Why Do Hotdogs Come In Packages Of 10 And Hotdog Buns Come In Packages Of 8?
   One of the prime questions of our time, one that has plagued man for many years, one that has been slowly chiseling away at the pillars of each and every consumer!  "Why do hotdogs come in packages of 10 and hotdog buns come in packages of 8?"  Everybody has their own conspiracy on this question.  Many different answers range from hotdog companies trying to make more money, to having extra hotdogs for food fights, to food for the dog, and even to go as far as the work of Eudora Welty(NEVER speek of the name again).  The main obsession should not be trying to figure out why, but how it should be changed and why.
     Hotdog and hotdog bun companies are evidently trying to make a larger profit by forcing you to buy 4 packs of hotdogs and 5 packs of hotdog buns, giving you 40 hotdogs and 40 hotdog buns.  This campaing forces hotdog concumers into buying more servings than they desire.
     Many people have tryed to solve this mania by playing hotdogs in hamburger buns.  This trend will not last long becuase what happens when you place hotdogs in hamburger buns?  The first part is that hotdog bun companies will rapidly loose money, but this will be avioded by the hamburger bun itself.  If you have ever tryed eating hotdogs in a hamburger bun you know that the hotdogs will inevitably roll out leaving you with dirty hotdogs on the floor and messy fingers, then your dog may come up and eat your hotdogs and spread a lovely mess all over your house, wiping his face all over your furniture, and you are stuck to clean it all because you tryed to outsmart the hotdog bun companies.
     With equality in each package your left over hotdogs will never go bad and you will not have to waste your money on the Food Saver or some other cheap contraption off an Info-merical.  If the number hotdogs and hotdog buns in each parcel is not equal, then houses across the county will be trying new methods such as the hamburger technique all ending in catastrophe.
     All of us can hopefully now agree that this must be changed and our hotdog worries must parish.  If hotdog and hotdog bun companies do not take action then i propose the 28th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.  "That all hotdogs and hotdg buns must be distibuted in equal portions to the consumer."
Hotdogs, An American Tragedy
2-12-02
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