HOME		Speeding through a date
					By Ramesh Kallidai
			It seems Indian men and women are getting married later and later in Britain. “That’s because most men and women have become more choosy,” confided Nishit a friend of mine (name changed to preserve his reputation!). Nishit has been searching for his elusive bride for the last two years. Nishit, and another friend of mine, Suresh (whose identity had been changed too) have tried everything possible to find their soul-mates, but have not had much success. They have had many introductions to possible suitors, met young girls through social circles, even got their CVs registered on Shaadi.com, made discreet calls to someone called ‘Aunty’ whose ad features regularly on Zee TV, and  have yet had no luck at all. But it was only after Nishit and Suresh went to a speed-dating event, and described the proceedings in great detail, that I finally realised how getting married in Britain was now a totally different experience from that of my own. My mind reeled in horror when Nishit told me that they had dated 25 girls in 2 hours. But they quickly reassured me that it was all honourable, and most of the men and women were seriously looking for partners to get married to. Suresh explained patiently that the women sit on one table, and the men walk around from one table to the next. They spend three minutes talking to each woman. If they find someone ‘interesting’, they tick their names. If the girl also ticks your name, then you get a ‘match’.
				“I had three matches,” he explained. “But nothing came out of it. I became good friends with one of the girls, but that was it.” The poor lad had an embarrassing moment on his second speed date. He met a lady who had been a match on his previous speed date. She had arranged to meet him at a restaurant, but never turned up. “Well, actually, she was more embarrassed than I was when she saw me again,” he laughed. Apparently, each speed-dating costs £35. So far, my friends have been on four, and not met a single person they may be compatible with. I did not have the heart to tell them that they had wasted a perfectly useful sum of £140 on a useless pursuit. The traditional introduction resulting from parents who network in the community seems the best bet yet. In the Vedic tradition, the institution of marriage is held very sacred. Both husband and wife come together to serve God, and keep Him as the centre of their lives. The Vedic saints had figured out that a God-centric marriage helped relationships grow stronger and kept vices at bay. I hoped that new fangled ideas and experiments like speed-dating will not affect the sanctity of marriage.