MY JOURNAL
FEBRUARY

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February 1, 1997
Today is really good. Mom has been in a good mood all day. We are going out for dinner tomorrow and she is looking forward to it. I finally got caught up with all the laundry.:-) Now for the house work.:-(

February 6, 1997
Mom was in such a good mood Monday, but, has been miserable the last few. I enjoy her so much when she is being nice. I wish I could determine what gets her in such bad states. My brother came back down and she was happy about that. I know we both suffer from S.A.D, but, the last few days have been really sunny, although cold. Her appetite is better and her sleeping pattern has improved. She goes to bed by 11:30pm and gets up around 8:00am. Oh well, maybe tomorrow will be better.

February 9, 1997
Gosh, I got so mad today. I went in to change one thing on my index page and the editor completely lost the entire page. I have been working on reconstruting that page all day. It isn't the same at all but, I hope it is still o.k. Mom has been wondering what on earth I have been doing. She has been really good about it though. My brother is watching her.

February 11, 1997
Things are pretty much the same as always. Stressful. Mom is still confused alot, when she isn't she's in a bad mood. The fuses for my dryer keep going out, thank goodness that is getting fixed next week.

February 14, 1997
Happy Valentines Day All. I hope that it was good for you. I didn't do anything special, just another day. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever have the chance to meet someone again???? I'm going to be 43 tomorrow and feel older than my mom. A friend said that I was growing old with her. Enough feeling sorry for myself. I made this decision. I am looking forward to the 24th. I am taking a short course at our local college, it will be strange being around other people.

February 18, 1997
Well, my birthday went off without a hitch. The family came up for dinner and cake, we had a good time. Mom was upset because she forgot to get me a card, then she forgot whos birthday it was anyway. Ü She has been doing pretty good. She is getting more repetative with her questions, which gets annoying at times. She is walking around without her walker now. That is a big improvement. I was afraid that she would always depend on it now.

February 20, 1997
Things have been pretty hectic here. Our electric system was changed out today, so we sat in the dark until 7:30pm. Mom was getting scared, she thought that the entire city was blacked out. She was fine once the lights came back on. We made hot water for coffee in the fireplace and roasted hot dogs too.

February 21, 1997
I had a hard night last night, couldn't get to sleep for anything. Mom wasn't the problem, she slept well. I was very depressed when I got up this morning, I'm not really sure why. I checked my guestbook and e-mail first thing and I felt better right away. I had eight new letters and several from others that write back often. I decided to do a page for you guys, it is from the heart. Thanks to all for all the Birthday Wishes.

February 24, 1997
Well, today was the first day of my class. It was great being out of the house, around other adults who are in the same boat but, especially ones that can carry a conversation.My ad for the day care began running today. I hope that people call. Mom was very upset with me when I came home. I had left her and heard about it all night and I mean ALL night. It made me feel guilty, I am the only constant thing in her life and she gets scared when I'm not around.

February 25, 1997
I am learning some new things in this class, like don't ask the 'W' questions such as; why, when, where, who, would or How come. They just don't know the answers. Mom is still mad at me. She has been in a terrible mood, being alot more confused than usual. She doesn't understand why she can't go with me like she always does. Explaining it to her only helps for awhile.

February 27, 1997
I'm glad that today is the last day until Monday for class. I am hoping that I can get mom calmed down. She was packing and unpacking all night last night. She swore that she was moving and that if I'd get her daughter she would verify it. Finally, I told her that the moving van wouldn't be around for several hours and she should rest until then, that did the trick. She went to bed and didn't get up until 2:45pm. She gets sp worried when I am not around.

February 28, 1997
Today was much better. Mom was still up alot last night but, she wasn't as confused. She keeps asking me if I'm going to stay home today. Maybe we can bake some cookies or something.

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