After almost literally three minutes of real preparation throughout the entire holidays, and two on the day, we had decided; how so can we increase the greatness of the show that is Stars In Their Eyes? Singing stuff no-one has heard before? Perfect. Getting an ancient Chemistry teacher to breakdance on stage? Great. Get Dick Walsh to record it on camera? Not so good. There are 8 pictures of librarians and about four of Em's backstage. But it was enough...
There were not a great number of performers to begin with: the list is as follows:
Jack Howarth; Bass Guitar and Campest outfit.
Jack Coleman; the one who a) plays the guitar properly and b) knows the songs.
Me, Cribbers; general official Hanger-on...Oh, and vocals when remembered.
Evantually these ranks swelled to include:
The IMMORTAL LEGENDARY MR. BAMBER; Break-dancing, main man.
McNedwin; riffing triangulist-meister soloist, "Sexual" "Train" vocals.
Dick "Thingy" Walsh; the one who couldn't decide if he was going to be there and do nothing at all.
Ronan; a complete and utter bastard who just turned up on stage while we were playing.
The Vedge; MOST POPULAR memeber of the group, and also a giant shrew.
Five "flyaway" footballs; bought for £1.20 each, actual value 7p for the lot.
There weren't many of us...But it was enough...
Then there was the actual performance, which was actually quite... adequate. Screaming vocals, unheard bass, weorded amp guitar, a giant shrew, and MR BAMBER (IMMORTAL AND LEGENDARY). We didn't make the finals. We didn't intend to. We managed to convince several hundred people that TMPE were a faded mid 90's Japanese-Canadian crossover Britpop band. We took the piss with merry abandon.
But it was enough...
