minute. He's silent, watching me, waiting for me to make a move.

I don't know why he's watching me. He could make the move if he wanted too. We're none longer completely separated by the master/childe relationship. Though it is there if I need to use it, me and him have become more like equals over the past year. And it changed abruptly yesterday and earlier today.

________

Yesterday was a strange day. After living with the chip in my head for over a year, it's suddenly removed. I woke up one night, in a warehouse I didn't know, with these vampires leaning over me. They told me I was free of my duty. Can't believe it was only yesterday.

My duty. I'd been helping Angel. Being sent there after the Slayer and her chums had gotten fed up with me. I helped him, and we kept our distance. Never any confrontations.

But here's one now.

________

I can't bear it. He's been helping me. I'd believed he was good. Under all I knew he wasn't. He was still sarcastic, and stupid, but he'd helped me, pulled my ass from the fire many times over the past 6 months. Things had been better then they had been for the past 50 years.

Then he was suddenly gone last night. He didn't come back before the sun rose. I was worried. The age-old habit for protecting my childe had come back, and I wasn't too happy with it.

He'd showed up not even 10 minutes ago, and I knew something was different. He smelled like innocent blood. I could see the traces of drooled blood faintly on his chin. He had looked at me, and I thought I saw a flash of guilt. But it had been gone and replaced with his usual cocky attitude.

And we have been standing facing each other ever since.

_________

He's still staring at me. Damn, it's putting me on edge. I want to shift my feet, or something, but it'd be giving up the advantage. And I can't risk that now.

Quiet he is, staring. I can't get over it. Just say something! I scream silently. I know he knows what happened. Why doesn't he move, or do anything at all?

I don't like be quiet, or stillness. I'm getting to the point where I'm going to start fidgeting, yet I stayed calm on the outside, refusing to let him see it.

And still he watches.

_________

Spike's staring at me now, silent still, not moving. But his eyes betray him. I have always been able to read him by his eyes. They're so expressive.

They scream to me to do something, because he wants to move. But yet he doesn't. The stillness is killing him. I still don't know what to do.

But I slowly make the first move, coming to him.

______

He's approaching me. I hold still, and refused the urge to turn tail and run. He comes slowly, not making any sudden movements.

I don't move and he's soon standing right in front of me. He stares down at me, his eyes unreadable, like they always have been to me. Can't ever read him or his eyes. He brought his hand up and caressed my cheek. I didn't flinch.

He leaned down and kissed my forehead. Dropping his head ever so slightly, making his mouth level with my ear, he whispered, "Don't bring your fight here again."

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