Friendly Advice and Comments

Jeff's Advice:

Some people have emotional problems that just get too heavy for them to deal with. If the person was a good student, into sports, into other activities, maybe it all just got to be too much for them to handle, like maybe they couldn't deal with always living up to the high standards everyone expected of them. Some people who seem just fine on the outside can be bursting inside from the emotional stress they put on themselves.

I know how hard it is to lose someone... and it really sucks when someone that young, someone who hasn't really had a chance to experience life, kills themself.

If you're having anxiety about this - don't worry, it's normal. If you're waking up at night, don't worry about it. It means that your mind just kinda got caught going in circles. The best thing you can do is accept the grief you feel; don't try to ignore it, do just the opposite and let it just wash through you. It's ok to feel total grief and despair for awhile. Believe me, sooner or later it WILL feel less awful... and you'll be left with good memories of him/her.

Sariah's Advice:

Losing a friend is hard enough, let alone to suicide. It will take a while to get used to it; the shock wears off slower for some than for others. It'll probably hit you again from time to time, and you might spend a lot of time crying before you can remember him/her without feeling broken. Believe me, everything you've gone through and will go through is completely normal. Everyone has their own way of grieving, and there is no right or wrong way. Spend time with family and friends, they'll give you enough hugs and support to get you through!! Please don't consider the same ending as someone else!!

Dave's Advice:

The death of innocence is so tragic. And who really knows when we might be helping someone in a crisis? We are encouraged to help others and even in small ways; a friendly hello or smile can really make a difference in someone's day.

I always felt sorry for the kids in school who were picked on by others. I rarely joined in on that kind of behavior. I always felt bad, too, when I fell into that bad behavior. Why do some people have to criticize others???

James's Advice:

That is really too bad when people commit suicide. I think that a lot of kids that commit suicide are very nice. They usually seem to be ok, and you would never think that they would commit suicide.

Kari's Advice:

People who are suicidal feel like nobody cares, that they aren't important, and have pretty low self esteem. If you know anyone you think might be suicidal, some things that can be helpful are putting them up, not too much; then it seems like you're bluffing, just a simple, "nice outfit", or even, "your hair looks nice" can make the biggest difference. Also, make sure you listen to what they're saying, giving them your full attention.

A friend of mine can be annoying sometimes, when you're talking to her and in the middle of the conversation, she'll turn around and talk to someone else. It took time to realize that that's just her, because for awhile I thought she just didn't care that I was still talking.

Another good thing to do is write. Many times the person needs to vent their anger and frustration. Writing is really good for that, because what you say can't hurt anyone unless you let them read what you wrote. It also lets the person look back later and say, "Wow! I was ready to kill myself over that loser dumping me, and now I've got an even better guy who cares about me." Or something like that. It's really sobering when you look back and realize that had you gone through with it, you'd be missing so much.

If anyone you know gets really depressed you can tell them to think about what they might miss, like the freedom to drive, or vote, or stay out late. Remind them of how much other people would miss them, including you. If they're upset with a person for specific reasons, they should wait until they're leaving for a weekend or a period of time longer than one day, and leave a note telling the other person how they feel somewhere that person will find it. Then, the person can't interrupt them, they don't get mad and say stuff they don't mean, and they have time to cool off and start thinking rationally again. The most important thing is writing it, though, so they get a chance to say exactly what they mean, however long it takes them to say it, and they can't be interrupted while they're talking, since they aren't around for that person to get upset and interrupt them.

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